


Manservant

by MerthurDestinies



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 22:22:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 54,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17252468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerthurDestinies/pseuds/MerthurDestinies
Summary: When Uther catches Arthur in bed with Lady Vivian alongside her father, he is horrified and humiliated by Arthur's behaviour. He has had enough. There is only one person to blame for this whole mess.Arthur's manservant.Uther decides that Arthur must be pushed to use his manservant as his bedwarmer, to satisfy his son enough that he won't ever try to get into another lady's skirts until Uther has married him off properly.Merlin and Arthur are both horrified.





	1. Chapter 1

It was another day, another love enchantment broken, another Arthur making a fool of himself over a visiting noble lady. Merlin felt bad not being able to tell Arthur about the enchantment, specially this time. Uther was furious. After Lady Vivian had left and Merlin thought it was all over, Uther ordered Arthur to come see him in Arthur’s chambers.

“No!” Uther yelled and Merlin flinched. Assuming that Uther only wanted to speak to Arthur, Arthur allowed Merlin to go to Gaius, but Uther stopped that thought before Merlin could even move towards his mentor’s chambers. “You’re coming too!” Merlin felt terror flow into his veins. Why would Uther be that angry at him? Could it be… he somehow knew about Merlin’s magic? No… it couldn’t be.

“What does your father want?” Merlin whispered as he walked just behind him.

“As if I knew.” Arthur whispered back. Once in Arthur’s rooms, Uther sat himself on Arthur’s chair, glaring at them down.

“Do you know, how much you’ve embarrassed me today Arthur?” Uther said coldly.

“Father… I don’t know what came over me… I… sincerely apologise for my behaviour.” Arthur said. Merlin looked down.

“You almost got yourself killed! Over a woman!” Uther yelled. “Not to mention the disgraceful light you put your king in!”

“Sire, it wasn’t his fault, I-”

“That is quite true!” Uther snapped and cut Merlin off. “It’s your fault!”

“Father, what on earth would Merlin have to do with this?” Arthur asked.

“You, boy, are Arthur’s manservant. It’s _your_ job to satisfy his appetite!” Uther yelled, pointing a gloved finger right at Merlin. Merlin blinked and dared to look away to see Arthur’s face pale.

“Um… I’m sorry sire, I didn’t realise I wasn’t getting enough food for you.” Merlin said. Arthur didn’t respond, didn’t even look at him.

“No, you blithering idiot! You are supposed to warm Arthur’s bed and let him satisfy himself with you.” Uther shouted and Merlin understood. What he was hearing was so ridiculous that he laughed.

“Oh…” He stopped laughing. “You’re serious.” Merlin looked at Arthur, trying to understand what the hell was happening. “…what?” He had to repeat, the information not quite getting into his head.

“Father, I’m not taking _Merlin_ to bed. What happened today with lady Vivian was…”

“Was the result of a virile young man abstaining from fornication. Your needs are supposed to be met by your manservant. _All_ your needs.” Uther turned to Merlin then and Merlin felt colour rush to his face, leaving him feeling hot and embarrassed and unable to meet anyone’s eye. “You will take him to your bed and use him as you see fit. For the next week I will station guards at your door. They will report to me on your nightly activities. If they don’t hear anything satisfactory, I will procure you another manservant, until you find someone that satisfies your palate and ends this trend of you making a fool of yourself over women!” Uther finished and stood, making his way toward the door.

“Father, you can’t be serious! Father!” But Uther didn’t look at Arthur. Instead he gave Merlin a look that made Merlin shrink in on himself with shame, embarrassment and fear.

Merlin watched Arthur run after Uther. There was some more yelling in the corridor, which Merlin couldn’t register. He had to sit himself down on the nearest chair, feeling dizzy.

When Arthur returned, Merlin realised everything had gone quiet. “…Arthur?” He wasn’t exactly sure what to ask. Arthur avoided eye-contact with him as he went to pour himself some of the wine Merlin had brought up earlier.

“Father says, that finding me in Vivian’s bed was the last straw. He fears me ending up with a bastard.” Arthur said as he paced somewhere behind Merlin, but Merlin didn’t dare turn around. He stared at the window, as the light of day changed to an orange glow. The sun was setting.

“I should… get your dinner, sire.” Merlin said, standing and leaving the room. Arthur didn’t try and stop him and Merlin was relieved.

Instead of heading for the kitchens, Merlin rushed to Gaius’ chambers. “Gaius!”

Gaius was sitting down, staring at the flames. “Uther was just here, Merlin.”

Merlin felt a chill go down his spine. “What did he say?”

Gaius looked at him and took a deep breath. “That I should encourage you to fulfil your duties as Arthur’s manservant.”

“Did you know this was one of the manservant’s duties?” Merlin asked.

“Merlin, of course not. It’s not… actually a duty… just a custom of some lords. I’ve seen Arthur growing up, he would never be the kind of person to follow such a custom.”

Merlin looked away. “What now?”

Gaius looked away before handing him a bottle. “Uther ordered I give you this. Oil, to help make things easier.” He said. Merlin felt the heat on his face again and looked away, taking the bottle only because Uther had ordered Gaius to do it.

“I can’t do this… Gaius.” Merlin whispered.

“You don’t have to. Refuse and Uther will get another manservant… and another and another until Arthur obeys.” Gaius said. Merlin bit his bottom lip.

“And then who will protect Arthur?” Merlin asked. Who’s to say the next manservant would even be trustworthy? He looked at the bottle and left. Neither he nor Gaius said anything else.

As Merlin placed the dinner before Arthur, he placed the oil on the other end of the table. “Your… father asked Gaius to give this to you.” Merlin said and went to prepare Arthur’s bath.

Thankfully Arthur seemed distracted enough that he didn’t notice him heat up the bathwater with magic.   
  
Arthur took longer than usual coming to get into the bath. When he did, Merlin turned away even though Arthur undressed behind the cherry-wood screen.

Merlin tried to think of a way to lighten up the mood. All humour from the Vivian situation had flown out of his mind. “I’m sorry.” Merlin blurted out.

“What have you done _now_?” Arthur asked from behind the screen.

“I’m sorry for getting fired.” Merlin said.

“In case you haven’t realised, Merlin, you haven’t been fired.” Arthur said and Merlin heard him get into the bath.

“As good as. Is your father… serious?” Merlin asked.

“You can hear the guards outside the door already, you tell me.” Arthur replied and Merlin busied himself by placing the other’s dirty clothes in the laundry basket. “Merlin… I’m not going to force you into anything. However… the only two options _you_ have is to leave this room and not come back tomorrow or…”

Merlin couldn’t turn around, he couldn’t look at Arthur’s face right now. “Or get in the bath with you?” He tried to joke, trying to lighten the mood even though he couldn’t turn around to look him in the eye.

“Precisely.”

Merlin turned to look at Arthur, who was looking at him intensely. Any other topic and Merlin would think Arthur was just trying to tease him. However, this? Arthur would never joke with something like this. 

But Merlin had no choice. Arthur didn’t realise it but his only choice was to stay. He would never turn tail and abandon Arthur to his enemies. Not when… all he had to do was… whatever the hell it was that couples do at night when no one is looking.

Seeing that Merlin wasn’t moving to the door, Arthur chose to continue. “You should undress.” Arthur ordered more than suggested. Merlin’s heart raced in his chest out of fear of the unknown. He looked down and then proceeded to take off his shirt, his shoes, his trousers… He looked up to see Arthur looking away.

“Should I get in, sire?” Merlin asked.

Arthur nodded and Merlin got in, sitting down with his knees up against his chest in the pleasantly hot water. He’d never bathed with such hot water before and found himself sighing, feeling some of the tension leave his body. For a second he forgot why he was here. He remembered the instant he opened his eyes and saw Arthur staring at him.

Merlin had no idea what to do now. “Do I need to do something else, sire?” He asked.

“Have you ever lain with a man, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“No, sire.” Merlin said. Neither of them was looking at each other by then.

“Have you ever lain with a woman?” Arthur asked.

“…No, sire.” Merlin said. “Have you?” Merlin turned to look at him and Arthur shook his head.

“No but… I’ve been… educated on the matter.”

“On how to lie with women?” Merlin asked surprised.

“No, you _idiot._ How to lie with men. Did you not hear to a word the king said?”

“To be honest, after he said I’m supposed to satisfy your appetite I kind of slowly blocked everything else out.” Merlin mumbled. Arthur shook his head.

“Once I was sixteen summers along I was made to… watch, to learn. Only a few times until I could force out the words ‘I understand’.” Arthur said. Merlin looked at him, he looked embarrassed to say the least. “Father never insisted I do anything about it until all these stupid mishaps.”

“Oh… well… I’m at your disposal, sire.” Merlin said, not really knowing what else to say.

“You can still get up and leave.” Arthur said.

“I don’t want to stop being your servant.” Merlin said very clearly.

“Fine… since you agree… finish washing me off.” Arthur demanded. This part Merlin was comfortable with. This part he knew. He grabbed the wet cloths and used the scented lotion for the wash to clean Arthur’s skin. As usual it smelled like sandalwood and black pepper. He washed Arthur’s back and worked on his hair. Everything was the same except for the fact that this time Merlin was in the water with him. Arthur did the rest himself before turning to Merlin, grabbing another cloth. “Turn around.” He said gently.

This was new. Merlin turned his back to him, continuing to kneel on the wooden bath as they’d been doing. He jumped a little when he felt Arthur’s hand on his shoulder, keeping him still as he worked on his back, trailing cloth and fingers down his spine, making Merlin shiver. He closed his eyes. He had to do this. He had to.

Arthur’s arm went round his waist and pulled him back against him. Merlin didn’t do anything. He just let Arthur do what he wanted. Mostly because he still couldn’t believe this was happening, but also because he had no idea _what_ exactly was going to happen. He could feel Arthur’s muscular chest press against his back, the heat radiating off of him onto his skin.

Arthur made Merlin lean down over the edge of the bath. He felt the cold trickle of oil falling onto his lower back, trailing down slowly. Merlin shivered and closed his eyes. Just stay still Merlin, just do your job. You need to stay close to Arthur to be able to protect him.

It was painful, in a tolerable and pleasant kind of way. Merlin grunted as he was filled and whimpered when the burning pain would go from pleasant to uncomfortable and back again as Arthur moved. Despite knowing that the guards were supposed to hear, Merlin tried his best to muffle his sounds, but he couldn’t keep them in. Not that it mattered, his grunts of pain sounded the same as the moans of something better. He tried to only think of that, not of what was happening. Not of what he was doing and with whom or the why.

He could sort of feel something building in the base of his navel, but he would lose it now and then. He tried to understand why people did this willingly and cried out as Arthur got more… hurried. His grip on Merlin’s hips became harder, pulling Merlin to meet Arthur’s thrusts. Merlin panted and moaned and whimpered far too loudly for his own dignity. Dignity.

The moment that word crossed Merlin’s mind he felt a well of emotion start to overfill and tears form on his eyes. Thankfully, his back was turned to Arthur.

Arthur leaned down, holding Merlin tight against him and Merlin heard the prince’s pleasure in the sounds whispered against his ear.

It was starting to hurt more than feel good. “A-arthur…” He panted and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out as Arthur seemed to tense up against him and make sounds of pleasure that Merlin had never heard him make. Knowing that he was the only one to have heard such sounds coming from the prince, Merlin’s heart beat faster with a selfish kind of thrill.

Then, just like it happened, it was over. Arthur moved away from him and stepped out of the bath. Merlin couldn’t look at him. Arthur went behind the screen and began to dry himself. Merlin sat in the water for a few seconds longer, trying to process what they’d just done. He thought it would be easy. A small action to pay for staying by Arthur’s side. Instead, he felt like something between them had changed entirely in an irreparable way.

Once he was certain his knees wouldn’t give away under him, Merlin got himself out of the bath and patted himself dry quickly, putting his clothes back on and trying to act normal, only he couldn’t quite remember how normal was anymore.

Arthur came out wearing his trousers for bed, looking like he too didn’t know what to say.

Merlin stared at the bathwater that he was supposed to empty out. Even though he’d just had the best bath he’d ever had, he somehow felt dirtier than he’d ever been.

“I’ll empty out the bath then.” Merlin said heading for the buckets, trying to ignore the fact that he was still very much sore, in places he didn’t even know he could feel things.

Arthur seemed to clear his throat and nodded. “And then I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Right.” Merlin nodded his head and moved to empty out the bath. It took relatively less time than normal. Arthur was out for the count the second he hit his pillow. It almost surprised Merlin to see the other look so relaxed. Had Merlin’s… service… really been enough to make him feel like that?

In any case, it allowed him to fill two buckets and empty out the rest with magic. As he made his way out he didn’t expect the guards to still be there. He assumed after they… heard that they’d have enough to report to the king. Instead one sneered and looked away while the other smirked and leered at him. Somehow, Merlin felt he’d lost something in Arthur’s room that he couldn’t quite regain. His dignity. He hoped only Uther would get the ‘report’.

Merlin only walked even faster away from Arthur’s rooms. 

When he arrived at Gaius’ rooms, everything was quiet. He stared at the bowl of food waiting for him and took a deep breath, trying to shove emotion to the back of his mind where it belonged. He ate what he could manage and dragged himself to bed. Suddenly, his room felt too cold for comfort and even a warmth spell did nothing to help him warm up.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin faded in and out of sleep. He worried he would fall into a deep sleep and not wake up in time for his normal duties, but he found himself waking up fully to the sound of the birds announcing the sun rise. He sat up and winced. He felt even worse than before. Now that his body had a chance to cool down and the damage had a chance to sink in, he felt even worse. In fact he almost felt a little nauseous.

Why the hell did people do that willingly? Then again… he did enjoy hearing Arthur make those sounds… and he did enjoy the way the other held him so close. Maybe it wasn’t that bad but… all he could think about was the fact that Uther would know. That those guards knew. He couldn’t shake the way they looked at him out of his mind.

He forced himself out of bed and became fully aware that he smelled completely of Arthur. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of his clothes, which carried the scent of the soap from the bath. He felt heat rising to his face and sighed. There was no point hiding away in his room. He had his duties to start. He wasn’t about to get fired for not doing his job after going through all that the day before.

The morning smelled of burning logs and fresh hey. It came in cold snaps to the face, the temperatures dropping now that winter was almost upon them. Merlin wanted to walk fast to get his body temperature up, but he was too sore to do so comfortably. He simply hoped the chill wouldn’t cling so much once the sun had fully risen.

Standing outside Arthur’s door, no guards present, Merlin took a minute to take a deep breath before going in.

“Rise and shine!” He said brightly. It was easy to fake since he said the same thing every day. He placed Arthur’s breakfast down and moved to open the curtains.

He turned to see Arthur, his back to him, still asleep. He came over and reached down to shake his shoulders.

“Come on, your breakfast will get cold and then you’ll complain.” Merlin insisted. Arthur opened his eyes and everything clicked into place.

“Fine.” Arthur complained, getting out of bed and going to grab his breakfast. Merlin assembled the other’s armour for training while Arthur ate. Arthur would send the random criticism his way and Merlin would apologise and flounder to fix his mistake. Everything was back to normal between them. As if nothing had happened.

If Merlin didn’t actually feel it, he’d be wondering if maybe he had dreamed the entire thing. Training went without a hitch. Everything seemed completely back to normal. Merlin almost began to forget about what happened the night before. He went about his duties as usual, as did Arthur. As sun began to set, tension returned to Merlin’s body.

Surely once was enough, right? He wasn’t brave enough to flat out ask. At the sound of the guards arriving to stand outside the door, Merlin looked up to find Arthur staring at him.

“Is that… all you need, sire?” Merlin asked, holding the basket of dirty clothes against his chest.

“Merlin… are you feeling alright? After last night?” Arthur asked and Merlin looked down, feeling the heat on his face.

“Yep, fine, completely fine.” He lied. What else was there to say? Arthur was the prince and he was a servant. If he was asking how he was, it wasn’t because he actually cared. Well, maybe with Arthur he actually cared, but Merlin wasn’t used to burdening Arthur with his feelings.

“I’m sorry, this is all my fault.” Arthur said as he moved to the bed, pulling off his shirt and tossing it carelessly to the side. Merlin rolled his eyes at that, picking it up and tossing it in the basket. “How could I have done something like that? I don’t even like lady Vivian.” Arthur said and Merlin felt guilt eating him inside once more. He tried not to even think about Gwen. It was, after all, she who Arthur truly loved.

Merlin put the basket down and took a deep breath looking at Arthur. “Arthur… the truth is… this wasn’t your fault.” He said.

Arthur narrowed his eyes at him. “Why? What do you know?” He asked.

Merlin chose his next words carefully. “Well… some of the visiting nobles were not too keen on the treaty being signed… they had a love enchantment placed on both of you hoping for war between both territories.” Merlin said.

Arthur stared at him for a long time. “If that is true, why was my father not made aware of it?” He demanded.

“Last time I tried to accuse a visiting noble without proof, I drank poison.” Merlin said.

“So, none of this was my fault?” Arthur asked.

“Of course not, Arthur. You’re the noblest man I’ve ever met. You would never intentionally cause any dishonour on anyone.” Merlin said. That look he sent Merlin made Merlin want nothing more than to reassure the prince. He looked so guilty. He smiled softly. “Will that be all, sire?”

“…It’s cold tonight, Merlin.”

“Shall I get more firewood sire?” He asked.

“You should get in bed with me.” Arthur said simply and Merlin tried not to go tense. He nodded and left the laundry basket to the side before taking off everything except his trousers, crawling into the bed, feeling unsure all over again. He glanced at Arthur, who was just staring at the pattern of the top blanket.

“Anything else, sire?” Merlin asked. It was the not knowing what Arthur would do that made him nervous. At least if it was clear-cut he could prepare himself mentally. Were there any other things that people did in bed other than what they’d already done? He wasn’t even sure.

Arthur didn’t answer, instead he climbed on top of Merlin, settling between his legs and Merlin shuddered as he felt Arthur’s hips pressing against his. “Are you sure this is alright, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

Merlin gulped. “I was born to serve you, Arthur.” Merlin said softly. The response made Merlin feel a little dirty after he said it, and made Arthur look even guiltier. Maybe that’s why Arthur chose to lean down and burry his face against Merlin’s neck, to avoid looking into his eyes as Arthur began to grind up against him. The friction of their clothes made Merlin moan, feeling himself start to harden. Arthur held him tight and Merlin returned the embrace, holding him closer. This he liked. Holding Arthur close, being held in return, something pleasant building in his body and sweet sounds leaving both their mouths.

“Merlin…” Arthur whispered in his ear and Merlin felt his heart skip a beat and pressed his hips up against the prince. He wanted to kiss him. He remembered the passionate way Arthur kissed lady Vivian and it made a fire burn in Merlin’s stomach. However, he couldn’t. He was here to please Arthur, not the other way.

Arthur pulled back and started undoing their trousers. Merlin tensed as he saw Arthur reach for the oil.

“Turn around.” He said and Merlin did as he was told, both of them avoiding eye-contact at all costs. Merlin held a pillow close to his chest as he got on his knees and closed his eyes tight. He shouldn’t feel this humiliated! He was doing this to help Arthur. Uther was making them both do this. If only there weren’t guards listening in at the door.

The oil helped, but he was still sore from yesterday and couldn’t help himself crying out as Arthur filled him again. This time Arthur stopped and Merlin felt the other’s thumbs caressing his back from where they held onto his hips. Merlin tried to focus on the tender act and slowly relaxed.

Arthur began to move against him and Merlin cried out again, leaning down to muffle his cries into the pillow. His sounds of pleasure again mingled with those of pain and he gripped the pillow harder. Muffling his cries he began to hear Arthur more clearly. He wasn’t as loud as Merlin, but the small sounds he made caused a fire once more to burn in Merlin’s body. The discomfort began to fade and as Merlin felt that little something building under his navel he cried out as Arthur increased the pace. Merlin could feel it. He was so close to reaching something. His magic began to thrum with excitement when once more Arthur tensed against him, holding him close, reaching that spot before Merlin and stopping his movements. Merlin whined as he felt the build up fade away and Arthur move back, collapsing beside him. Merlin shuddered as he too dropped onto his side, trying to slow down his racing heart.

“…Do you want me to go?” Merlin asked softly.

“No… it’s cold. Stay.” Arthur said and Merlin closed his eyes, bringing the blanket up to his shoulders, feeling drained and exhausted, falling asleep in seconds.

oOoOoOo

Merlin slept much better than the night before. He opened his eyes and looked at his surroundings in confusion. He felt Arthur’s chest pressed against his back, his arm hanging around his waist. At some point in the night Arthur had pulled him into an embrace and Merlin felt his heart swell pleasantly, closing his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being held so intimately. He realised he shouldn’t be thinking such things, specially since it was Arthur that was holding him, but he was feeling drained and was willing to take a little comfort from this.

Then he felt that Arthur was hard and he wished he’d left to get his breakfast already. “Merlin…” He whispered in his ear. Merlin pretended to be asleep. “Merlin.” He called again, tracing his hand down his waist. Merlin had to use every measure of restraint in him to stop himself from pressing back against Arthur. He felt Arthur move away once he believed Merlin was still asleep.

Merlin felt himself relax as Arthur got out of bed to do something. When he woke up again, it was still dark outside and Arthur was back in bed, holding him close with his ‘issue’ resolved.

It was almost physically difficult to move away with how good it felt to be warm and safe in bed, but Merlin did just that, fixing his clothes and making his way to the door. The guards were gone and Merlin was left alone to contemplate how he was feeling. He was still sore, specially since he forced himself to walk normally.

First thing he did was drop off the laundry basket and headed for the kitchens. There was the usual gossip going on in the kitchen, probably about some maid or other. Only this time, the second Merlin walked in, everyone fell silent and Merlin froze looking up at everyone. The maids avoided his eyes, some hiding amusement, others disdain.

“Morning everyone.” He said as he always did. They were always rather cold with him, considering he usurped a very high serving position out of nowhere and was mediocre at it at best in everyone else’s eyes. But this was different. They would at least be usually polite to him. This time they ignored him and Merlin felt his mouth go dry. Did they know? That he was now doing such things with Arthur? “C-cook, is this the prince’s breakfast?” Merlin asked, trying to act normal. The cook didn’t send him her usual sneer. Instead she simply nodded at the set up tray and Merlin picked it up, glancing back at the other staff members, who watched him go without a single word. Merlin ignored the unpleasant feeling that began to settle in his chest as he focused on getting Arthur his breakfast.


	3. Chapter 3

“Merlin, can you, for once, not be so absolutely useless?” Arthur snapped as Merlin struggled to remove the other’s armour.

“Sorry, sire.” Merlin said. Leon looked over amused as Merlin finally managed to take the new chest plate off. It had a strange new way of tying so Merlin took a little longer than usual. It didn’t help that his fingers were numb in the cold air of the training grounds. “This new style doesn’t seem very practical. The straps are flimsy.” Merlin said.

“And what would you know about armour?” Arthur scoffed.

“I spoke to Gwen about it when you first received the gift.” Merlin said.

“Oh, well, in that case she may be right.” Merlin rolled his eyes at that which Arthur saw and glared at him, shaking his head. “Just bring my normal chest plate.” Arthur said. Merlin got that one on in less than a minute and Arthur stormed back into the training field.

Merlin sighed, slouching where he stood.

“You should take a seat, Merlin. You’ve been standing the whole time we’ve been here.” Leon said, coming over, taking a drink from his water skin. Merlin looked surprised at him and looked down, heat creeping up his cheeks. As if he could sit down with how he was feeling.

“I’m fine, sir Leon.” Clearly the knights still hadn’t heard the rumour that the palace staff seemed to know. Most of them anyway.

“You look cold.” Leon added. Merlin shivered a little and smiled.

“It’s going to snow soon.” Merlin said. Leon looked up at the clear sky, an icy gust of wind sweeping through Merlin’s core.

“You think so? All the more reason to dress more warmly then.” Leon said and went back to train. Merlin rubbed his arms together. As if he had time to get himself anything warmer. He had money, what else was he supposed to spend it on if not himself? After sending his mother half of his earnings he’d saved the rest, since Gaius always looked after him for free. The problem was that he never had free time.

Speaking of Gaius… he hadn’t been to see the physician since they last spoke. Merlin was almost afraid to face him.

oOoOoOo

Arthur didn’t miss Merlin’s shivering. He could feel Merlin’s fingers twitching from the cold and could hear his teeth clattering while he was helping him with his armour.

He could also see him avoiding the stump he usually used as a stool. Arthur wondered why. It couldn’t be that he was hurt from what they’d… Arthur looked away. He shouldn’t think about that. It was shameful enough that he had to do it, even if Merlin insisted that it wasn’t his fault. Even if Merlin insisted that he was happy to serve. That just made Arthur feel even more vile. He didn’t want to be _served_ that way.

When training finished, Merlin prepared his bath. Arthur stepped into the water and turned to Merlin. “Get in with me.” He said. Merlin slowly began to undress and Arthur looked away. When Merlin got in with him, he heard him sigh and saw him shiver as the heat slowly seeped into his skin. “Are you in pain?” He asked.

Merlin looked at him and shook his head. “No…” He said.

“You’re lying. You _are_ in pain.” Arthur said with a frown. “Did I hurt you?”

Merlin looked uncomfortable with the question. “I’m sore, that’s all.”

“Sore?” Arthur asked confused. He’d used the oils… wasn’t that enough to stop soreness? He wasn’t horribly rough, like he’d seen once upon a time during his ‘lessons’, and Merlin sounded like he’d been enjoying it, but what did he know? He didn’t know, that was the problem. He was taught the mechanics of how to do things, he definitely wasn’t taught how to make it feel good for the man underneath. After all, that’s not what they were there for, according to anyone who’d ever spoken to him about it.

“Shall I wash your back, sire?” Merlin asked. Arthur nodded, turning his back to Merlin, letting the other wash him. Merlin’s fingers were still cold from being outside too long and Arthur looked down.

“Why did you agree to this, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“Because, as your servant I can watch your back better. I get to look out for you.” Merlin said and it almost made Arthur laugh as he turned to look back at him.

“You’re my saviour, is that it?” Arthur asked.

“Do you _know_ how many times I’ve had to save your royal backside?” Merlin asked and Arthur laughed softly.

“Good to see your sense of humour is still intact.” Arthur said and Merlin smiled, that suspicious little smile that always made Arthur suspect he was hiding something.

“Anything else, my lord?”

Arthur shook his head and lay his head back. “No, just sit here with me.” He said. “It feels like it might snow soon.” Arthur said.

“I thought so too.” Merlin said, sitting back and looking a bit more relaxed.

“I’d like for us to go to the market district this evening. There’s some items I’d like to buy.” Arthur said.

“After lunch with your father?” Merlin asked.

“Precisely.” Arthur said. “Right, lets go.” They got out of the water together. Arthur did what he could getting dressed, but Merlin was much faster than him and was done fast enough to step close and tighten his trousers, straightening out his shirt, reaching up to fix his collar. Arthur stared into Merlin’s deep blue eyes, which glanced up and locked onto his. They’d often made this kind of eye-contact before in dire situations. It had always been rather charged. Only this time, it was even more intense. Arthur began to lean in and saw a flicker of panic fill Merlin’s eyes. Arthur froze and moved away.

What was that? Why did he almost kiss Merlin? And why did the moment of fear in Merlin’s eyes terrify him so much.

“Lets go, I can’t be late.” Arthur said and made his way out the door, Merlin following just behind him.

Arthur went to sit down and watched Merlin as he went to find a jug of wine.

oOoOoOo

Merlin distracted himself from looking at the king by going to the servant table, filled with extra jugs of wine and water.

Merlin reached to grab one when the attendant smacked his hand away and then looked at his own in disgust.

“Don’t go touching everything with your filthy hands. If you want wine for the prince, just ask.” He said and passed Merlin a jug of wine that was too warm. Merlin frowned.

“This wine is warm. The prince likes his wine colder.” Merlin said reaching for another jug and resisted the urge to blast the other back when he smacked him away again, looking at him like he was the most disgusting thing he’d ever touched.

Not wanting to make a scene, Merlin walked away with the jug, waiting until he was behind Arthur’s chair to whisper the enchantment to cool the wine a little bit more. He filled Arthur’s goblet as the royal family ate.

Morgana sat to the other side of Uther on the table, Gwen just behind, helping her with anything she needed. She looked up at Merlin and smiled softly but looked away looking uncomfortable and Merlin swallowed the painful lump in his throat as he looked away.

“The guards report that you have satisfactorily buggered your manservant like I ordered.” Uther suddenly said and Morgana spat out her wine, a coughing fit ensuing as she tried to wipe away the spilt wine and rid her lungs of the beverage.

“Father!” Arthur exclaimed, horror in his voice, while Merlin wished the ground could just open up and swallow him whole. It was a stupid question to put out there, but did Uther not give a damn about another man’s pride? Certainly not a servant’s pride.

“I will remove the guard, but I expect no more ridiculous behaviour from you, Arthur.” Uther said threateningly while Morgana was still trying to remember how to breathe.

“You _ordered_ Arthur to _what_?!” Morgana whispered.

“It does not concern a lady.” Uther said.

“Then perhaps you shouldn’t have announced it at the dinning table!” Morgana yelled. “Merlin saved Arthur’s life! _Multiple_ times! Is this the gratitude he’s shown?!” She yelled.

“Do not raise your voice to your king, Morgana.” Uther threatened.

“You _disgust_ me, Uther Pendragon.” Morgana hissed and stood, storming out of the dinning room. Gwen followed her closely while Merlin tried to contain the shaking of his hands.

Merlin couldn’t help but feel as filthy as everyone thought him to be. Arthur looked up at him for a second before staring at his meal without any appetite.

“Father, I did what you asked, why humiliate me further like this?” Arthur asked.

“Because I am the king and it suits me to humiliate you the way you humiliated me by trying to get into bed with a visiting noble lady.” Uther snapped. Arthur looked like he was about to announce exactly what Merlin told him had happened but he held himself back.

“May I be excused?” Arthur asked.

“Get out of my sight.” Uther said and Arthur didn’t take long to get up. “Oh, Merlin,” Merlin flinched, turning to Uther who threw a bag of gold at him. “For your extra… services.” Merlin stared at the money and put it back down, inclining his head.

“Father!” Arthur was outraged but there was nothing he could do.

“No thank you, your majesty.” Merlin said as neutrally as he could manage. Uther’s insult was clear. He was paying him like anyone would pay a whore and Merlin wanted to let his raging magic lose on all of Camelot so they could all see that he was no one to be ridiculed like this.

Arthur continued toward the door and Merlin followed closely. “Merlin… I deeply apologise for what my father did in there.” Arthur said.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, sire. I don’t need your apology.” He said looking down.

“Let’s just go to the market and forget this unfortunate incident.” Arthur said. Merlin had no problem with that instruction. The problem was whether the other servants and the guards and Morgana and Gwen would be able to forget it.

From the secretive looks and smirks and whispers Merlin figured that wouldn’t happen. Arthur didn’t seem to notice anything, but now that Merlin was aware that the servants knew, he was hyper-aware of every look they sent him.

He was only too glad when he was out of the palace and no one looked at him judgingly. “Merlin!” Arthur snapped and Merlin looked up shocked.

“Sorry, what?” He asked as he saw Arthur holding some rabbit fur. It was pure grey with white and looked very soft.

“I asked, if you liked this.” Arthur said.

“It looks lovely.” Merlin said, reaching out to feel it.

“I’m going to need you to line some garments of mine with furs for the winter.” Arthur said, paying for a few of the furs and placing them in the basket Merlin brought with him.

“Certainly sire.” Merlin said. He watched Arthur pick up a pair of gloves, already made of the fur and turn to him.

“Try these on.” Arthur said. Merlin looked at him confused but went ahead and slipped them on. They felt amazing against his cold fingers.

“They’re nice.” Merlin said. Arthur said nothing else as he paid the man for them. Merlin took them off, placing them in the basket.

He sighed as they carried on through the market. In his urge to get out of the palace as quickly as possible he’d forgotten his money back in his chambers. It would have been the perfect chance to buy himself things!

Too late now.

As Merlin placed Arthur’s purchases on the other’s table, Arthur grabbed the gloves and looked them over. “Hmm… I don’t like them. You take them.” Arthur said.

“What? What’s wrong with them?” Merlin asked with a frown.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, Merlin, I just don’t like them.” Arthur said, going to his desk, to open up an unread scroll. “You keep them.”

Merlin stared at Arthur for a long time and then at the gloves. It clicked fairly quickly. “You bought these for _me_.” Merlin said, trying to hide his grin.

Arthur looked at him as if he was the stupidest person on the earth. “Of course I did _not_!”

“Yeah you did.” Merlin said.

“Fine, don’t take them then.” Arthur said, reaching for them and Merlin kept them out of his reach.

“No, they’re _my_ gift.” Merlin said, stepping away from Arthur’s desk.

Arthur huffed and sat himself down. “The least you could say is thank you.”

Merlin blinked at him confused. “Why? You just said they’re not a gift.” He caught the glint of fury in Arthur’s eyes and rushed to grab Arthur’s laundry, leaving before the other could catch his escape.

He found himself smiling for the first time in days as he walked down toward the laundry room. He didn’t see the guards around the corner but he was sure they saw him. They saw him and one slammed his armoured shoulder into his quite hard.

“You’re disgusting.” He heard him spit out with loathing in his voice as he passed without stopping, leaving Merlin standing there, basket and clothes on the floor while his shoulder ached painfully. It wasn’t even one of the guards that had kept watch outside Arthur’s door.


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin got to the laundry just in time. “Hello, I’ve brought Arthur’s clothes.” He said.

The women turned to him and one came to take it from him but was stopped by another. “Stop, that’s Arthur’s manservant.” One whispered.

“Oh… he’s the one?” The servant asked surprised and released a laugh. “So you’re the one prince Arthur’s using?” Merlin flinched and tried to put the basket down to walk away but another two of the servants were already there, stopping his escape.

“Such a waste, you were a pretty good catch too. You would have made a serving girl a lovely husband one day.” An older servant said.

“Who’s going to want him now? After he’s been sodomised by the prince himself?” Another said and they burst out laughing.

“Don’t you dare talk about the prince that way!” Merlin yelled.

“You’re nothing more than a toy to satisfy him. We all know where you’ll be headed when the prince eventually marries.” Another one of the girls said, shoving him with surprising strength.

Merlin tried to escape by walking around them but they didn’t let him. “Maybe he doesn’t know, he wasn’t born a servant after all.” Another said.

“Please get _out_ of my way.” Merlin said.

“Do you know, what happens to such servants afterwards? They get thrown out in the streets. No nobleman will hire you after that…”

“The only place for you is the brothel. A delicate thing like you would fetch a hefty price for whatever perverted brute decides to take you.” Said another and two of them made lewd sounds in mocking that made Merlin turn bright red, unable to believe that these women were tearing him down so viciously.

“I’ll pick up the prince’s clothes in the morning.” Merlin managed to say, pushing through them and getting out of there as quick as he could.

Those women didn’t know what they were saying. They didn’t! How dare they talk about Arthur like that? Like he were nothing more than a monster that would throw him out like nothing? Arthur understands neither of them ever wanted any of this.

But their words hurt so much. It’s what people now thought of him and that hurt more than Merlin expected.

He sobbed and stopped walking, staying in the shadows as he tried to stop the tears that followed.

Morgana turned the corner and froze seeing Merlin. Merlin turned his back to her, rushing to dry his tears. “Oh, my Lady, I didn’t see you there.”

“Merlin…” She said and grabbed his chin, making him look down at her. “I’m so sorry for what Uther’s done to you.” She said softly.

“It’s not your fault, Morgana.” Merlin said softly.

“Come… you can wash your face in my chambers, I’ve got some sugared apples in my room that you can help me finish.” She smiled. Merlin found himself smiling back.

“That’s not necessary, my lady.”

“I insist.” She said, pulling him along to her chambers. Gwen was there who looked at him surprised. Merlin wiped his face to make sure the tears were all gone. “Gwen, dear, please get Merlin some of those apples the cook made for me today.”

“Of course, my lady. Merlin, are you alright?” Gwen asked. Merlin wished he could retreat once more. “Sorry… stupid question.” She whispered looking down. “I’ll get you some apples.” She smiled.

oOoOoOo

Merlin returned to Arthur’s rooms late that night. He wasn’t even sure if he should have come. Without the guards, did Arthur want him here? But who knows if Uther had other ways of spying on them. Or maybe he lied and the guards would come by later on to listen? Now he was being paranoid but he wouldn’t put it past Uther.

Surprisingly, Arthur was still up, staring at the light of a candle as he looked like he was working on a letter.

Merlin came closer. He stopped when Arthur noticed him. “What’s that?” Merlin asked, taking it as a good sign that Arthur hadn’t kicked him out yet.

Arthur stared at the letter and shook his head. “Nothing.” He said, scrunching up the paper into a ball and throwing it in the fireplace.

Merlin frowned. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Isn’t obvious?” Arthur asked.

“Not really, sire.”

“Stop calling me that.” Arthur said. Melrin gulped as Arthur glared at him. “You’re the one always prattling about how we’re friends.” Merlin’s eyes widened a little, smiling at him.

“Whatever my prince commands, Arthur.” He said with a mock bow and the corner of Arthur’s lips seemed to twitch upward before he finally let out a relaxed smile.

“How can you be like this after all that’s happened?” Arthur asked.

“You just admitted we’re friends. Nothing could ever overshadow that!” Merlin said brightly. He didn’t miss the glimpse of embarrassment on Arthur’s eyes as he broke eye-contact.

“Honestly, you never hesitate to speak your mind up despite your station.” Arthur said, but he didn’t mean it in reproach.

Merlin leaned forward with that smirk that would either infuriate, or greatly amuse Arthur. “Do you have any idea how big your head would get if I let you believe you’re the sun on the earth?” Merlin asked.

“And yet you won’t tell me the truth when I’m hurting you.” Arthur said pointing to the bed. Merlin became flustered and looked away.

“It’s not about me, Arthur.” Merlin said.

“Why not?” Arthur challenged.

“I’m just a servant.” Merlin said.

“If you were _just_ a servant, you wouldn’t talk back to me, or challenge my decisions or be so absolutely useless at serving.” Arthur said. “So why are you so intent on serving me like _this_?” Arthur looked at the bed again and Merlin moved away.

“You think I wanted this?”

“Of course not! No man would but… you did it anyway.” Arthur said. “I’m just trying to understand.”

“I did it because I know someday you will be a great king that will bring peace to the land and make Camelot the greatest kingdom ever known. There will never be another like you, Arthur, and I intend to be here, by your side, to see that happen.” Merlin said, speaking with the utmost faith he had in the prophecy that the dragon told him. “If… I said nothing… it’s because… I’m not meant to enjoy any of it.” Merlin looked away. “There’s something you should know. I’m sorry… but Gwen knows, I tried to pretend you hadn’t actually done anything but… she knew.”

Arthur stared at Merlin and then looked away. “Of course she knows… father would never lie about something like that… who else knows?” Arthur asked.

Merlin scoffed looking away. “Half the palace staff knows… I think the guards may have told others.” He said. Arthur stood and Merlin stepped back.

“How do _you_ know that they know?” Merlin shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter.” He said.

“You will tell me, Merlin!” Arthur reached to grab his shoulder and Merlin groaned in pain. Arthur pulled his hand back looking at him shocked. “What on earth was that? I barely touched you!” Arthur said.

“It’s nothing.” Merlin insisted. Arthur didn’t accept that answer. With a strength Merlin was slowly getting to know on a personal level, Arthur grabbed his hips to turn and hold him against the desk. It took Arthur less than Merlin expected to pull off his shirt and toss it to the side.

Arthur seemed to freeze as he looked at his shoulder. “Have you even seen this?”

“I haven’t had time.” Merlin said.

“So it just happened?” Arthur demanded, eyes narrowing. “Who was it?”

“What does it matter? He’s not the only one to be cruel and he won’t be the last.” Merlin said.

Arthur stared at him and then looked away, a hint of shame in his eyes. “Because of me.” Arthur said.

“No, idiot. All because of your father so let’s just forget about it.” Merlin said. “Let’s just go to bed.” Merlin felt so tired already. Arthur took his hand and they walked to the bed.

Oh. This wasn’t what Merlin meant but he tried to gather what energy he could to put up with Arthur’s needs.

Arthur also removed his shirt and they got into bed. Merlin waited to see what Arthur would do, but other than pull a pillow under his chest and curl up for sleep, he didn’t do anything.

“No one has the right to hurt my servant, Merlin. I hope you realise that.” Arthur said with his eyes closed. Merlin pulled a pillow of his own under his chest, facing Arthur. He felt flattered that Arthur would say something so protective of Merlin and smiled softly when he realised that tonight Arthur didn’t want him to serve him in bed other than literally warming it up with his heat.

“Thank you, Arthur.” Merlin said softly, his eyes dropping shut almost of their own accord. He was so tired that sleep came for him rather quickly. His magic hummed pleasantly, sending him to sleep.

oOoOoOo

Arthur frowned in his sleep as the flicker of a candle or two woke him up. He thought they would have burned down by now. He opened his eyes and what he thought was candlelight, turned out to be small orbs of light hovering all above them. The source?

Merlin.

Merlin was still curled up under the blankets beside him, his face in a peaceful expression, looking more relaxed than Arthur had ever seen him. The magical lights would float up from the palm of his hand, which was half open. The faintest of glows came from Merlin’s skin. It would probably have been unnoticeable in daylight, but in the dark of the night it was there for all to see.

Terror pierced Arthur’s heart as he stared at the sorcerer in his bed. He reached under his pillows, his hand grabbing hold of the dagger he kept there for protection. His vision tunnelled and all he could think about was killing the sorcerer before it harmed Camelot. He raised the dagger.

“Arthur…” Merlin mumbled in his sleep. All the time they’d spent together these last year rushed to his mind and his hand trembled. Merlin frowned. “Mmh… prat.” He grumbled.

Arthur scoffed and lowered his hand. Merlin still slept, blissfully unaware of what he had just revealed to Arthur.

_“As your servant I can watch your back better.” “Do you know how many times I’ve had to save your royal backside?”_

That was how Merlin knew about the love enchantment to lady Vivian. If Arthur were to guess, it was probably Merlin who figured out how to break it.

_“I could take you apart with one blow.” “I could take you apart with less than that.”_

Arthur narrowed his eyes and found himself smirking. “Sneaky… stupid… Merlin.” Arthur whispered and lay back on the pillows, dagger put away, staring at the lights. He had to wonder why these lights were floating about. Merlin had never done that when they would sleep in the forest. He certainly didn’t do it yesterday. Something was happening because he certainly didn’t think the idiot was doing this willingly.

He looked at Merlin’s sleeping face and reached his hand over. He threaded his fingers into Merlin’s half opened hand. Would that stop the light?

Arthur watched as Merlin’s glow began to slide up his own arm and his hand began to tingle. Above their clasped hands, more light orbs formed and Arthur felt warm, like everything good in the world could be found at the end of his fingers.

 _“Merlin!”_ A roaring voice called, ringing in Arthur’s head. Something deep below the castle, down beyond the dungeons, something in chains. Merlin gasped and jumped awake, the lights vanishing. Arthur closed his eyes. He didn’t even have time to pull his hand away without being obvious.

He couldn’t see what face Merlin made when he saw their hands together, but he did feel him slip out of his hold as slowly as he could. Merlin put on his shirt again and sneaked out of the room.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Arthur threw his blankets off. He grabbed his cloak and rushed after him.


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin winced, holding his head as the dragon roared for him. He could barely concentrate on the path he was taking, his head feeling like it’s about to burst, as if he’d just performed a huge amount of magic.

Sneaking through the palace proved simple enough. Merlin knew the patrols by now and if they ever change, he’s the first to hear about it since Arthur is the one that receives those reports.

As he reached the dungeons, he leaned over the edge and whispered a sleeping spell. The guards dropped forward on the table where they’d just been playing with dice. He made sure there wasn’t anyone else behind him and made his way into the dungeons.

oOoOoOo

Arthur hid in the shadows with the stillness of a trained hunter. He heard Merlin’s distinct voice speak a spell and three thuds followed in the dungeon entrance. Merlin looked back at where they came and didn’t see him.

Arthur followed him into the dungeons. He saw the three guards out cold and rushed to their side, feeling their necks for a pulse. He pulled back and looked at where Merlin disappeared. He rushed after him down a path he’d never ventured himself. The dungeon gradually turned from smooth stone to cavern wall. He could see the light Merlin left with his torch, sneaking after him just before he turned and left him in darkness.

“Merlin!” The dragon roared loudly and this time Arthur heard its voice all around him and not just in his mind.

“What is it? It’s not exactly an ideal time for me to be coming down at nights anymore!” Merlin yelled at the beast.

Arthur slowly came up behind him, seeing a beast as large as the tallest towers of Camelot, with golden eyes and a sharp set of teeth. Merlin stood before it without fear.

“What have you _done_ young warlock?”

A warlock? What was that? Arthur frowned, trying to figure out if he’d ever heard anything about them. He’d heard the term, but no one had ever taken the time to explain the difference to him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I haven’t done anything.” Merlin said.

“You are no longer pure.”

Merlin must have been shocked to hear that because he dropped to his knees, looking winded as he looked up at the dragon. Arthur couldn’t see the expression on his face.

“How do you _know_ that?” Merlin’s voice high, and cracking at the end.

“I can sense your magic. It has changed. You have mated with Arthur.” The dragon said and Arthur tensed.

“I-I didn’t have a choice! Uther said we had to… that I had to satisfy Arthur or he’d find someone else to take my job! How can I protect Arthur if I can’t be by his side?”

“I commend you for taking your destiny so seriously, Merlin, but this time you have gone too far!” The dragon roared.

“I’d do _anything_ to protect Arthur!” Arthur felt his heart race and felt warm once more, though he frowned at why hearing Merlin say that would cause such a reaction.

“You think you are free to do as you wish, young Warlock? You are a creature of magic, you are bound by the laws of the old religion.” The dragon said.

“I barely know anything of the old religion.” Merlin said.

“Then allow me to explain, little one.” The dragon crouched on its rock. “You have lain with Arthur Pendragon under the first winter’s moon and have bound your self to him.”

“I thought Arthur and I were already… two sides of the same coin.” Merlin said.

“You are two halves of the same soul. When you came together you released a magic far more powerful than you can control right now.”

“I still don’t understand!” Merlin yelled, frustration evident in his voice.

“Your magic, being untrained, called to the triple goddess on her night and asked for your union to Arthur Pendragon. I believe you humans call it, marriage.”

Merlin scoffed and released a loud panicked laugh. “Are you telling me I married myself to Arthur?”

“It is no laughing matter, young Warlock. Your magic is too young and unruly. As long as your connection to him is not secure, your magic will get stronger and stronger until you cannot control it. You will inevitably reveal yourself to Uther Pendragon and be forced to escape.”

“I don’t want to secure the connection! If I can break it I will! Arthur loves Gwen! When she kissed him _she_ broke the love spell! She’s his true love!” Merlin insisted, forcing himself to his feet.

So that was why Gwen kissed him. Well that’s one small mystery solved. Not that it made a difference since she rejected him that very evening for very valid reasons, even if they _did_ sting.

“She may be the one he loves now, but hearts can change when you’re not with your other half.” The dragon said and Merlin shook his head. “ _Yes_ , Merlin. You must secure the connection or be forced to flee Camelot.”

“But… what does that even mean?” Merlin asked. “It can’t be valid! We’re both men!”

“The triple goddess seems to have accepted it, otherwise I would not have felt the surge of your power so strongly. It is unusual, when a creature like you is defiled it is as great a sin as killing a unicorn, it would bring great devastation to the kingdom. We can only assume that the triple goddess saw your union as pure since you belong together.”

 _Defiled._ Arthur looked down in shame. He did that to Merlin. Although the conflict still raged in his heart about the idiot lying to him.

“Don’t say that word! It makes me feel even dirtier!” Merlin exclaimed.

“I’m sorry, young Warlock. This was not meant to happen. If I was free of these chains I would let fire rain down on Uther Pendragon for committing this egregious sin.” The dragon said.

Merlin looked away. “Does Arthur need to find out about this union? Or can he be free to marry in the future?”

“He doesn’t _need_ to know.” The dragon said and its eyes flickered up to meet Arthur’s own. Arthur felt a chill down his body. Fear. Awe. “But it will cause you great pain, sealing the bond means that you give yourself entirely to him.” The dragon looked back at Merlin.

“I was born to serve Arthur. It is my destiny.” Merlin said simply. “If I don’t tie him to me by hiding the truth then… it doesn’t matter what happens to me.”

Arthur felt his hands clench into fists. Why was Merlin so loyal to him? Surely he didn’t plan to serve Arthur all his life? Didn’t he wish to fall in love? Marry? Have children?

“Then heed my words, finalize the union.”

“How?” Merlin asked.

“The answer will come to you in time.”

“That doesn’t tell me anything.” Merlin said.

“It is for the goddess to state what is left to be given. Not me.”

“Then… how do I speak to her?” Merlin asked.

“The real question is how do you get her to answer you? You can’t. She will reveal her truths when it pleases her.”

“Great! So I’m supposed to walk around Camelot with my magic out of control? Why don’t I strap myself to the pyre right now and save everyone the trouble?”

“Or you could trust your mate to help you find the answer.”

“Don’t call him that! This has all been one giant, unfortunate mess!” Merlin said. “He’s the prince! How could I have let this happen?”

“You didn’t know, the greatest sin of all, of this situation, is that a creature such as you has been left to wander the earth alone, with no one to help you grow your powers properly.”

“I have to go.” Merlin said, and Arthur got ready to turn tail and run.

“I hope that next time I see you, young Warlock, you will bring your mate with you. He _is_ kin now, after all.”

“Hah! Absolutely not!” Merlin said and turned to leave. Arthur made his retreat.

He tried to wrap his head around what he’d just heard. Most of it didn’t make sense, of course, but he could understand from context.

Merlin’s lights must have been the first sign of losing control. As for the accidental marriage? He tried not to think about that. His father’s heart would probably give out if he heard _that_ let alone that Merlin was a sorcerer. Or Warlock, whatever that was.

He made his way back to his rooms, he had to pretend he’d been sleeping this whole time after all.

He froze as he heard the guards being loud somewhere behind him.

oOoOoOo

Merlin shook his head. How could he have done this? He should have… no! This wasn’t his fault! How was he supposed to know any of this? If the goddess had something to teach him she should have come down herself and taught him!

Merlin sighed, stopping in the courtyard as he stared up at the crescent moon. “What do I do?” He whispered. Nothing but silence answered.

“Look what’s skulking around in the night.” A rough male voice said, and Merlin turned to see the guards approaching. One surprised him, grabbing his shoulders from behind.

“Don’t touch me!” Merlin said, pulling out of the painful hold, which made his bruised shoulder ache even more.

The three guards laughed. “Look, he thinks he’s the prince himself.” One said.

Another grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged his head back slightly. “You think you’re important because the prince is satisfying himself with you?” They mocked. Merlin tried to contain the pain of the other tugging his hair and someone else holding his shoulder again.

“Let go of me, I have to return to the prince.” Merlin said.

The guards laughed. “Look at these lovely gloves, how did you afford something so nice? Is the prince giving you gifts for servicing him well?” Merlin flinched, holding his hands together and close to his chest as they tried to reach for them.

“You’re so pathetic. I bet he keeps you up all night.”

“Shut up! You’re speaking about the crown prince!” Merlin yelled. He received a smack across the face for his reply and was thrown on the floor.

A boot flew to his face and Merlin shut his eyes bracing himself for the impact.

“Stop!” The boot stopped before it made contact and Merlin sighed with relief.

“Arthur…” Merlin wondered what the prince was doing out of bed. With his cloak? Was he going somewhere? Or was he looking for him?

Arthur came and pulled him up with his good arm and removed his cloak, wrapping it around Merlin’s shoulders. Merlin felt Arthur’s warmth wrap all around him.

“Merlin is my manservant. As such, he is under my protection. If anyone so much as touches a hair on his head ever again they will either find their way to the stocks, or straight to the end of my blade.” Arthur said coldly.

“Sire, we were just asking where he was going at this late hour.” One guard said.

“I know exactly what you were asking. Stay away from him or I will gladly issue a challenge to the death to _all_ those involved.” Arthur said and turned his back to them, pulling Merlin along.

Merlin felt warm as Arthur defended him so strongly.

“Where were you? I woke up and you weren’t there. I could have needed something.” Arthur said.

“Did you?” Merlin asked.

“Not the point.”

Merlin looked down trying to hide his amusement. “I just needed fresh air.” He said.

“Hmm…” That was Arthur’s only response. The walk to Arthur’s room was quiet after that. Once there, Merlin removed the cloak, moving to hang it up when he noticed it was somewhat dirty, as if Arthur had been leaning against a dirty wall.

“I’ll need to have this cleaned tomorrow.” Merlin said, placing it in the basket. He turned to find Arthur staring at him intently and a thrill went down Merlin’s navel. “Anything… _else_ I can do for you, Arthur?” He asked.

Arthur looked away at that. “No… come, lets get some sleep.” He said.

Merlin looked down and got into bed. This time, Arthur pulled Merlin’s back close to his chest. Merlin shuddered as the warmth of the other’s skin seemed into his cold body.

Despite not wanting anything that the dragon said to be real, he’d be lying if his body didn’t want Arthur to embrace him once more. It was at that moment that Merlin realised how abnormal he was. He wanted to be closer to Arthur than anyone ever.

“Arthur…”

“What is it, Merlin?” Arthur asked, his breath tickling Merlin’s neck.

“Goodnight.” Merlin mumbled. He felt Arthur pull him closer against him and Merlin smiled.

“Goodnight, Merlin.” Arthur whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin took the furs and Arthur’s jacket with him to the training grounds. He sat on the stool as he continued lining one of Arthur’s plainer coats while Arthur didn’t need anything. It had been two weeks since he saw the dragon.

Despite Arthur’s threat, the only one still nice to him was Morgana. She treated him without pity, only anger at Uther. Gwen however, didn’t know how to act around him, though she was kind to him. The guards kept their hands to themselves but still would hiss horrible things whenever Merlin passed. The maids and servants all avoided him. He had no one to talk to anymore.

His relationship with Gaius was strained, not because of Gaius, but because Merlin was too ashamed to look him in the eye.

The only one that still treated him as usual was Arthur. Merlin looked up from the lining he was working on, when everything seemed to go still. Suddenly it was as if every knight was looking at him. His eyes widened slightly, wondering why on earth they were all looking at him. Then, just like that, they stopped, looking away with judging looks and Merlin felt a chill deep in his bones.

He saw Leon approaching the weapons rack and Merlin struggled to find his voice. “Training going well, sir Leon?” Merlin managed to force out of his throat.

Leon looked at him, avoiding his eyes, smiling faintly and nodding. “Well enough, Merlin.” At least he replied to Merlin, but it didn’t change the fact that he left as quickly as possible.

The knights now knew. Merlin shifted uncomfortable, his heart racing and could feel his magic raging inside him. He was going to lose control. He shoved Arthur’s jacket in the basket and stood, rushing to Arthur’s side.

“What is it?” Arthur asked, seeing him approach.

“Please may I be excused, sire?” Merlin asked.

Arthur scoffed. “We’re almost finished, I’ll need your help when I do.”

“Please, sire!” Merlin yelled, gathering attention from others around them but Merlin didn’t care. His heart was racing and panic shone through the tone of his voice. Arthur looked at him with confused and wide eyes.

“Fine… go.” He said.

Merlin rushed back to the palace. He didn’t think about where he was going. He just got there as quickly as possible.

He realised too late he headed straight for Arthur’s chambers. Once there, he dropped to his knees and rubbed his arms, closing his eyes tight, trying to calm the raging magic within.

“Please… please stop…” Merlin whispered to himself, taking deep breaths. All he could see was the knights’ looks, Leon’s short answers, the whispers the mocking. “Stop.” Merlin shuddered.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked and Merlin turned to him horrified, his breathing erratic.

oOoOoOo

Arthur entered the room to see Merlin on his knees with a wild look in his eyes, which were glowing gold. Arthur took a deep breath and pretended he wasn’t seeing anything as Merlin got to his feet.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“I’m fine sire.” He managed to say. Arthur nodded.

“I already asked another servant to prepare the bath, since I knew it would take longer with the colder temperatures.” He said.

Merlin turned to look at the filled tub with steaming water, as if noticing it for the first time.

“Come, help me with my armour.” Arthur said. Maybe… if he got Merlin to do his usual things, his magic would calm down. But what was wrong? Why now? Maybe a hot bath will help him relax and calm down.

As Merlin took the armour off piece by piece, he could see the wild look slowly leaving his eyes, his breathing evening out, and with every accidental moment of eye contact, the magic ring of gold slowly decreased until only bright blue remained.

Once that was done Arthur reached over and for the first time, decided that he would be the one to undress Merlin. He stepped a little closer than necessary, letting his fingers trail up the other’s sides and eventually arms as he pulled off his shirt.

Merlin gasped softly at his touches and it sent a delightful current of desire running through Arthur. Merlin avoided his eyes, as if sensing Arthur’s abnormal feelings. 

“Your turn.” Arthur said, trying to contain his voice from revealing what he really wanted.  
  
Merlin reached forward and brought up Arthur’s shirt, faster than Arthur but he could still feel the accidental trace of Merlin’s fingers from time to time.

Arthur reached forward and undid Merlin’s trousers. He kept staring at Merlin, wishing for the other to meet his eyes, but Merlin didn’t. Merlin removed his trousers too and they both stepped into the bath, sighing blissfully in the water.

Arthur used the moment to return to his senses. He was not going to take Merlin again unless they were forced to or unless Merlin wanted to.

“So what happened?” Arthur asked. Merlin finally looked at him as the tense mood of before began to fade away.

“The knights know now… you should see the way they all looked at me.” Merlin whispered.

Arthur was surprised that Merlin actually answered him. “Has anyone mistreated you again?” Arthur asked.

“No. Not physically.” He said but looked away. Arthur watched him as the other seemed to go over the memories. This wasn’t the Merlin he wanted. He didn’t want to see Merlin this sad. That look on Merlin’s face should never exist. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Merlin smile. “I know what you’re doing.” Merlin said, turning to look up at him.

“What am I doing?” Arthur asked calmly.

“You don’t want to hurt me, so you hold back. You don’t have to. As the king said, I’m here to satisfy all your needs.” Merlin said. Arthur caught a glimpse of an empty expression that faded away after a second.

“I… I need to go somewhere tonight, Merlin. Will you accompany me?” Arthur asked. “You don’t have to enter the establishment with me, but it’s probably not wise that I go alone.” Arthur said.

“Where are you going?” Merlin asked, looking a little confused at the change in topic.

“It’s not important. You don’t have to come.” Arthur changed his mind. He couldn’t really admit where he was going. He was too ashamed that he even was. He passed the cloth to Merlin and they proceeded to finish washing. “But wait for me here.”

“Of course, sire.” Merlin said.

Arthur almost wanted to roll his eyes. As if Merlin wasn’t going to follow him. Better this way. At least Arthur was sure Merlin was coming out of his own accord, in a way.

oOoOoOo

Arthur wore his travelling cloak with the hood covering as much of his face as he could manage, then rode one of the more common horses they had, leaving the proud andalusian royal family breeds in their stables. He couldn’t risk being discovered for anything in the world.

Once he was clear of the castle, he took the directions given to him by one of the knights he’d gotten drunk enough to forget their conversation. Arthur had no idea how to get to the place. Even when he’d once upon a time been brought over, he was never allowed to see the way.

When he finally got there, Arthur had to take a second to gather his bearings. The brothel looked as decrepit as he remembered it. Women littered the whole street, trying to draw clients in, but Arthur knew this was not where he needed to be. He got off his horse and made his way round the back of the brothel, where he saw a handful of men, pretty men, rough-looking men, younger men than Arthur when he first came here, there weren’t as many as women, but there was definitely a selection.

Arthur showed a gold coin and one of the pretty ones approached. Arthur watched the confidence in which he carried himself, only obtained after years of faking interest to his clients. “I’m here to see…”

“I know, darling. She sent me to get you.”

“Thank you,” Arthur walked after the man, entering the establishment. They went up to the second floor, to a small looking study with its own bed. A bored looking woman was counting up money while smoking something foul.

“Ah, my lord, welcome.” The Madame knew who he was. It wasn’t the first time they’d seen each other, after all. “I’ve prepared two of my best pets to go over your education again.” She said, almost amused at the situation and Arthur felt his cheeks burn red.

“I’m here because…” But before he could complete his sentence, another man joined the pretty one and sat on the bed, across from Arthur, looking at him with interest.

“My darlings, this is a dear friend of mine. He’s acquired himself a manservant to please him and wants to be reminded how to do it properly.” The Madame said.

Arthur tried to find words to explain himself further, but he wasn’t used to talking about such things so he just nodded.

It was almost as horrifying as the first time he was here. The Madame would go over what the top man was doing, while the one below cried out beneath him. Arthur’s stomach churned as he watched the bottom man for the first time. Hands clenched into fists, eyes blank and unseeing, face twisting in pain from time to time. Was this what he’d put Merlin through? He almost felt sick.

“Stop!” Arthur finally exclaimed.

“What’s wrong, my lord?” The Madame asked.

“I don’t want to know the mechanics… I want to know… how to make my manservant… enjoy it.” He said, looking up to see the two prostitutes glance at each other confused, while the Madame laughed.

“My boy, what does it matter?”

“It matters to me!” Arthur said fiercely.

“You’ve come to a brothel… to learn how to make love?” The bottom prostitute asked and the top scoffed, looking away as he tried to hide the laughter.

“Make love?” Arthur asked.

“You won’t find that here, my boy. My darlings are things to be used and gained pleasure from.” Arthur caught the two of them flinch at those words but none argued, acceptance in their frames. “Just as your manservant will be when your father has you marry and you send him our way. 

Arthur felt cold all of a sudden, as he turned to her very slowly, rage coursing through his veins.   
  
“What did you say?” He whispered.

“I… my lord… it’s what happens to all servants… it’s the only job they can obtain after being used in such a way.” She said.

“Wh-what makes you think I’m ever sending my manservant away?” He yelled.

“Pressure from your father, for one. Pressure from your wife second.” The Madame said.

“I would _never_ send him away! He is my most loyal servant and friend. I would rather die than let anything like that happen to him!” Arthur said passionately.

“Oh, you pathetic man.” The bottom prostitute said and Arthur snapped his head to meet a look full of hatred. “Such pretty words, I’m sure he’ll appreciate your empty promises. I appreciated such promises once too. ‘I’ll never send you away, you’re a good friend, when I marry you’ll continue as my servant’ is that what you’ll tell him? It’s what most of us have been told.”

“Well, I’m sorry that happened to you, but it won’t happen to my servant.” Arthur said.

“You’ll get rid of him and he’ll be brought over and he’ll get fucked until he can’t feel anything anymore. You think it feels good? It never feels good. Not even when my old master would embrace me. What kind of man wants to be taken like that? It’s not natural.” Arthur shook his head. A voice kept telling him to get out of there. This wasn’t the place he needed to be. But he couldn’t. He looked at the prostitute and all he could see was Merlin’s face filled with hate and eyes that looked like they’d been empty for many, many years. In the bath he glimpsed a similar emptiness that flickered into Merlin’s eyes for a second and it struck Arthur like an arrow to his chest. He felt his eyes burn and his vision blur. The man seemed to snap out of his enraged rant and looked at him with some worry and then fear.

“I see I’m in the wrong place.” Arthur said and stood, handing over some gold. “I apologise for the trouble.” Arthur turned and left. He got out of there as fast as he could. He tried to control his breathing and blink the blurriness away.

Up ahead he could see a horse leaving towards the castle. He would bet anything that it was Merlin making his way back. He looked up at the moon, which was beginning to hide itself behind dark heavy clouds. Snow began to fall and Arthur climbed onto his own horse, heading back to the palace as fast as he could.

oOoOoOo

Merlin gasped as he threw his shoes and shirt to the side and ran toward the bed. He tried to calm his breathing. Why was Arthur in a brothel? That’s why he was here! To serve him! Why was the idiot making such a dangerous trek when he had Merlin right here in his bed? Not that he was there for long. He looked like he was running when he left the place.

Merlin jumped up as Arthur slammed his door shut and entered the room. “A-Arthur? What the-?” Arthur stood before him, looking seconds away from tears as he just looked at Merlin. “Ar-”

“Undress…” Arthur ordered and Merlin gulped. What the hell happened? He reached down to undo his trousers but Arthur came round, pushing him onto his back, reaching down and pulling off his trousers himself.

“What’s wrong, Arthur?” Arthur didn’t answer as he climbed on top of him and caressed his cheek, shocking Merlin into silence. Arthur’s eyes flicked to his mouth then continued to lean down, pressing their lips together. Merlin felt something deep inside him celebrate with enthusiasm and reached up to pull Arthur closer, kissing him back with as much hunger as the other was showing.

“Merlin… undress me.” He whispered. Arthur made no move to get back up so Merlin reached down and began to take the other’s shirt off, shuddering at the intensity with which Arthur was looking at him. When his shirt was off and Merlin reached down to undo his trousers, Arthur leaned down and began to taste his neck, making Merlin squirm beneath him.

It was so different. Arthur seemed to take his time with him, while also radiating desperation to do so much more. He caressed his body and followed his touch with his lips, making Merlin groan underneath him. A breathtaking kiss after, Arthur looked down at him.

“Merlin… I want you to enjoy this.” Arthur said. “Tell me what to do.”

Merlin opened his mouth and closed it again, unable to speak for a few seconds. “I don’t know, Arthur.” Merlin admitted. Arthur reached down, wrapping his hand around Merlin making Merlin’s face instantly hot and he looked away embarrassed.

“Does this feel good?” Arthur asked, moving his hand, making Merlin shudder at the feeling.

“A-Arthur, you don’t have too… nnhh.”

“I don’t give a damn what I have to do or not.” Arthur almost growled into his ear making Merlin shudder. He could feel the pressure building slowly at the base of his stomach. Arthur reached for the oil and Merlin started turning around. “No.” Arthur held his arm and turned him onto his back once more. “Let me see your face.” Arthur whispered.

Merlin nodded, shuddering at the feeling of the oil. He groaned as his body welcomed Arthur and he wrapped his arms around him, holding him close as they began to rock together. Merlin moaned loudly, everything more pleasant than before. There was still a burning discomfort but it was easily overlooked amongst everything else. The fire in Arthur’s eyes just made him feel alive. They kept their gazes connected as they embraced each other.

Merlin felt that pressure building and building until he couldn’t hold back his cries. It seemed Arthur understood what he wanted as he moved faster. The pressure kept building and building until it finally snapped and Merlin cried out, arching his back, making Arthur cry out and reach the same point.

Merlin shuddered, relaxing completely beneath his prince, feeling the wetness on his stomach as Arthur collapsed onto him, holding him tight against him. Merlin couldn’t see his face right now but he could feel a deep sadness in Arthur’s heart and pulled him close against him.

“Arthur.” He whispered, reaching one hand to pet his golden locks. They were like that for a good while. Merlin almost thought Arthur had fallen asleep on him. Eventually he pulled back and they cleaned up. They put their trousers back on and sat on the bed, looking at each other uncertainly until Merlin smiled at him and Arthur smiled back, almost with relief, pulling him close as they curled up under the blankets together.


	7. Chapter 7

They both lay on their sides, facing each other, blankets up to their shoulders, lying close enough to feel each other’s warmth, their legs tangled already.

“What happened?” Merlin finally asked, looking at Arthur’s distant expression. They were both tired, and yet Merlin could see that Arthur looked like he didn’t expect sleep to come.

“I went to a brothel.” Arthur admitted and Merlin was surprised that Arthur answered him.

“Why?”

“I wanted to learn… how to make this whole experience… at the very least enjoyable for you.” Arthur said. Merlin smiled at the way Arthur slowed down his words when he was embarrassed or uncertain of what to say or both, as was the case now.

“I mean… I’m not complaining but… again, why?” Merlin asked. Arthur looked at him for a few seconds longer than usual but Merlin met his gaze head-on and it was Arthur who ended up looking away.

“The crown prince doesn’t have to explain his reasoning to anyone, Merlin.” Arthur said simply. “Not that it helped, it was a nightmare just like last time.” He seemed to recall something that haunted him.

“What is it?” Merlin asked.

Arthur reached to him and placed his hand on his arm, giving it a firm squeeze and that fierce look he was capable of making. “I swear to you that I will never send you away.” Arthur said. “No matter what.”

Merlin wondered how true that would be when the prince learned about his magic and looked away. “As if you could survive a day without me.” Merlin teased.

“I’m sure I can find someone skilled enough to stumble over their own two feet in due time.” Arthur answered back and Merlin laughed. Idiot Arthur, if only he knew how much he did for him.

“Putting up with you is an art form, not a skill.” Merlin said. Arthur rolled his eyes at him.

“Shut up, Merlin.”

“Go to sleep, Arthur.”

“Yes, sire.” Arthur said sarcastically and they both chuckled as they closed their eyes to sleep.

Arthur’s arm rested on Merlin’s hip, their legs remained tangled and in the end they ended up curled up in each other’s arms for no reason whatsoever.

For Merlin, it was like being wrapped in a cocoon of his own magic. Warm, safe, and impenetrable. For Arthur? Merlin didn’t know.

oOoOoOo

Arthur woke up to the feeling of Merlin moving away from him and he frowned, pulling Merlin back up against him.

“Don’t go. Your crown prince is cold.” Arthur mumbled half asleep.

“I know it’s cold, you turnip. I’m going to light your fireplace and get you some breakfast.” Merlin said either genuinely annoyed or sarcastically amused but Arthur didn’t have the willpower to open his eyes to figure out which was true.

He heard the fire start far too quickly to have been done without magic and soon the door clicked behind Merlin as he left.

Once Merlin was gone he couldn’t really get back to sleep so he took a deep breath and went to the window, looking down at the courtyard. His eyes waited to catch a glimpse of Merlin. Arthur scoffed at his own behaviour. What was wrong with him? Magic or not, Merlin was still his idiot manservant. Even if it seems like he does save his life now and again.

He looked to the side, seeing the finished fur-lined coat. Arthur picked it up, inspecting it up and down, looking at the careful stitching. It was one of his plain coats.

“Here’s breakfast!” Merlin announced placing the plate on the table. Arthur looked at him and brought the coat over. “Uh… what’s wrong? Didn’t I stitch it right?” Arthur didn’t answer as he took off the other’s thin leather jacket, feeling the coolness of the other’s arms over the other’s shirt.

Arthur put the jacket on Merlin. “It suits you better.” Arthur said.

Merlin tried to take it off but Arthur held it in place. “Too bad servants don’t wear fur.” Merlin said.

“My manservant will wear what pleases me.” Arthur said simply.

“Are you seriously giving me the coat?” He asked in disbelief.

“I’ll find your shivering very annoying otherwise.” Arthur said and went to have breakfast. “Have you had breakfast?” Arthur asked as Merlin proceeded to make the bed and organise the room.

“I had something.” Merlin said. Arthur frowned but kept having his food. At what time could he possibly have had his breakfast?

He picked up one of the sausages, eyeing it suspiciously.

“Merlin, get over here.” Arthur said. Merlin looked up from where he was fluffing up the pillows. “Do these sausages taste strange to you?” Arthur asked. Merlin frowned and ate the one that was offered.

“Mmh… I don’t think so.” He said.

“Try this one, I feel like it has a strange aftertaste.” Arthur said. Merlin frowned and tried the second one, a frown of concentration on his face.

“I think you’re imagining things. They taste great.” Merlin said and Arthur sighed.

“Perhaps. Carry on, I need you to get me ready for training.” Arthur said and Merlin walked back to what he was doing, while Arthur drank his water, trying to hide a smirk.

Arthur gave Merlin the morning off while he was training and Merlin seemed to brighten with gratitude.

oOoOoOo

Merlin made his way to Gaius’ chambers and entered quietly, watching the physician grinding some herbs on the pestle. He glanced up to meet Merlin’s eyes.

“Need any help?” Merlin asked softly. Gaius smiled.

“Plenty of chores to do. How about you do my deliveries while I go gather more willow bark?” Gaius asked. Dread filled Merlin as he pictured himself going to the lords and ladies of the court to deliver things. He somehow felt that with the knights ticked off the list, it was only a matter of time before everyone in court discovered his extra service to Arthur.

“No, no, I’ll gather the bark.” Merlin said.

“Are you sure? You might be late for the prince’s lunch.” Gaius said.

“I’ll be quick.” Merlin promised.

“Very well then. At least you’re dressed warmly.” Gaius said eyeing Merlin’s coat and gloves knowingly.

“I lined the coat.” Merlin said shrugging.

“I take it Arthur purchased the furs?” Gaius said as Merlin grabbed the herb basket.

“And I’m very grateful.” Merlin said putting the cloak over everything.

“Merlin… I’m sorry. I thought… Arthur would not go through with it.” Gaius said. Merlin looked up at him and smiled sadly.

“It gets worse. The dragon says I accidentally married myself to Arthur before the triple goddess.” Merlin said. “Until the union is finalised… I may start losing control of my powers.”

“You… _what_?” Gaius said horrified.

“It’s fine, I just have to complete the union and make sure Arthur never hears anything about it. He’ll be free to marry.” Merlin said.

“Merlin… such unions are sacred. If one party is dishonest and pursues someone else… the innocent party will feel unimaginable pain.” Gaius said. Merlin looked down and shrugged.

“I’ve already accepted that there will never be anyone for me. As for Arthur… I’ll endure what needs to be endured for him to live happy and be the king I know he will become.” He said.

Gaius looked sceptical at him. “Merlin… your loyal friendship is bordering into something much greater... something that will indeed cause you unimaginable pain. You can’t let the current situation fool you. Arthur is obeying his father. Nothing more.” He said.

Merlin gulped and looked down, thinking about Arthur sneaking off to the brothel just to try and learn how to make him enjoy the whole thing. Maybe it was just so he wouldn’t feel as guilty.

“And these gifts send entirely the wrong message. You should have refused.” Gaius said and Merlin held the coat closer.

“I tried.”

“Not hard enough. I heard that you refused Uther’s gold, but these gifts are the same thing.” Gaius said. Merlin almost bristled with rage.

“Arthur is not paying me!” Merlin said horrified. “I mean… beside my usual salary…” He mumbled looking down, conflicted as he tried to figure out what it all meant. He looked up to see Gaius’ worried expression and clenched his hands into fists. “I should go, Gaius, or I really will be late.” He turned and left to collect the willow bark.

oOoOoOo

Arthur finished training early. He got another servant to undo his armour before making his way to the dungeons. The guards paid the crown prince no mind and after he was out of sight, he made his way down to the caverns deep below.

The dragon was nowhere to be seen. He looked around but the light of his torch didn’t go far enough to see. “Great Dragon! I’ve come to speak with you.” Arthur said.

“Bold of the son of my captor to come and speak with me.” He heard a voice and soon the gush of wind moving as the dragon dropped down, landing on the mound of stone. “Tell me why I shouldn’t just burn you to a crisp where you stand?” Arthur let his hand rest on the hilt of his sword and the dragon laughed. “Lets see how long your sword can withstand my fire.”

Arthur took a deep breath. The dragon was right.

“Like you said… we are kin now.”

A joyous rumble of laughter erupted from the dragon’s throat. “Indeed. What I would not give to see Uther’s face when he hears those words. It would _almost_ make up for the butchering of my kind.”

“The dragons were threatening the peace of Camelot. Chaos ran rampant through the land back then.” Arthur defended his father. “My father did what had to be done.”

“I will forgive those words because you were not there. I will forgive you because you simply were not educated on the truth.” The dragon said.

“Well… I’m here. What _is_ the truth?” Arthur asked. The dragon narrowed its eyes at him and got closer.

“Legends have foretold that you, Arthur Pendragon, are the once and future king of Camelot, destined to return peace and magic to the land of Albion. This task is not one you can complete without the chosen child of the triple goddess herself, Merlin.”

“ _Merlin_? Are you saying that Merlin is some kind of… sacred being?” Arthur scoffed.

“Merlin was put on this earth by the triple goddess herself as a gift to you, Arthur, to aid you in your quest.” The dragon got angry then. “However, nowhere in any of the prophecies has there been a single mention of you defiling a sacred creature such as him and ending up bound in marriage!”

“I did _not_ want to force Merlin into anything!” Arthur said defensively.

“And yet, you did.”

Arthur gasped at a loss for words. “I realise that… now. But he insisted he wanted to remain my servant, and how could I disobey the king?”

“You are so desperate to gain your father’s approval, when it was he who signed your mother’s death sentence, it was he who murdered millions of innocents in his purge, brought precious noble breeds to extinction. It is Uther Pendragon who stands in the way of your destiny. You were born to be king. Uther Pendragon is your enemy.”

“Why should I believe you? You’re a prisoner in my father’s dungeon. You have magic and are trying to turn me against my father. You’re an enemy of Camelot!” Arthur yelled.

“And have I not good reason to hate Uther?”   
  
Athur said nothing to that and looked down. “What happened during the purge?”

“I believe, more important is what led to it.” The dragon said. “Your father was at war with what is now Cenred’s kingdom. He sent his good friend Gorlois to war, a war that took a long time. Your father became infatuated by his friend’s wife, the lady Vivienne who was at the time, carrying Gorlois’ child. A young girl was born, the pride of her mother. She named her Morgause.”

“…Morgause… is Morgana’s sister?” Arthur said horrified.

“Uther took advantage of Vivienne’s longing to see her husband and asked his court sorcerer, Nimueh, to make him look like his friend. Your father snuck to his friend’s home and pretended to be Gorlois, where he lay with lady Vivienne cloaked in a lie. He left in the morning without explanation.”

Arthur looked at him ashen, shaking his head, feeling almost sick. “My father would never… how would you even know?” Arthur whispered.

“Lady Vivienne was with child once more. She soon realised her husband had not been the one to visit her, horrified by her betrayal, and terrified of what her jealous husband would do, lady Vivienne asked the royal physician, Gaius, to smuggle Morgause away and give her to her teachers, high priestesses of the old religion.”

“Morgana’s mother had magic?” Arthur felt like his mind was taking too long to register everything he was being told.

“Oh yes, and your father knew. Back then, a select few of lords and ladies openly practiced magic.” The dragon tilted its head, looking at Arthur intently. “Morgana was born to lady Vivienne. When Gorlois finally returned from war two years later, he was told the child simply had stunted growth. It saved lady Vivienne then, but Uther Pendragon already knew who fathered the dark haired child that Gorlois proudly presented to him.”

Arthur felt out of breath. “Morgana is my sister.” He whispered.

“He’d already seen the threat to the throne and asked Nimueh to find any way to get his wife Ygraine swollen with child. She warned him, there would be a price to pay, but Uther Pendragon demanded she do whatever it took. Nine months later you were born and the queen died. When Uther realised she was the price to pay, it was too late, and he set off the purge in a vengeful swing. Magic was outlawed. Lady Vivienne was the first to plead against him. She was the first to be sent to the pyre. Convenient, wasn’t it?”

“No! My father wouldn’t have… he… tell me it’s not true!” Arthur yelled. Was the purge just a massive way of Uther destroying all evidence of his sins?

“The evidence is somewhere, if you care to find it.” The dragon said. Arthur had no words to say to that and the dragon continued. “The dragon lords came next, my noble children were lured, one by one, murdered to hide one man’s fear of his sins, fear of a power he could not control.”

“What Morgause said… what my mother told me… that was all true?” Arthur asked.

“The dead _can_ be brought back for brief periods of time. Manipulating them and their words is impossible.”

Arthur took a deep breath and shook his head. “I feel so lost… what on earth am I to do with this information?” Arthur demanded.

“If it makes you not follow Uther Pendragon with blind faith, then it’s good enough for me.

“I must go.” Arthur said, turning his back to the beast. He left as quickly as his legs could carry him, rage at his father’s hypocrisy burning in his veins. First of all… he had to find Morgana. He would tell her the truth.


	8. Chapter 8

Arthur knocked and waited for Gwen to open the door.

“Arthur.” She said surprised, smiling that gentle smile that would always make Arthur’s heart skip a beat. A conflicting emotion when he remembered he was technically already married through an ancient magical rite.

“Guinevere, I’m hoping to speak to Morgana, if possible.”

“Of course, Arthur, I’ll ask her.” She opened the door and entered. “My lady, it’s Arthur, he wishes to speak with you.”

“You may tell him he doesn’t need to show his face to me outside of court ever again.” Morgana was heard inside and Arthur rolled his eyes, entering anyway.

“Thank you Gwen, I need this conversation to be private.” Arthur said and Gwen looked at him confused before doing a quick curtsy and leaving.

Arthur watched Morgana sit, seething in rage at his blatant disregard for what she wanted. She was behind her desk, reading a book that she put down.

“I have nothing to discuss with the likes of you. What you did to Merlin, that has no forgiveness.” She hissed. Arthur felt a pang to his chest and looked away for a brief moment.

“Morgana, if there’s anything I regret most in this world is how I’ve hurt Merlin, but I’m making sure to never hurt him again.” He said.

“You follow Uther’s order like a dog. He certainly trained you well.” Morgana said hatefully.

“Morgana, please, I have something important to discuss with you. If it helps you listen, at all, it has made fa… _Uther_ Pendragon’s faults all the more clear to me.” Arthur said. At that Morgana looked at him for a long time before nodding. Arthur came to sit before her and let his elbows rest on the table as he pondered how to tell her.

“Well?” She pushed.

Arthur took a deep breath. “We both have the misfortune of sharing the same father. You are my half-sister.” Arthur said. She stared at him, looking like she was fighting anger and amusement, not knowing on which to settle for.

“And who told you that?” She asked.

“The great dragon underneath the dungeons.” Arthur said plainly. “Your mother was burned at the pyre for practicing magic even though she learned before the great purge. Your sister was sent away to be trained by high priestesses when your mother realised she had been tricked into lying with a man that was not her husband.”

Morgana’s amusement faded away bit by bit until she was only glaring at Arthur. “He killed my father too, well… Gorlois. His best friend, he sent him to a battle promising reinforcements that never arrived.” She said. “Too many coincidences to forgive, don’t you think?”

Arthur nodded. “I am so sorry, Morgana, for what he’s done… and… for letting him order me into the same crimes he committed so long ago.” He whispered looking down in shame.

“No… Arthur. You are nothing like Uther.” Morgana reached out and held his hand.

“Morgause is your sister.” Arthur said.

“I know.” She said softly looking down. “She told me. Everything else? I’m not sure she knows. Or maybe she does, who knows. I’m sure she doesn’t trust me entirely, the way you have.” Morgana said softly and reached to hold Arthur’s hands, giving them a firm squeeze.

“I don’t know what to do, Morgana.” Arthur whispered. “Everything he’s ever said, about honour, magic, strength, they’re all lies.”

“There’s nothing we can do, he’s the king.” Morgana said and Arthur looked away.

“I refuse to believe his lies any longer, or act according to them.”

“What will you do?” Morgana asked.

“I don’t know.” He said. “I will bring magic back to the kingdom… but I’ll have to think on how to do it.”

“Morgause could help.” Morgana said smiling. Arthur wasn’t certain.

“We have to be careful, Morgana. Not everyone with magic is evil, but there have been far too many seeking revenge against all of Camelot. My duty is still to protect the kingdom and its people.” Arthur said. “Let’s not be rash… we must think this through carefully, lest we end up on the chopping block for treason.”

Morgana nodded. They both stood, as they had to go to lunch with Uther. Morgana smiled at him. “I used to think I was alone in the world… now, within one season I’ve obtained a sister and a brother.”

Arthur’s heart swelled as she said that. “Even with a father… I always felt so alone.” He smiled as he realised when that changed. “Until Merlin came…” He looked down. “Now I have you… sister.” He said the last word with difficulty and Morgana beamed, wrapping her arms around him. Arthur held her back just as strongly.

The door opened and Gwen came in, freezing as she saw them hug like that. She curtsied, keeping her eyes down. “My lord and lady, it’s almost time for lunch.” She said.

“Thank you, Gwen, we’ll be right there.” Morgana said and Arthur offered her his arm, which she took. They walked to the dinning room together, holding each other up as they faced their father with a forced smile.

oOoOoOo

Merlin hurried as he made his way through the castle. He was late. He left the bark with Gaius, running out before his mentor could apologise for earlier. Then he had to make his way to Arthur’s rooms, to change out of his very warm jacket, since it was probably going to be far too warm in the banquet hall with it on. Then after serving Arthur he had to come here and sweep and scrub all the floors and then… well, he’d think of that later, first he had to get to the banquet hall.

Arthur was looking deeply annoyed by the time he came in and Merlin made his feet move faster. He took a jug of wine and went to pour into Arthur’s cup. Arthur grabbed his neckerchief and pulled him closer. “Where the hell were you?” Arthur demanded.

“Apologies, sire. I was helping Gaius. Took too long.” Merlin said.

“You’re telling me the truth?” Arthur asked with narrowed eyes. “No one slowed you down?” He asked. Merlin looked at him a little surprised.

“No… I’m fine Arthur.” Merlin said softly. Arthur was worried about him? Arthur let go of the neckerchief and Merlin was able to stand back, trying to process Arthur’s actions.

Merlin felt his stomach tighten with hunger and sighed, looking at the food longingly. He couldn’t wait for this to be over so he could go grab his meal. 

Arthur looked much less miserable now than he did before. He would keep leaning over and whispering to Morgana and they would both break into a smile and sometimes laugh at whatever secret joke they had amongst themselves. It was a strange sight but it made Merlin happy to see Arthur somewhat… carefree for once.

He smiled and looked away, only to see Uther with a serious and worried expression looking at Arthur and Morgana’s interactions. What on earth did he have to worry about? Uther glanced at Merlin and glared at him before returning to his meal.

When he made it to the kitchens he pretended he didn’t notice the looks the maids were giving him.

“Hello ladies, anything left over for lunch?” He asked casually. The young ones giggled, appreciating him calling them ladies and the elder ones glared at the young ones. The cook assembled a quick meal for him that consisted of a chicken thigh, bread and cheese. “Wow, thanks cook.” Merlin said, sitting with the girls that had smiled at him, eating the food.

“Here, better to have you drink this than have it thrown away.” One of the other maids said and Merlin thanked her. It wasn’t the first time he popped into the kitchen for a last minute meal, but it was definitely the first time since everything that happened. But the girls were giving him some hope that things would return to normal some day.

“Thank you.” Merlin said, drinking the half-cup of wine with the meal. The younger maids didn’t talk to him, but even back when things were normal they didn’t have much to say to each other. When he finished the maids took the plate and cup away. Merlin thought the wine tasted a tad bit different than usual, but didn’t pay it any mind with how hungry he’d been.

With a full stomach and a lighter heart, he took on his chores with determination. Arthur was behind the desk working on a speech, while Merlin cleaned up his rooms.

“What’s got you in such a cheery mood?” Arthur asked after a while.

“I think the kitchen maids are starting to come round. The younger ones even smiled at me today and one of them even gave me some leftover wine to have my lunch with.” Merlin prattled on.

“Well… that’s good.” Arthur said and returned to his speech writing. After they were both done with their respective chores, Arthur asked him to come on a brief hunting trip to the forest behind the castle.

They went on foot, not bothering with the horses for the short trip. Arthur carried the crossbow and merlin the rope for any catch they could get. At this time of year, with the snow, the best they could hope for was some rabbits. The deer usually went deeper into the forest at this time. Merlin tried looking around as he always did, even if he didn’t really enjoy the sport that Arthur loved so much. But Arthur seemed more interested in just talking.

“How’s your mother been?” Arthur asked.

“Oh, she… she’s been doing well, no more bandits mentioned in her letters.” Merlin said. “She always asks about you, making sure I’m doing my job properly.” Merlin joked.

“Do you miss it? Ealdor?” Arthur asked. Merlin looked at him, meeting the other’s bright blue eyes and shaking his head.

“Not anymore.” He said softly. “I miss my mother, surely, but… not the village.”

“You never had a girl you were interested in?” Arthur asked.

“Me? I… not in Ealdor…” Merlin thought about Freya. He looked down.

“There _is_ someone.” Arthur said.

“No, I mean, yes there _was_ someone, but not anymore.” Merlin said.

“What happened?” Arthur asked.

“She… was cursed. Her curse led to her death. I didn’t know her for long but… she knew my _faults_ and accepted me for them. I suppose… I’ve never had anyone else who’d ever done that for me.” Merlin said. Arthur stayed quiet and Merlin looked up to see him looking at him.

“What kind of faults?” He finally asked. Merlin looked away. Of course he meant magic, but how was he to say that?

“It doesn’t matter.” Merlin said. They walked in silence, the snow crunching beneath their feet. Beneath _his_ feet. Wait, Arthur had stopped? He turned around, only to have his face pelted with a handful of snow.

“Don’t look so sad, it doesn’t suit you.” Arthur said, grabbing another bunch of snow and sending it his way. Merlin dodged this time and let a smile break through his lips. He grabbed his own clump of snow and sent it straight for Arthur.

A war ensued with the two of them pelting each other with snowballs, Arthur through sheer skill and Merlin discretely using his magic.

Out of ammunition, Merlin knelt down to prepare more clumps of snow, assuming Arthur was far behind his own tree. A shadow loomed over him and he looked up to see Arthur holding a giant collection of snow with both his hands, almost as big as a boulder.

“Do you surrender?” Arthur asked.

“I surrender!” Merlin said, holding his hands up defensively. Arthur laughed and let the snow boulder drop to the side, extending his arm for Merlin to take. Merlin took it. Arthur pulled him up. They stood very close, trying to catch their breath. It started to dawn on Merlin what a silly thing he’d just done with the prince and they’d both done it naturally.

Arthur’s eyes flickered down to his lips and Merlin’s heart skipped as Arthur reached to cup his cheek, leaning in. Their lips pressed together and Merlin gasped softly, reaching up to hold onto Arthur’s coat as he kissed Arthur back. He didn’t stop to think on why Arthur was kissing him. It just felt too good to stop. “Merlin…” Arthur whispered his name like it was a lifeline and Merlin leaned in to kiss him once more, savouring the contrast of Arthur’s warm mouth against the cold of the air. Everything begun to spin.

“A-arthur… I’m getting dizzy.” Merlin said.

Arthur pulled back amused. “That good, was it?” He teased but worry seemed to settle on his face as Merlin didn’t answer. Merlin leaned against him, head spinning for a few solid seconds before his mind settled. “Merlin?” Arthur asked, cupping his face, looking at him all over. “You look so pale. We should return.” Arthur said.

“But we didn’t catch anything.” Merlin said.

“Who cares about that?” Arthur scoffed and pulled him along. But Merlin felt much better already, they could have stayed but Arthur insisted otherwise.

Arthur took him straight to Gaius, who checked him all over. “You are quite pale. Have you been eating well?” Gaius asked.

“I have, I’m fine, really.” Merlin said. “Didn’t I say the kitchen maids gave me a really nice lunch?” Merlin told Arthur who nodded.

“You also said they gave you wine.” Arthur said.

“You think they could have slipped something in it?” Gaius asked Merlin. Merlin opened his mouth to deny it but then he remembered that the wine _had_ tasted strange.

“I… don’t know…” Merlin said.

“I’ll ask the staff.” Gaius said. “To make sure it’s not anything harmful.”

“Thank you, Gaius.” Arthur said, a hand on Merlin’s shoulder the entire time. Merlin noticed Gaius glancing at the hand more than once but pretended he hadn’t noticed.

“I would advise you both to get into some dry clothes. You’re both soaked and it’s a cold winter this season.” Gaius said.

“We’ll do just that, Gaius, thank you.” Arthur said and Merlin stood, following Arthur out of the room.

Once in Arthur’s rooms, Merlin stoked the fire and Arthur placed his shirt near the fireplace, where the heat could dry it faster. “Come on, Merlin, physician’s orders, we have to dry our clothes.” He said.

Merlin began to undress, very conscious of the way Arthur was looking at him.

“We should get in bed, to keep warm.” Arthur suggested with mock innocence that send a thrill down Merlin’s back. It did feel nice to lie down after running around all day. Lying naked with Arthur under his bed sheets. His face filled with heat. He definitely wasn’t pale anymore.

“Anything else, sire?” Merlin asked, looking at him.

“One more thing.” Arthur said and leaned in to kiss him softly. “There. Now rest, until we know what they put in that wine you should rest more, specially with the banquet tonight.” Arthur said. Merlin wanted to argue but sleep did sound great. He closed his eyes and fell into a pleasant nap, while Arthur watched over him.


	9. Chapter 9

As time for the banquet approached, Arthur became impatient. Gaius hadn’t showed up yet. He watched Merlin sleep, with a peaceful expression on his face. He frowned as he stared at him, taking a few minutes to try and answer the question of his feelings.

Maybe Merlin had enchanted him? It didn’t make sense, but it made less sense that the flutter in his chest every time Merlin smiled was a genuine emotion. Arthur had never even considered such a thing to be possible between two men. The same flutter of infatuation that he’d felt with a few women growing up. Maybe he’d just never noticed it before, or maybe after being so intimate with Merlin, there simply was no way of keeping such feelings suppressed.

He leaned in and stole a peck to the lips. Merlin didn’t stir, reminding Arthur of what those maids had done. He got out of bed and got dressed in his now dry clothes, taking his time to tie his trouser ties properly without Merlin’s help. He slipped his boots on and glanced at Merlin one last time before making his way to Gaius’ chambers.

Surprisingly, Gaius was passing his fingers through several books, looking for something.

“Gaius? Did you figure out what Merlin had been slipped?” Arthur asked. Gaius looked up looking serious.

“I’m afraid not, sire. The maids merely laughed in my face, the _nerve_! One, Evangelie, said, and I quote, ‘it’s what he deserves’” Gaius said.

“Is that so?” Arthur said slowly. “Thank you, Gaius, I’ll be right back.” Arthur marched straight to the kitchens, trying to cool down the fire in his veins.

He entered the kitchen slowly, his eyes roaming the space, pinning down all the maids present at the moment. The food was all prepared and the front-line servants were making their trips to and from the banquet hall, taking the succulent dishes with them.

“Your royal highness!” The cook said surprised, making everyone turn their attention to him and give a bow.

“I’m looking for Evangelie.” Arthur said pleasantly. The maid in question flinched and looked up, nervous.

“Th-that’s me, my Lord.” She must have been around Arthur’s age, probably a couple of years older.

“Excellent, the woman I’m looking for. I need to know what you drugged my manservant with when he had lunch.” He said with a pleasant smile. She paled considerably.

“M-my lord?”

“There’s no use denying it, Gaius already told me what you said, what was it? ‘It’s what he deserves?’” Arthur crossed his arms over his chest. “Now tell me, why would my manservant deserve to be poisoned?”

“P-poisoned? No! We wouldn’t! We just wanted to tease him a bit! The potion was just meant to have him make a fool out of himself at the banquet! It leaves the system within a day.” She said panicked.

“Merlin serves _me_! If he makes a fool of himself _I_ make a fool of myself! Is that what you wanted? For your crown prince embarrassed before the king?” Arthur yelled. The woman burst into tears, shaking her head.

“No, my Lord. Please, I beg forgiveness.” She wept.

“I want to know everyone that was involved, from suggestion, to execution.” Arthur said. Evangelie turned to the other two pale-looking maids.

“It was Bessy’s idea! A-and Margaret picked the flower!” She said.

“It was Evangelie that wanted him humiliated in public!” They turned on each other right there and then.

“Girls! I am ashamed!” The cook said horrified. “Despite what the prince’s manservant’s…” She glanced at Arthur. “…roles are, you never should tamper with food! You work in the kitchens for heaven’s sake!” The cook exclaimed.

Arthur smiled. “Not any more. You’re all sacked.” They looked up at him in shock. “And don’t you _dare_ insult me by begging for your jobs. No one harms my manservant and gets away with it.” Arthur said coldly.

“B-but my lord.” The cook said. “I need the help. The Yuletide feast is in three days time.”

Arthur looked at her. “I have a few recommendations. I know a number of well-abled servants unable to find a job at the moment. I’ll mention it to them. I’m sure they’ll only be too honoured.” Arthur said. Looks like he’d be returning to the brothel once more, hopefully for the last time. He took the flower the maids gave him, hidden behind a pot of spices. He turned to leave.

“S-sire, please, I… my mother is sick, I-”

He turned to her, not an inch of sympathy in his soul. “Then you should have thought of her when you stepped so far out of line.” He said dangerously low and they whimpered, crying still.

“Please, your royal hi-”

“That will be all.” Arthur said, turning his back to them, making his way back to Gaius, the flower taken carefully in his hand.

oOoOoOo

Merlin woke up with a gasp, the room was spinning. He turned to his right and saw the empty space where Arthur had been. Why didn’t Arthur wake him? He was going to be late to the banquet.

He stood and held his head, trying to get the world to stop spinning. Finally, after a few seconds, his mind seemed to settle enough for him to get dressed and stumble to the dinning hall. He stumbled past the servants, who looked at him with less disdain and more wild panic that a servant was making their way through the court at dinner while unable to walk on a straight line.

He could barely see five feet in front of him without his vision blurring. It wasn’t until he arrived behind Arthur’s chair that he realised he wasn’t even there. Neither was the king. Everyone seemed to rise and look behind Merlin.

Merlin turned around to see Uther Pendragon staring at him with wild annoyance, Morgana followed close behind and looked at him in concern. It looked like she was saying his name but she couldn’t hear her.

Merlin doubled over and vomited all over the king’s shoes and trousers.

oOoOoOo

Arthur frowned as he looked at the pale gold potion that Gaius gave him. Just where had Merlin gone? He rushed back to the room only to find him gone.

“Arthur, what the devil happened to Merlin?” Morgana demanded as she stormed toward him.

“You found him? Where is he?” Arthur asked.

“ _Found_ him? He came to the banquet like he always does, only you weren’t there. Uther comes in, everyone stands in greeting, Merlin turns and…” Morgana looked like she was struggling to hold back laughter. “Merlin threw up all over him.” She burst out laughing then, shaking her head and then looking serious. “Uther’s sentenced Merlin to a night in the stocks starting now.” She said.

“ _What_?” Arthur clenched his jaw and stormed over to his father’s quarters. Uther was just leaving, wearing what must have been a new set of clothes. “Father, Merlin doesn’t deserve a night in the stocks.”

“I really don’t wish to discuss this, Arthur. That boy flounders in, swaying on the spot and has the… gall to…”

“Father, the kitchen maids drugged him. I have the antidote, he’ll be fine in a few hours. You can’t leave him out there all night! It’s freezing!” Arthur exclaimed.

“I can and I will, because I am _king_. Now let’s go, we’re both late for the banquet.” Uther grumbled. Arthur glared at his retreating back and stood up straight, ignoring his father’s order and missing the banquet.

oOoOoOo

Merlin trembled from the cold, fresh snow starting to fall. The cold seeped into his bones and his head cleared enough for the world to stop spinning.

No one was about to throw rotten fruit at him. It was dark and everyone had already gone to seek the warmth of their hearth.

“So unfair.” Merlin mumbled. This wasn’t even his fault. Then again, Uther’s face might have just made freezing in the night worthwhile.

He heard crunching in the snow and looked up to see the guard from that first night, leering at him just like he’d done ever since they passed each other in the castle. He was out of his armour, meaning he wasn’t on duty and didn’t have places to be.

“Well, well.” The guard said slowly walking around out of Merlin’s line of sight. Panic set in Merlin’s veins as he heard the crunching in the snow getting closer. A hand was placed firmly on his lower back. “What have we here… you must be cold.” He practically purred.

“Don’t touch me!” Merlin exclaimed, struggling against the stock’s restraints and the urge of his magic to burst out.

“Why not? If you mewling for the prince was anything to go on, you seem to enjoy getting a man’s firm embrace.” The man began to slip his fingers under his shirt and Merlin felt the tips of his fingers burning his skin. He felt even dizzier and he struggled harder. He couldn’t pass out now! No!

Suddenly, the intrusive touch was gone with the sharp sound of a strangled animal.

oOoOoOo

Arthur grabbed the guard by the back of his cloak, tugging hard enough for him to give a strangled choke as he was thrown off Merlin. Merlin looked up at him, his legs looking like they were about to give way from relief.

Arthur pressed his knife to the guard’s neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked very slowly.

“S-sire! I-I wasn’t… I was…”

Arthur leaned close enough for the other to hear the threat in his whisper. “If you, or anyone else ever touches him again. I will kill you for your dishonourable existence.” Arthur promised and pressed his knife harder.

“Y-yes! Yes, sire! Of course! I understand!” He exclaimed. Arthur pushed off the guard’s chest to get back up, knocking the air out of him in the process. Arthur looked down at the guard with contempt. The guard must have seen something that terrified him in Arthur’s eyes, because he scrambled back and ran off as fast as his legs could carry him.

Arthur turned to Merlin and knelt before him.

oOoOoOo

Merlin shuddered as Arthur appeared in his vision once more. “Apologies, sire. I didn’t mean to... throw up on your father.” Merlin said.

Arthur smiled softly at him. “What I would have given to see it.” He mumbled. Merlin found that strange but assumed his dizziness was now making him imagine words too. “Here, drink up.” He said, uncorking a vial and tipping it in Merlin’s mouth.

Merlin grimaced at the bitterness but swallowed all the same. “What was that?” He asked.

“Something to take away the dizziness.” Arthur said simply and Merlin nodded, teeth clattering as the wind brought down the snow faster on him. Merlin felt Arthur dust the snow off his back and place his fur-lined coat over it, followed by a thick black cloak that Merlin couldn’t remember Arthur ever owning.

Arthur sat down and leaned against one of the posts of the stocks. “A-Arthur... it’s freezing. Go inside.” Merlin said, feeling so tired, his teeth clattering from time to time, his body trembling to try and heat him up.

“You still haven’t gotten it, have you?” Arthur looked up, meeting his eyes with the kindest smile Merlin could remember. “I’m the one that gives the orders.” Arthur said and Merlin smiled, looking down.

“Did you at least eat something, sire? You know you become unbearable on an empty stomach.” Merlin said.

“Shut up, Merlin.” Arthur said softly.

“My point exactly.” Merlin mumbled and he thought he saw Arthur smile, amused. After sitting for a few minutes in silence, Arthur turned to face Merlin and reached up his hands to hold onto his pale, bound hands, wrapping them in his warmth.

“What are you doing, Arthur?” Merlin asked softly, his heart racing in his chest.

“I’m warming your hands up. I forgot to get your gloves.” Arthur said, rubbing the top of Merlin’s hands with his thumbs.

His destiny was just so cruel. Why was it trying to confuse him so much?

“You can’t stay here all night, Arthur.” Merlin said, his head slowly clearing up. Arthur looked up at him with a fire in his eyes.

“Is that a challenge?” Arthur asked and sat back down, refusing to move. Merlin closed his eyes, whispering a spell to make them both a little warmer. Otherwise he was sure they’d both catch their deaths overnight.

oOoOoOo

Morgana walked down the corridor, pausing as he saw Uther staring out of one of the glass covered windows and came to stand beside him, looking at what he was staring.

Arthur was sitting beside the stocks, waiting beside Merlin. “He can’t stay there all night.” Uther said.

Morgana looked back down. “If you truly believe that, then you don’t know Arthur.” Morgana said, smiling at her brother, proud to be able to call him that.

“He’ll come in. I know it.” Uther said.

“I guess we’ll see.” Morgana said, making her way to her rooms.

When she returned late at night, Uther was still standing there. As she approached the window, Arthur was still there, head back, snow trying to coat the top of his head as he slept and Merlin just about able to reach to dust it off.

“Why are they so peculiar?” Uther asked as he stared at the two. Morgana reasoned, it was Uther’s own fault for having them lie together in the first place.

“What does it matter? As long as it keeps Arthur distracted and away from other ladies’ beds?” She said. Uther looked at her as if she’d said the wisest thing.

“Of course, how could I forget. No, this is perfect. The more Arthur dotes on that servant, the less distractions for him. When the ideal match arrives, Arthur will not have sired any…” He hesitated as he glanced at Morgana.

“Any what?” Morgana asked innocently.

Uther became flustered and turned to leave. “Have them released. I won’t have my son freezing to death over a mere servant.” He said and finally retired for the night looking oh so satisfied with himself.


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur stood before the cook with four men who looked entirely out of place, nervous and tired. They weren’t used to being awake during the day after all.

“Cook, these are the men I promised. They’re eager for the job.” Arthur said.

The cook looked at them uncertain. “What experience do you have in the kitchen?” She asked.

“Cooking wasn’t our forte… but we’re eager to learn. We reached quite high serving stations in our former services.” The pretty one that Arthur first met spoke up. They’d all changed their names but Arthur hadn’t learned them yet.

“Well, come on then, we have a feast to prepare in three days.” She said and tossed an apron at all of them. They stared at the apron like it was a lifeline.

“Thank you, cook.” One said. They turned to Arthur, in disbelief, as if waiting for him to take away the offer and send them running back to where they came from.

 “Then that will be that.” Arthur said.

Merlin rushed in then, a little out of breath, still somewhat pale after they spent most of the night out in the snow. “Cook! The prince’s breakfa-oh.” Merlin stopped as he saw Arthur was already there.

“What are you doing here? You should be in bed.” Merlin said and Arthur rolled his eyes.

“ _No_ , _you_ should be in bed.”

“I have my duties to start, sire, namely, feeding _you_.” Merlin said.

“Your prince orders you to return to bed. So do so.” Arthur said, grabbing onto his neckerchief.

“For how long?” Merlin asked.

“Just go.” Arthur said and Merlin walked off, grumbling about one thing or another. Something about cabbages and turnips.

“He’s the one?” Arthur turned surprised to see the new servant.

“He is.” Arthur said. “Remember what we agreed?”

“If I hear of any plans to harm him, I come straight to you.” The new kitchen servant answered and Arthur nodded.

“Good luck.” Arthur said.

“Thank you, my lord.” He said politely and turned to listen to the cook’s instructions.

Arthur picked up breakfast for two from the cook and went back to his rooms, where Merlin lay on the bed, arms crossed over his chest, looking tired but refusing to go to sleep.

“We have to talk.” Merlin said. “What’s wrong with you?” He asked.

“Implying that there’s anything wrong with the crown prince is a sure way to return to the stocks.” Arthur said bringing Merlin hot honeyed milk to drink. Merlin stared at the cup.

“Arthur, I am a servant. Nothing more. If Uther were to find out how you’re favouring me he’d have me sacked.” Merlin said.

“We both know you’re more than that.” Arthur said looking at Merlin straight in the eye. “Aren’t you the one always saying how many times you’ve saved my life?” Arthur asked. Merlin froze.

“I… well… I…” He looked away. “You know, I’m the voice of reason in all your expeditions.” Merlin said.

“I think we can both agree you’re more than a voice.” Arthur said.

Merlin stared at him for a long time. “What am I, Arthur?” He asked him flat out. Arthur didn’t want to be the one to say it. He wanted Merlin to confess his magic of his own volition so he changed the topic by leaning in and kissing Merlin deeply.

oOoOoOo

Merlin’s heart stopped as he stared at Arthur after the kiss. Oh god, he’d enchanted Arthur by accident! This was the out of control magic! Arthur was trying to say he was in love with him! What nonsense!

“Now, eat your breakfast.” Arthur said, motioning for the tray, full of a breakfast for two. They both sat cross-legged on the bed, facing each other.

Merlin stared at the food and his stomach rumbled loudly after being sick the day before and not eating anything for dinner. He started eating, keeping a suspicious eye on Arthur until Arthur finally snapped.

“What?” He asked annoyed.

“Why do you keep kissing me?” Merlin asked. “You love Gwen.”

“When have I _ever_ said that I love Gwen?” Arthur asked.

“You can deny it, but your heart knows she’s your true love.” Merlin said. Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Nothing can ever happen between us, Gwen and I parted on… amicable terms.” Arthur said simply.

“Nothing can… what and something can with _us_?” Merlin mocked.

“Well, something is already happening, on order of my father, and I simply can’t be intimate with someone and be cold to them the rest of the time.” Arthur said simply, looking somewhat embarrassed.

Right, so perhaps not enchantment… otherwise Arthur would be all over him proclaiming his undying love for him. “Thank you for the breakfast, my lord.” Merlin said. Arthur leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips.

“You’re welcome.” Merlin stared at him as Arthur stood and took the tray away. He reached up to feel his tingling lips, licking them a little. His heart raced. This was not good. He was supposed to discourage their magical union.

What if Arthur genuinely fell in love with him? Merlin scoffed. That would never happen. Men just don’t fall in love with each other the way they fall for a woman. Specially not Arthur Pendragon.

“Will there be training today?” Merlin asked, getting out of bed, coming to his side.

“There’s no training now until the snows begin to melt.” Arthur said. “Snow is too deep at the moment.” He looked at him. “So we’ll be staying in bed this morning. I can still feel the chill of last night in my bones.” Arthur said and wrapped an arm around Merlin’s waist, pulling him close.

“I told you to get back inside.” Merlin said, but found his voice came out soft, the wind knocked out of him at the feeling of Arthur’s strong body against his. Arthur looked into his eyes and reached to caress his cheek, stealing a kiss that Merlin would have gladly, if conflicted, given.

Arthur then leaned lower, letting his lips rest on Merlin’s neck. Merlin shuddered, his insides twisting and turning as Arthur took his time with his neck, nibbling on his collarbone, holding him tighter against him. “Let me embrace you, Merlin.” Arthur whispered.

“Please…” Merlin begged. He’d go mad if Arthur didn’t take him now. Arthur kissed him deeply and Merlin kissed him back almost hungry to savour his prince, reaching up to wrap his arms around his neck, gripping onto the other’s hair, kissing him with a building need that had them stumbling toward the bed and yanking at their clothes to toss to the side.

Merlin smiled up at Arthur as he lay on the bed, Arthur looking at him all over, slowing down to take him in, leaning down to kiss his neck, his collarbone and trail firm kisses down his body, making Merlin shudder and arch up his body against him.

Arthur came back up to reclaim his mouth and Merlin wrapped his legs around the other’s waist, pulling him against him as they kissed. One of Arthur’s hands reached for his thigh, holding onto it firm while his thumb caressed his skin.

They finally pulled back out of breath and Arthur looked down at him, their eyes locking onto each other, conveying much more than either of them had ever said out loud. Those same looks they’d always shared, now they seemed to carry so much more meaning than ever before.

Arthur reached for the oil once more and Merlin relaxed under him, letting his body take Arthur in. Merlin winced a little, as his body took its time to adjust and Arthur leaned down to kiss him in response, making him forget about the discomfort just like that.

Arthur’s hand reached for his, threading their finger’s together and Merlin held him back, moaning as Arthur moved against him, their bodies rocking together with a need to feel closer than even now.

“Mmh… Ah- Arthur…” Merlin moaned and it seemed to light a fire in Arthur’s eyes that showed when he moved.

“Merlin…”

As they moved, as they kissed, as they held each other, the pleasure began to build and build, and Merlin threw his head back, crying out as he reached his point, Arthur became more forceful, moaning and panting against Merlin’s ear in those lovely sounds that sent a thrill through Merlin’s spine, tensing up against him, reaching his point seconds after.

Merlin shuddered as their energy fizzled away. Merlin opened his eyes as Arthur pulled on his hand. While keeping their eyes locked, Arthur gave the back of his hand a kiss, just above his knuckles. It was the least intimate thing that they’d just done and yet it sent Merlin’s heart racing in his chest.

They both seemed to have so many questions that none were ready to ask out loud.

Instead, they curled up under the blankets, holding onto each other for a while. Eventually they started talking. Pointless little questions.

“Blue?” Merlin said surprised.

“What? Can’t I like blue?” Arthur asked.

“It’s just, I pictured you more for liking everything red.” Merlin said, amused.

“And you? Your kingdom’s colours are blue.” Arthur said.

Merlin smiled. “No, my favourite colour is red.” Specially when Arthur was wearing it.

“Favourite food?” Arthur asked. Merlin thought about it.

“I do really like the sweet pudding that Gaius makes with raisings and honey. But if it’s not sweet… I like crisp oven-made parsnips.” Merlin said.

“Sounds boring.”

“It’s actually quite tasty with a touch of salt.” Merlin said.

There was a knock on the door and they both tensed, Merlin pulling up the blanket to his shoulders.

“Sire?” It was a servant. “I was wondering if you wanted your bath prepared today.” Came the voice at the door, but they didn’t come in far enough for them to see Merlin.

“Yes, have it prepared.” Arthur called. The door closed shut once more and Merlin glared.

“That’s my job!” Merlin said. “Are you trying to slowly leave me without work?” He asked. Arthur didn’t seem phased by his annoyance, climbing on top of him and kissing him deeply instead.

“I want you here, with me.” He said.

Merlin blushed darkly. “Absolutely not! The servants will have to come in and they’ll see us!” Merlin said, squirming away to get his clothes on. Arthur just watched him go.

“You should bring your clothes up here. I have room in my armoire.” Arthur said. Merlin stared at him.

“You mean it?” Merlin asked.

“I do.” He said, slipping on his trousers. Merlin automatically came over to help finish dressing him, straightening out his clothes, reaching up to brush his hair to the side with his fingers, all while Arthur made his heart race with his intense gaze.

“Only because you insist on keeping me here most of the time.” Merlin said. Arthur simply smiled and went off to sit on his table, starting some work while Merlin made the bed before the maids could come and see how they’d left it. He’d bring fresh sheets later on and give the floor a clean. Then he’d bring his things in and that will be that.

Back to normal.

The maids came in and didn’t give him a second glance. No disgust, no disdain, no glares, nothing. They simply kept their heads down, ignoring him as if he were Arthur himself.

Merlin glanced at Arthur in confusion but the prince said nothing, not even making a sign that he’d noticed.

oOoOoOo

It must have been a few weeks later when it happened. Merlin woke up with a jump in the middle of the night.

_“Hurry…”_

_“Almost there…”_

Merlin felt his heart race. That voice… it was Mordred.

Merlin was with Arthur, as he always was. He never spent a night outside the other’s bed at this point. Luckily for him, Arthur was a heavy sleeper.

Merlin carefully moved Arthur’s arm and replaced himself with a pillow, which Arthur instantly pulled close against him. Merlin sighed softly at the sight before turning to put on his shirt and slip on his shoes, slipping out of the room as silent as he could.

The voice was far away, he could barely make out what was being said. _“Morgana… not much further…”_

Merlin’s eyes widened and he rushed towards Morgana’s chambers. He didn’t notice Arthur following him in the shadows.

oOoOoOo

“…Gana…” Morgana frowned. “Morgana…” She opened her eyes. Her heart soared as she saw Mordred’s innocent face smiling at her.

“Mordred!” She whispered, opening her arms to him, pulling him into a hug, holding his small frame and petting his hair gently. “I’ve missed you.” She said softly. She pulled back checking him all over, petting his cheek. “You’ve lost weight.” She said, worried. He smiled softly.

The alarm bells rang out and Mordred along with the man with him looked up in worry.

“Not much to eat when you’re a child, lost and alone and hunted by Uther’s men. It’s a rough winter this year.” The man said and Morgana looked at Mordred, playing with his hair still.

“Who are you?” She asked him suspicious.

“My name is Alvarr, I too have been alone since I was a child.” He said.

“You have magic.”

“Yes, as did my parents before me and their parents before them. They, however, were lucky to live in a time of peace.”

Morgana looked down, caressing Mordred’s cheek with the back of her hand, smiling as he turned his bright eyes to her. “There will be peace once more, once Arthur is king.” Morgana said.

“Arthur Pendragon has been just as ruthless hunting sorcerers as his father.” Alvarr said and Morgana looked up.

“He has changed.”

“Will he stay as such, I wonder, if he learns of your magic?” Alvarr said. Morgana smiled looking away.

“He knows my mother had magic, he knows my sister has magic. He’s a bit thick at times but I’m certain he’s not so much of a fool to not suspect me already.” She said.

“They are coming.” Mordred said softly. Morgana tensed, not having the time to hide them. Thankfully, it wasn’t the guards. It was Merlin, who stormed into her rooms followed closely by Arthur.

“Merlin! Arthur!” Morgana said shocked.

“Arthur?!” Merlin said turning around shocked.

“Mordred?” Arthur asked surprised.

“The famous Arthur Pendragon.” Alvarr said.

“Who are _you_?” Arthur said and Morgana could feel a headache forming.

“Shut up, all of you! Or the guards will hear us!” Morgana hissed, holding Mordred close in her arms. Everyone was on edge. “Arthur… Mordred just came to visit me.”

Arthur laughed. “Hah! Right, Morgana, despite what you might think, you’re not that special. No one would risk death for something like that.” Arthur said.

“Morgana _is_ special!” Mordred yelled.

“The child, I believe, the adult, risking execution? I don’t think so.” Arthur took out his sword. “Who are you?” He pointed his sword at Alvarr.

“My name is Alvarr. We do come with a purpose. Lady Morgana says you’ve allied yourself to our cause. Prove it.” Alvarr said.

“What?” Merlin whispered looking at Arthur in shock. “A-Arthur, what is he saying? Magic is against the law.” Merlin said.

“Shut up, Merlin.” Arthur said, without so much as looking at him. “Alvarr, was it? I’m listening.”

Morgana smiled and turned to Mordred, who looked as surprised as Merlin.


	11. Chapter 11

Merlin had to take a seat, his heart racing wildly. Every yell from the guards in the distance sent his pulse racing. What was Arthur doing? And why? Why was Arthur listening to a _sorcerer_ about a plot to take a _magical_ crystal out of Camelot’s own vaults? Arthur Pendragon talking treason. Sure, it wasn’t the first time Arthur had gone against his father… but _never_ so blatantly, and _never_ to aid the enemy side of the war on magic.

Merlin felt a surge of bitterness. Arthur was listening to this man spout about the crystal of Neahtid as if it were some kind of weapon, with arms crossed over his chest, taking this man seriously and considering his words. Merlin would have given anything to have Arthur’s respect and attention for a _minute_ and here comes this man out of nowhere with the child prophesised to kill Arthur, requesting a weapon and wasn’t being thrown straight into the dungeon.

So much time protecting Arthur, saving his life countless times, throwing away his very _dignity_ as a man just to stay by his side and it amounted to _nothing_. Merlin was still Arthur’s servant. Nothing more. He was just pitied for what they were having to do to keep Uther happy. He couldn’t be anything else. If he revealed himself to Arthur, he would be called a liar for keeping it secret so long.

“I hear what you’re saying. You still ran a great risk bringing the child back to this place.” Arthur said.

“I wanted to see Morgana.” Mordred said and Merlin felt his heart squeeze in pity at the affection shining in Morgana’s eyes.

Arthur looked pensive and Merlin half expected Arthur to send Alvarr to the dungeons for his next day execution. Instead, Arthur nodded. “Very well. I, not Morgana, will get the crystal to you.” Arthur said.

Merlin took a deep breath that got caught in his throat and felt his magic lash out. Morgana gave a short scream as her wardrobe exploded from the inside out. Merlin closed his eyes, heart racing in panic, not even able to tell if his eyes were glowing or not.

“Merlin? Are you alright?” Arthur asked.

“I’m fine, I didn’t get hit.” Merlin said, as the wardrobe’s debris had come close to him. When he finally felt safe that his magic was back in line, he looked at the wardrobe, pretending to be confused.

“Strange, was that you, Mordred?” Alvarr said and Merlin turned to them. Mordred was looking straight at him, able to know it was him.

“I got a bit scared. I thought I heard the guards.” Mordred said and Morgana held him close. Merlin swallowed and looked at Arthur.

“Arthur, you _do_ realise you’ve just agreed to commit _treason_ against Uther.” Merlin said.

“Don’t you hate him for what he’s done?” Morgana asked. Merlin took a deep breath again, the shame creeping up once more.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel! He’s your father, Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed. “You don’t even know what this crystal is capable of!” Merlin said.

“We’re doing this, because I want to find out.” Arthur said and turned to Alvarr, extending his hand for him to shake. As Merlin saw them shake hands, more rage coursed through his body.

It wasn’t until they were back in Arthur’s room that Merlin finally spoke up again.

“Arthur, you can’t be serious about committing treason against Camelot.” Merlin said.

“You worry too much, Merlin.” Arthur scoffed. Arthur looked at him so carefree that Merlin wanted to shake him until he saw things from Merlin’s perspective.

“Worry too much? What is wrong with you? What if it’s a trap? What if… the crystal is cursed and you die when touching it?” Merlin asked. Arthur turned to him then.

“Unfortunately, I don’t have another sorcerer whom I trust, knowledgeable enough to give me advice on the matter.” That hurt Merlin badly. He opened his mouth but the words got caught in his throat as he looked away, shaking his head. He had to get Arthur to see reason. This was too dangerous and they had no way of knowing what would happen. He couldn’t risk it. No matter how much he wanted to confess right then. Instead of taking that big step forward, he had to take two back. There was no other way.

“How many times has magic hurt Camelot? Do you know? Because I’ve lost count.” Merlin asked, without being able to look him in the eye. His heart ached with what he had to say next. “You know how evil magic can be.” Merlin said, looking up at Arthur.

“So everyone that uses magic is evil? No exceptions?” Arthur demanded.

“Th-that’s not what I said.” Merlin insisted.

“Then there’s no problem. We can give Alvarr the benefit of the doubt. That’s all that will be said on the matter.” Arthur said and walked to his desk. Merlin wanted to call him back, to tell him the truth and insist the other listen to him instead, but he didn’t say that. For some reason Arthur wanted to see where this plan could go and it was too dangerous for Merlin to allow it.

Tonight, he would have to steal the crystal himself, before Arthur did. “It’s already daybreak, shall I get your breakfast, my lord?” Merlin asked stiffly.

“Yes. Unless there’s something else you wish say regarding this crystal?” Arthur asked without looking up from the scroll he was reading.

“...no, sire.” Merlin said softly and saw Arthur clenched his jaw in a distinct way that showed he was angry.

“Then carry on.” Arthur said, again without looking up at him. Merlin didn’t want to leave. It didn’t feel right. But he turned. He went for the door. He let it click shut behind him.

oOoOoOo

Arthur tried to calm down as Merlin left. He growled and threw the scroll to the side in rage. It relieved some of his anger but not all.

How much better could he have laid it out for Merlin? Why didn’t he trust him? It hurt! He wasn’t used to being hurt this way, specially not by Merlin. Was Arthur really that unreliable that the other couldn’t find it in himself to tell him?

Of course he didn’t trust Alvarr. The man used a child to try and manipulate Morgana into committing treason. He wasn’t a fool. But _had_ been wrong. He’d thought Merlin would for sure tell him that he has magic. Instead, the idiot went into a full anti-magic speech that would have almost made Uther proud.

He shouldn’t be surprised. Merlin seemed to be all about self-deprecation when it came to protecting Arthur but… this wasn’t protecting Arthur. In fact, by Merlin not confessing, he was letting Arthur walk into a potential trap.

He groaned, rubbing his head. He wasn’t used to… sneaking around the truth. It made his head hurt. It made his heart hurt for some reason too. He was more used to honesty, speaking plainly and fighting fairly.

So now what was he going to do? Later on he would speak to Morgana, forge a plan. She seemed far too eager to erase their father off the map but they had to be smart about it.

Merlin returned, holding a tray of food, looking nervous at him. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“You seem… angry.” Merlin said, setting the tray down.

“Now why would I be angry?” Arthur asked with a light tone, sarcastically. Merlin rose an eyebrow and picked up the scroll Arthur had just thrown against the wall and set it down beside him.

“I don’t know…” He said softly. The idiot looked so clueless. Clearly it didn’t even cross his mind to confess to him. It made him so angry but seeing that wounded look in Merlin’s eyes instantly made that anger fizzle out of him and he reached up, pulling the other toward him, pulling Merlin down onto his lap, causing him to give a short yelp of surprise.

“Kiss me.” Arthur ordered.

“N-now?” Merlin asked, shifting uncomfortable on Arthur’s lap. Arthur placed his hand on Merlin’s thigh, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“Kiss me.” He said once more, softer, watching the worry melt from Merlin’s face and a smile just about begin to form, before he leaned in and kissed him deeply. Kissing Merlin was starting to feel like getting a blast of fresh air every time that made him sigh softly, reaching up to cup the other’s neck as he kissed him slowly, longingly. He would give anything for Merlin to trust him.

“Eat your breakfast.” Merlin finally said, pulling back and getting back on his feet.

“It’s too much, share it with me.” Arthur said. Merlin used to complain about it, but knowing it was a lost cause, simply sat down beside him, getting half of what Arthur was eating. Of course, the warlock would always get him double portions now.

oOoOoOo

Merlin took the empty plates to the kitchen, greeting the new kitchen servants, all male, strangely enough, but all looking very eager to please the cook, who looked on like a strict mother hen, barking instructions here and there. They greeted him politely and Merlin left, making his way to Gaius’ chambers when a blur of blue slammed into him, making him groan.

He grabbed the short form’s shoulders and held him at arm’s length. Blue eyes made his blood freeze. “Mordred?!” He whispered horrified.

It was bright, sunny daylight and here was Mordred, running about the halls of the castle. He was supposed to have left with Alvarr!

oOoOoOo

Uther walked with his lords down the hall, discussing a treaty that was up for question when something disturbing caught his eye.

Outside, Arthur and Morgana were walking closely. Their arms were linked and they seemed to be having an innocent stroll about the snow covered gardens. They seemed to be speaking in hushed tones, heads leaning close despite there not being anyone around to hear them.

They laughed together and Uther’s blood ran cold. He felt sick. He couldn’t let them fall in love. That would be disastrous! He had worked so hard to favour Morgana, enticing Arthur’s jealous streak to get him to hate her ever so slightly. Enough to be civil but not enough to push Morgana to leave the castle.

Pushing them afar just enough to stop them considering each other potential matches for marriage.

Now this was happening? He kept walking, sending his lords away, making his way down to the gardens. That’s when he saw that serving boy, standing on the corridor with a young boy that looked just like him.

“You! Boy!” He shouted and Merlin paled a pleasant shade that made Uther feel powerful. “Who is this child?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at Mordred, who hid behind Merlin, peeking out his eyes at him.

“He-He’s my um… brother.” Arthur’s manservant said, reaching back to place his hand on the top of the boy’s head.

Uther thought the boy looked familiar, but considering he looked just like Arthur’s manservant, he didn’t bother trying to think of an alternative explanation.

“Leave family reunions for a time when you’re not working.” Uther said coldly.

“Oh, A-arthur gave me the morning off, sire.” Merlin said.

“Well I’m cancelling that! I’m giving you a very specific job this time, boy. I need you to bridge a gap between Arthur and Morgana. They can never be alone together. I’ll not have my son corrupting my ward.” Uther said.

Merlin’s eyes widened. “O-of course, sire. Right away.” Merlin said and pulled his younger brother along.

“Oh, and make sure you take the boy with you. Perhaps having a child around will deter them from closeness.” Uther said and threw a coin at Mordred that the boy caught. “I’ll assign the mission to you too young man.”

The boy bowed his head and let himself get pulled away by his older brother.

oOoOoOo

“Oh god… what are we going to do?” Merlin whispered, sliding down the wall, holding his head in his hands.

“Wow, it’s gold.” Mordred said distracted, admiring the golden coin as it reflected the light of the winter sun.

How could things be getting so out of control? The fact that Uther thought Morgana and Arthur were falling in love was laughable, but he didn’t understand why it would bother the king so much.

To make things worse! Mordred had a job! In the castle! Merlin wanted to rip his hair out right now. “What are you still doing here?” Merlin demanded, looking at Mordred as he pocketed his coin happily.

“I… I don’t trust you. You’re going to convince Arthur not to get the crystal.” Mordred said.

“How long have you even known Alvarr? How do you know you can trust him?”

“A couple of moons… he saved me from starving in the forest.” Mordred said.

“How do you know he won’t kill hundreds of people with that crystal?” Merlin asked.

“He won’t kill anyone who has magic.” Mordred said with a pout.

“What about everyone else?” Merlin pushed. Mordred looked away.

“People with no magic… they’ve killed many of us… they deserve to suffer.” He said softly, looking sad. Merlin knelt before him.

“No, they don’t. Mordred, if we start hunting down non-magic folk… that will make us just as bad as those that have hunted us. It will never end the circle of death. One person would die, their loved ones will seek vengeance and on and on it goes.” Merlin said.

“But… Alvarr said we can’t just roll over and die just because they say so!” Mordred said.

“And neither are we going to do that. We are going to grow strong in secret, until Arthur is king and he brings magic back to the land of Albion.” Merlin said and Mordred didn’t look up at him. “Does Alvarr want to attack Camelot with the crystal?” Merlin asked softly.

“… I don’t know.” Mordred mumbled. Merlin sighed and stood up.

“Come on… we have a job to do little brother.” Merlin said, pulling him along. As expected, Arthur and Morgana were simply discussing the crystal. Both of them nearly had a heart attack when they saw Mordred walking with him. Once he introduced him as his little brother, they all relaxed. Specially when they realised the king had been the one to find them first.

Mordred smiled brightly at Morgana. Merlin hated to admit it, but the boy was rather sweet once he actually got time to know him.

oOoOoOo

Merlin woke up deep at night and pulled back from Arthur, finding his clothes and putting them back on, sneaking to Arthur’s drawers and taking out the vault keys. He slowly made his way to the door.

oOoOoOo

Arthur heard Merlin leave and sighed. It was getting too easy to sense Merlin’s movements. Always in a panic that his magic would go off or that he would try and sneak around him, Arthur had developed his instincts to wake him, same as they did in the forest when any little sound could snap him out of sleep.

Arthur waited for the door to close before sitting up and getting dressed. He didn’t have to follow Merlin too closely. He knew exactly where he was going by looking at which set of keys was missing.


	12. Chapter 12

Merlin pulled the black hood over his face. Another gift from Arthur. Far nicer than anything he’d ever worn. This was his first time wearing it. He was hoping the guards, if they _did_ see him, would assume he was just a lord or lady sneaking around and wouldn’t bother him.

He snuck into the vaults, making his way through the darkness. Two guards sat, half asleep by the main gates.

Merlin raised his hand. “ _Swefe nu._ ” He whispered. The guards fell back against the chairs, snoring deeply.

Merlin passed by and reached the final locked gate, using the keys to enter the vault. He was momentarily overwhelmed with all the riches in there, before coming to his senses and focusing on the task at hand. He searched the vault, looking for the crystal described by Alvarr.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for, but soon he felt the familiar pull of magic and followed it to a remote corner of the treasures. There, lying on a lush pillow of velvet, sat the crystal. Merlin reached for it.

“What are you doing?” Arthur said and Merlin felt his heart jump to the back of his throat as he turned, looking at him terror.

“A-arthur! I-I was just… I…” Merlin stammered. Arthur came closer and looked at the crystal.

“Well, look at that, you found it. Excellent work.” Arthur said placing it carefully in a cloth, careful not to touch the crystal. “Good thing the guards were asleep, but really, you shouldn’t have tried to get it for me.” Arthur said and passed it to him. Merlin could still hear his heart racing in his ears. “Come on, let’s get out of here before the guards wake up.” He said and Merlin could only nod, dumbfounded.

Arthur practically pulled him out of there, taking the keys from him, locking every door they met until they were out of there once more. No one would even know they were there.

Once back in the room, Merlin knew he had to explain, but his mind had gone blank all the way up.

“Arthur… I…” Merlin started but Arthur simply held his hand up to silence him.

“I’m sure you have a very good explanation for what you were doing, but I don’t want to hear it, Merlin.” Arthur said. “I’m _tired_ of being lied to.” Arthur wouldn’t even look at him.

Merlin felt his mouth go dry. As if he didn’t hate lying, but how could he possibly tell him the truth? “I was just…”

“Merlin. Shut up.” Arthur said, taking off his cloak and finally released a defeated laugh, shaking his head. “Tell me, Merlin, have you ever trusted someone dearly only to know you weren’t trusted in return?” Arthur asked as he moved to light the candles one at a time.

Merlin’s head hurt, the ringing from the crystal becoming louder. He tossed it on the bed, stepping away from it. “I don’t know what that feels like.” Merlin said. Arthur didn’t reply, simply poured them both a cup of wine and motioned for Merlin to sit with him before the fireplace.

Merlin hesitantly grabbed the wine and did as he was indicated, watching Arthur nervously.

“My father has lied to me all my life.” Merlin felt his shoulders sag with relief. So Arthur wasn’t thinking about him.

“Oh? I’m sure he… must have had the best of the kingdom in mind.” Merlin forced out and drank the wine.

“No, he was only thinking about himself.” Arthur said.

“How do you know?” Merlin asked and took another sip.

“The Great Dragon underneath the dungeons told me so.”

Merlin gasped, causing the wine to choke his lungs. He spat it back out, succumbing to a coughing fit that he tried to control unsuccessfully.

Arthur stared at him coldly, sipping his wine without a care in the world.

“Y-You wh-wha-at?” Merlin coughed in between every stammer.

“I spoke to the Great Dragon. He told me the truth about what happened twenty years ago.” Arthur said simply.

“Is…” Merlin cleared his throat. “Is that all he told you?” Merlin asked.

“Is there something else he should have told me?” Arthur asked in mock confusion and Merlin stared at him, a knot getting tighter and tighter at the back of his mouth. “No… of course not… You’d tell me if there was, wouldn’t you? We’re _friends_ after all.” Merlin’s vision blurred and the tears rolled.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin gasped, his voice breaking. He covered his mouth. He didn’t trust himself not to break if he tried speaking again. Arthur didn’t yell, he didn’t demand explanations. He simply sipped his drink making the silence all the more torturous for Merlin. When Merlin gathered enough strength he looked back up. “I have magic.” Merlin whispered.

“Is that so?” Arthur said and put the cup down, standing walking away toward the bed.

“Arthur, please… how could I have told you?” He asked.

“This morning would have been the _excellent_ chance!” Arthur finally yelled and Merlin sobbed.

“I couldn’t! How could I admit that I’d been lying to you since we first met?” Merlin exclaimed, standing to face him.

“You lied to my face again and again, even though I would tell you _everything_!”

“Clearly not everything! Since when have you been speaking to the dragon?!” Merlin yelled.

“Don’t you turn this on me, _Merlin_!” Arthur yelled. “Your magic has been out of control just a few days after we joined for the first time!”

Merlin felt his blood freeze as he heard that.

“I woke up to find you encased in light, orbs of light forming in your hand and hovering over us. Then you woke up, and I _followed_ you.” Arthur said.

Followed him? “You heard what he said?” Merlin whispered.

“That we’re _mates_? That we’re married by an accidental ancient rite? Yes, I heard that.” Arthur said.

“So you understand! How on _earth_ was I going to even start to unravel all the lies I told you until then?” Merlin exclaimed.

“You simply _start_!” Arthur yelled. “Give me the _chance_ to send you away before you get me to fall in love with you!”

“I couldn’t give you that chance! I couldn’t let anything happen to you! I would gladly give my life to save yours and I’ve almost done it before! I was not going to get sent away!” Merlin yelled, trying to catch his breath before the argument was processed by his mind. “Wait… what did you just say?” Merlin asked softly.

“You heard me just fine.” Arthur said, glaring at him despite having just confessed his love.

“No… you can’t love me.” Merlin whispered.

“According to the dragon, we were _soulmates_ , long before we were mated.” Arthur said. “And thanks to my father, we’re closer than we’ve ever been.”

“Well… I don’t love you, so stop it.” Merlin insisted. Arthur laughed bitterly.

“Yes, because you’d give up your life to save just anyone, isn’t that right?” he said sarcastically.

“Y-yes!” Merlin forced out.

“Lies! Again!” Arthur yelled and Merlin let his arms drop to his sides in defeat.

“Arthur… please… you can’t. I’m not just a sorcerer… I’m a warlock… _the_ warlock.” Merlin whispered. “I’m supposed to be the most powerful warlock there ever was. I was born with magic and hid it in Ealdor for as long as I could! Then I kept getting stronger and stronger! All my life I’ve believed that I was just a monster! Evil! Until I came here and found that you were my destiny! You needed me… to protect you.” Merlin held himself tight, feeling his magic trembling under his skin. “But I’m just a monster! Now I can’t even control it! I’m scared all the time! What if I hurt you?” Merlin held himself tighter.

He didn’t notice Arthur stepping closer until he felt the other’s strong hands cupping his face, making him look up at him. “You could never hurt me.” Arthur whispered, leaning in, pressing their lips together.

Merlin gasped against Arthur’s mouth and struggled. “No… don’t.” Merlin begged,

“You’re not a monster.” Arthur whispered, stealing another kiss and Merlin moaned against his mouth, trying to find the will to fight back.

“Please…” Merlin whispered.

“And I love you.” Arthur said and Merlin lost all fight, pulling Arthur closer as his arms wrapped around the prince’s back, kissing him with as much fervour as the other was displaying.

They tugged at each other’s clothes in desperation, tossing them to the ground on their way to the bed, falling onto it while still devouring each other. Arthur went for his neck and Merlin turned his head to give him better access. The feeling of Arthur’s teeth grazing his neck made him shudder with want and he felt his magic tingle stronger under his skin.

Merlin didn’t notice when his skin began to glow. As their bodies rocked together, he didn’t notice his magic passing onto Arthur, wrapping them both in light.

“Merlin… I love you.” Arthur kept whispering in his ear and Merlin felt tears burn on the corners of his eyes, holding onto him tighter.

“I love you, Arthur…” He moaned and cried out as his magic made itself known, blasting energy through them, forcing them into their climax which caught them both by surprise. Merlin felt everything go dark, passing out with a gasp.

When Merlin opened his eyes once more, everything was dark and his head throbbed in pain, as if once more he’d done too much magic. He groaned trying to reach for Arthur.

“Sleep.” Arthur mumbled, pulling him closer.

“Mmh… My head… what happened?” Merlin mumbled.

“We can ask the dragon tomorrow.” Arthur said.

“Mmh…” Merlin held his head some more. He soon felt Arthur passing his fingers gently through his hair. Slowly the pain was soothed enough for him to fall asleep, Arthur’s fingers lulling him to sleep.

oOoOoOo

Merlin opened his eyes late mid-day. He frowned, confused, sitting up, looking around the room, wondering what the hell had happened. Was last night a nightmare? Or did Arthur actually know about his magic?

Merlin blushed remembering what they’d both confessed to each other. He felt something heavy on his hand and looked down to see Arthur’s mother’s ring on his index finger. His heart raced as he played with it. He pulled his hand to his chest, feeling loved and it was such an unusual feeling for him, who thought he’d always be alone, that it left him winded.

Wait… the crystal!

Merlin shot up, looking around for the crystal, only to find it gone and his heart raced.

The door opened and Arthur walked inside, dressed in his forest cloak.

“You took the crystal to Alvarr.” Merlin whispered. “Without me! What if something had happened to you?” Merlin yelled.

Arthur showed him the crystal and Merlin’s shoulders dropped, what was happening?

“He didn’t want it. Mordred wants to stay with Morgana. Without Mordred, he can’t wield the crystal.” Arthur said, throwing it at Merlin. Merlin caught it and looked down at it, freezing as images began to flash before his eyes.

oOoOoOo

_“Come on! Arthur!” Merlin yelled, pulling him from under his shoulders, using all his strength to drag a pale Arthur closer to the lake of Avalon._

_“Merlin… without the horses… we can’t.” Arthur said._

_“I’m not letting you die.” Merlin insisted and groaned as he tripped, Arthur’s weight resting on his chest._

_“Just… just… hold me.” Arthur whispered._

_oOo_

_Merlin cried as he placed his hand on Arthur’s forehead, crying at his loss, knowing that Arthur’s spirit had crossed over already. How could he go on without him? Arthur was everything to him._

_oOo_

_The boat with Arthur’s body floated away and Merlin cast the final spell he would ever cast for Arthur. The boat lit with flames and Merlin dropped to his knees._

oOoOoOo

Arthur tossed the crystal to Merlin and turned his back as he went to remove his cloak.

“So there’s nothing to worry about. We’ll just have to find a way to return it to the vaults so father doesn’t notice anything.” Arthur said going to pour himself a cup of wine.

“Arthur…” Merlin gasped.

“Hmm? What?” Arthur asked and went to his table, spotting a few unread scrolls on the table. Silence answered and Arthur frowned. “Merlin?” He turned to see Merlin holding the crystal with shaking hands, staring at it, tears rolling down his face as he sobbed.

“Arthur…” He repeated, mournfully, sobbing miserably, unable to look away from the crystal.

“Merlin!” Arthur ran to his side and tried to pry the crystal from Merlin’s hands, but a zap made him pull back.

“Arthur… no…” Merlin whispered, more tears streaming down his face until finally Merlin curled into himself, holding the crystal close to his chest as he wept quietly.

“Merlin, I’m here.” Arthur said gently, reaching to cup his cheek, but Merlin didn’t respond, eyes distant, trapped in whatever horrible vision that crystal had cast in his mind.


	13. Chapter 13

Arthur went into a panic, shaking Merlin’s shoulders. “Merlin! Snap out of it!” He yelled and slapped him. The sound rang in Arthur’s ears but Merlin’s eyes didn’t focus on the now.

Merlin kept crying, crying as if he would never stop. It was a throaty sound that made Arthur’s eyes prickle with humidity.

He moved back and looked around. He needed Morgana... and Gaius!

He turned to Merlin first. “Come on, Merlin.” He said softly, getting him in a position where he could dress him. It was difficult but Arthur did his best, making him neat and presentable. In the end, Merlin simply curled into himself on top of the covers and cried, the cursed crystal still held firmly against his chest.

His heart squeezed at being unable to help Merlin with the pain he was feeling. He leaned down and kissed the top of his head, pressing their foreheads together.

“I will make it better, you’ll see.” He stood up and left with orders that no one should enter his room.

oOoOoOo

Morgana hummed to herself as she brushed Mordred’s hair, Gwen organising the room around them.

“Now, Mordred, remember, no one can know about your magic here. Be extra careful with Gwen, since she’s my maid.” Morgana whispered and Mordred nodded.

The door burst open and Arthur stormed in. “Morgana! Merlin’s trapped in the crystal’s enchantment! I don’t know what to do, I’ve tried taking it away from him but I can’t! He won’t wake up. I didn’t even realise his magic was probably powerful enough to wield the crystal and I just threw it at him! He won’t let go! He’s not responding! What was Alvarr thinking? He was planning to get the child to wield it!” Arthur wouldn’t let Morgana even put a word in.

Arthur started pacing and turned and finally shut up when he saw Gwen staring at them horrified.

“Gwen?” Arthur said surprised.

“Arthur? Wh-what’s happening?” She asked. Morgana felt her heart race with fear and pulled Mordred’s back against her, hugging him tight.

“Gwen… please…” Morgana whispered.

“Merlin has magic?” Gwen asked softly. Yes, that part was as much news to Morgana as it was to Gwen. “And Mordred too?” She frowned trying to understand.

“I do too, Gwen… We were born with it. We couldn’t help it.” Morgana said softly. Gwen looked ashen at that.

“My lady? You? But… no… I’ve been with you for years.” She said softly.

“I know… but it kept getting stronger until… until I was too scared of it.” Morgana said softly.

“Gwen… you mustn’t tell anyone about this, please.” Arthur said.

“And what about you? Do you have magic, your highness?” Gwen asked, stepping back when Arthur tried to get closer.

“No… I do not.” Arthur said. “Please Gwen… we have to help Merlin. You mustn’t tell anyone.” Arthur said.

Gwen looked down and took a deep breath. “Merlin has always been there for me… as has my lady. Of course I won’t say anything Arthur.” She said gently. Morgana felt the tension in her shoulders fade away. “But what’s wrong with Merlin?”

oOoOoOo

Arthur returned to his room followed by Morgana and Mordred. Gwen followed a few minutes later with Gaius in tow. Merlin lay on his side, still weeping mournfully.

“What happened?” Morgana asked trying to reach for the crystal, but was zapped away. “Ouch!”

“All he says is my name when he _does_ speak.” Arthur said softly.

“Arthur! What… this is magic.” Gaius said with worry. “So this is why Merlin’s been so secretive. You know of his magic.” Gaius said softly, staring at Arthur.

“I only found out very recently.” Arthur said and Gaius rushed to check on Merlin, pausing as he saw his mother’s ring on Merlin’s index finger.

“I’ll try and talk to him.” Mordred said and came closer to Merlin, staring intently at him.

“You? What are you doing back here child?” Gaius said, clearly the first time he’d seen Mordred since he’d returned. Clearly Gaius had better memory than his father, but then again, Uther had never gotten a good look of Mordred in the first place.

Mordred didn’t reply, eyes focused on Merlin who released a mournful wail and sobbed harder. The sound made Arthur’s eyes burn. “He’s gone… he’s gone.”

Mordred turned to Arthur. “He saw your death.” He said.

“But I’m right here.” Arthur said.

“That’s the crystal of Neahtid, how did you get it? It’s supposed to be sealed in the vaults!” Gaius said, standing back exasperated. “Sire, you must explain what is going on.” Gaius spoke to him and Arthur took a deep breath.

“We stole it.”

“Why?” Gaius didn’t understand.

“To aid the cause against my father.” Arthur said bitterly.

Gaius took a step back. “Treason?”

“Don’t act so surprised, Gaius, harbouring a young sorcerer falls just as much under that tag as my actions.” Arthur said and Gaius looked at Merlin and sighed.

“You can’t do this, Arthur, you’d help kill your father to become king? That’s not the way things are done.” Gaius said.

“Why not? My father didn’t inherit this kingdom, he won it. As will I to end his reign of terror on those innocents born with magic or who use it for no ill purpose.” Arthur said.

“That’s still murder, sire.” Gaius said.

“So is what he has had me do again and again with the countless druid settlements I have been sent to destroy since I reached my seventeenth summer.” Arthur growled. “I’ll never have my hands clean, but with him gone at least they won’t get any darker!”

“I must report this to the king.” Gaius said. “Surely you understand.”

“No, Gaius, I don’t. You tell him and you’ll send Merlin straight to the pyre. As well as Morgana, as well as the child, as well as I.” Arthur said and Gaius sat.

“Of course I won’t do that… but what will you do about the crystal?” Gaius said. “You don’t even know what it does! How could Merlin have been so irresponsible to hold a magical artefact he has no knowledge of?” Gaius said.

Arthur looked down with guilt. “That was my fault… I threw it at him.” He said. Gaius gave him that disapproving look he’d caught him sending Merlin a couple of times and felt like a small child all over again.

“This is what happens when you play with magic you have no knowledge of.” Gaius said.

“Well…” Mordred spoke and they turned to look at him. “It’s supposed to show the future but… Alvarr wasn’t sure how it worked exactly.” Mordred said, swaying nervously on the spot.

“Who knows how it works?” Gwen asked.

“My sister is high priestess, we could ask her.” Morgana said.

“Sister?” Gwen said surprised.

“Morgause.” Morgana said and smiled apologetically as Gwen had to sit down.

“Need I remind you, my lady, that Morgause tried to kill Arthur in tournament?” Gaius asked and Morgana smirked at Arthur.

“And beat him she did.” Morgana said and Arthur rolled his eyes.

“She used magic, I just know it.”

Morgana scoffed in response. “Always the sore loser, _little brother_.”

“Always the annoying wench, _dearest sister._ ”

“Brother? Sister? What?” Gwen spoke again, looking pale now as well as very confused.

“Dear lord… it’s all out in the open now, isn’t it.” Gaius said, sitting himself down beside Gwen, looking as ashen as her though for very different reasons.

“Before we go to Morgause, we have to speak to the dragon.” Arthur said.

“Dragon?!” Morgana and Gwen exclaimed, while Mordred sounded excited, eyes full of wonder.

“Of course…” Gaius said, rubbing his temples. Arthur sighed and explained.

“So we have to smuggle Merlin, to the dungeons, past all the staff, past the guards, to the depths of the dungeon and then back out again?” Gwen asked.

“It may be our only choice. You don’t have to come, I’ll take Merlin.” Arthur said.

“I’m definitely going.” Morgana and Gwen said simultaneously and Mordred nodded.

“There is another route out of the cave, if you ask the dragon. I will stay and try to distract Uther… perhaps mention a last minute hunting trip you went to with Morgana. I’m sure seeing you two get along will soothe his concerns.” Gaius said.

“Um… I don’t think-” Mordred started.

“Sounds perfect, let’s go pack.” Morgana said.

oOoOoOo

They prepared for a bit of a trip. Morgana packed with Mordred’s help while Gwen helped Arthur with his armour.

“He’s absolutely heart broken.” Gwen said gently as she tightened Arthur’s shoulder strap, watching Merlin as she worked. “I knew he was a loyal friend but…”

“We’re not just friends anymore.” Arthur said gently, watching Merlin cry. Gwen paused and looked up at him.

“Arthur…”

“I know it’s unusual, but I love him.” Arthur said softly.

“Arthur… when you asked me… I said no because a servant and the prince could never be. But a _male_ servant and the crown prince are even more out of bounds.” Gwen said softly.

Arthur smiled softly and looked at Merlin. “Well, it seems, that the heart has no such bounds... nor does the old religion.”

“What would your father say?” Gwen said softly.

“Before or after he hears his castle is harbouring three powerful sorcerers? One of which is his own daughter. It was _he_ who put us in this situation in the first place.” Arthur asked.

Gwen pressed her lips together before sighing. “Well said, your highness.” She said politely and Arthur smiled at her, as she finished and handed him his sword.

oOoOoOo

They waited till sundown, an hour before the guard change. So at least the guards would be a little bit more tired.

“Come on Merlin.” Arthur said, forcing Merlin to his feet, having to support him. The only blessing they had was that Merlin was a silent crier.

They made it to the dungeons, where Arthur paused. Now what? Merlin would always put the guards to sleep before but now he couldn’t even stand upright.

He looked down at the boy who looked up almost knowingly. “Mordred, can you put them to sleep?” Arthur asked.

“I don’t know any sleeping spells. I… haven’t learned many spells yet.” He mumbled.

“Let’s see… what was it that Merlin… Swefe nu, that’s what Merlin always says. Does that help?” Arthur whispered. Mordred brightened up and nodded, leaning over the railing, concentrating deeply and extending his hands.

“ _Swefe nu!_ ” Mordred yelled startling them all. The guards jumped but instantly swayed and fell to the ground. Mordred looked up, bright eyes and smiling. “I did it!”

“You did! Well done.” Morgana said and Arthur nodded, wondering if Merlin ever got such reassurance when learning his magic.

“Let’s hurry!” Gwen whispered.

oOoOoOo

The dragon sat looking quite bored until Arthur appeared with the rest of the group. “I may have spoken to you, young Pendragon, but don’t doubt for a second I won’t burn you all to a crisp if you’re here to gawk at the Great Dragon in chains.”

“That’s not why we’re here, dragon.” Arthur said although Mordred very much seemed to be gawking. He pulled Merlin’s hood down and showed the crystal in his hands. The dragon stared closely and frowned.

“He is trapped in the crystal’s vision.” The dragon said.

“So it really shows the future?” Arthur whispered. If this was how he was going to leave Merlin when he died… Arthur wouldn’t be able to bear it.

“Perhaps, someday, young Pendragon. But the crystal doesn’t show the definitive future. It shows the future the seer most fears. For those untrained to the crystal’s tricky nature, the vision can be so horrific that it traps the seer in it until they waste away from lack of food and water.”

“Why would anyone ever use anything like that?” Morgana asked horrified, holding Mordred protectively against her.

“If your worst fear is that the knights of Camelot might attack, you’d be able to see exactly when they would come, from where, and how many.” The dragon said simply. “I believe, the day Uther won this crystal from the high priestesses, the seer that used it was found trapped in the horror of a vision.” The dragon said. “Otherwise, they would have escaped.”

“How was she freed?” Arthur asked.

“She was killed, Pendragon.” The Dragon said and Arthur huffed.

“So how do I free Merlin without killing him?” Arthur demanded.

“You must seek a high-priestess of the old religion. She must finalise your union.” The Dragon said.

“Finalise? How? I thought we already gave ourselves to each other.” Arthur said.

“In mind, in body, but not in soul. Not entirely, at least.” The dragon said. “When you seek the high-priestess she will need to perform a hand fasting ritual, and re-join your souls as one.”

“ _Re_ -join?” Arthur asked.

“You also need my fire.” The dragon said. “I must be present in the ceremony. You must free me so I can assist with the binding of souls.”

Arthur stared at the dragon then looked at everyone else who looked petrified at the thought. Arthur looked back up. “How do I free you?” He asked.

“There _is_ something that Merlin gave you last night.” The dragon said. “You must cast a spell that will set me free. It can only be Merlin who casts it… but the magic he released to you should be enough to free me. Will you do it?”

“I… I don’t even know if I can… I’ve never even considered… performing sorcery myself.” Arthur said. Could he really do it? Merlin might be strong enough to possess it, Morgana was always pure of heart and a seeker of justice, Mordred was an innocent child with a hard start in life… how could Arthur compare to them to trust that the magic won’t corrupt _him?_ ”

“I will show you… step closer.” Arthur stepped further ahead and everyone else stepped back.

“A-Arthur…” Gwen whispered in fear.

“I’m alright, Gwen.” Arthur said softly and the dragon took a deep breath in. Arthur closed his eyes and held Merlin closer. He’ll do it for him.

He felt cold air surround him, drowning everything else as whispered words repeated again and again until his mind could never forget them. He felt a pull inside him, under his skin, and felt shaky at the strange sensation as the dragon stopped.

“How do I know you won’t turn on us and harm Camelot?” Arthur asked once he could figure out how to speak again.

“Because now you understand that we share the same enemy.” The dragon said and Arthur passed Merlin onto the care of Morgana and Gwen.

He followed the stone steps down to the heavy chains of the dragon. He let the dragon’s words, ringing in his head, to guide him as he drew his sword and held it high. This wasn’t going to work. He was no sorcerer.

 _“You were born of magic.”_ Ygraine’s voice whispered and Arthur flinched looking around. He frowned rubbing his forehead. His head was hurting already.

“Do it, Arthur Pendragon, king that will be.” The dragon rumbled, but it sounded distant.

Arthur gripped the sword tighter. “ _Ic Bedeode thisne swurd thaet he forcearf tha briede thara dracan.”_ Arthur’s skin began to glow with the same light that Merlin had passed onto him. It felt warm, soothing, powerful and safe. “ _Un clyse!_ ” His eyes burned with magic.

His sword clashed onto the chains and with a burst of light, the chains turned to dust, releasing the dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: On Monday or Tuesday most likely.


	14. Chapter 14

The dragon growled deep in his chest and stretched his wings, taking a deep breath. “Climb onto my back.” The dragon said. Arthur put his sword away after he managed to slow down his racing heart and rushed to Morgana to get Merlin.

“Let’s go.” Arthur said and paused as he watched Morgana climbing the dragon. Gwen helped Mordred climb and Morgana helped pull him up the rest of the way. Something was different. As Arthur watched Gwen start climbing, he noticed Merlin wasn’t making any sounds.

He turned to look at him. Merlin still held the crystal against his chest, but while his tears had dried, leaving his eyes red and his face tear stained, his eyes were staring far away, anger and hurt flickering in his expression. Merlin was still trapped in the vision… but something had changed. Arthur couldn’t understand how exactly.

“Arthur.” The dragon called. Arthur turned his attention back to the dragon and with the help of the ladies (and the dragon using his deadly muzzle to push Merlin up), they managed to get him onto the dragon’s back, safely held by Arthur around the waist.

“Sire! My lady!” Arthur turned, looking up shocked at Sir Leon, who stared at them horrified.

“I shall kill him.” The dragon said and took a deep breath, light making his mouth glow.

“No! He’s a good and honest knight!” Arthur yelled.

The dragon growled but expanded its wings anyway, taking into the air, sweeping in. All Arthur heard was Leon’s yelp of horror. Considering Leon could still be heard yelling and struggling even underneath the dragon as he took off, Arthur could only guess the knight was also coming along for the ride.

The caverns ran deep under Camelot and opened up to a large field away from the city and away from prying eyes.

By then Leon seemed to have quieted down although he could still be heard struggling suddenly at times.

Arthur noticed they crossed the boarder into the neighbouring kingdom. “Where is Morgause, Morgana? Are we going in the correct direction?” Arthur asked.

“Morgause is in Essetir.” Morgana said. “I know where she normally meets me but… she may not be there right now. When we land I can send a message for her.” Morgana said.

Arthur held Merlin up against his chest as he felt Merlin relax. He’d fallen asleep. He hoped they would get there soon.

The ruins where Morgana seemed to meet with Morgause were not that far away from where she’d shown him his mother.

“Arthur?!” Leon yelled as the dragon released him and he scrambled back, taking out his sword. Arthur quickly climbed off the dragon, taking out his own sword.

“Stand down Sir Leon.” Arthur said. Leon was still gaping from his prince to the dragon and back again.

“How did the great dragon break free, your highness? We must tell the king! What… why were you riding it?” Leon asked confused.

“Leon, I don’t want to fight you, put the sword away.” Arthur said, approaching slowly. Leon seemed to be in a slight state of shock, which allowed Arthur to take the sword away with barely a flinch from the knight.

Leon seemed to take in Arthur’s lack of concern and finally turned his attention to the Great Dragon who had reached back and pinched the back of Merlin’s coat with its mouth and picked him up the way a kitten would be transported by its mother. The dragon lowered Merlin into his arms and Arthur held him close as Merlin sagged against him.

“What’s wrong with Merlin?” Leon asked. Morgana approached.

“I’ll explain the best I can, Sir Leon.” She said and took a still shocked Leon to the snow covered ruins, to what Arthur could only imagine would be Morgause’s shelter.

Gwen looked uncertain whether to stay or go, but eventually followed Morgana and Mordred into the ruins.

Arthur looked up at the dragon. “Can Morgause be trusted?” He asked.

“I highly doubt it. You shouldn’t be surprised to find few allies from those that practice magic.” The dragon said.

“Won’t you be cold? Out here?” Arthur asked. The dragon gave a short laugh as he curled up on the ground, the snow melting around him.

“I will be fine, Arthur Pendragon. I will soak in the sky that has been denied to me these last twenty years.” The dragon said and stared up, watching the sky bleed into reds and oranges as the sun set and the first stars began to rise.

The air came cold, so Arthur decided to leave the dragon here and help Merlin inside.

Leon seemed still frozen with mixed feelings, looking as if he was processing again and again what Morgana had said to him. Regardless, Arthur knew he did not have to worry about him. There was a fire in the centre of the small room that despite the many drafts and lack of solid walls did not seem to allow the air to enter and flow through, keeping the warmth inside.

As they made themselves comfortable to wait for Morgana’s sister, Arthur uncorked the water skin and brought it to Merlin’s mouth.

“Come on, Merlin. You need to drink something.” Arthur said. Merlin didn’t respond. Arthur reached to caress the other’s face, forgetting where they were for a minute.

Morgana reminded him by clearing her throat and he turned to see Leon and Gwen keeping their gazes on the fire, Morgana looking mildly amused at Arthur forgetting they were all there, and Mordred just stared openly, like children are quick to do.

Arthur sighed and simply decided to make Merlin comfortable, in the hopes that he would sleep. Gwen managed to make them all a small something to eat from what they’d brought with them, and soon after they went to sleep, no one keeping guard, considering there was a giant dragon outside doing that for them.

oOoOoOo

_Merlin opened his eyes, dazed, everything around him was blurry. He could see a fire. Morgana lay near it with Mordred sleeping beside her. Gwen was nearby and across from her was Leon, leaning against a wall, sword close to hand._

_Merlin felt something cold in his hand, calling to him and something warm wrapped all around him. It took him a while to realise they were Arthur’s arms holding his back flush against Arthur’s chest. His hand held onto Merlin’s own, rubbing smooth circles every so often with his thumb. Merlin could feel his warm breath against his ear and wished he could turn around. He wanted to see him. See his eyes, his face, his kind smile. His heart ached with grief._

_Arthur was dead. This was a memory, or a vision, who knows. But it wasn’t real. Tears burned in his eyes once more._

_“Emrys…” Merlin looked at Mordred across the fire, his eyes focused on him. “Release the crystal, Emrys. Arthur is alive.” Mordred said into his mind, ringing in the distance of his consciousness._

_“No… he’s gone… he’s gone. It’s my fault.” Merlin replied._

_“He’s not! He’s alive! You need to let go of the crystal.” The child said._

_“You killed him.” Merlin said and Mordred flinched, eyes wide and soon filled with tears. The crystal rang louder and Merlin closed his eyes, succumbing to his reality._

oOoOoOo

Arthur was pulled out of his sleep as he heard a child’s muffled wail. He frowned sitting up, as did Morgana and soon everyone else looked over at Mordred in concern.

“Mordred? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Morgana asked worried, trying to uncover Mordred’s face. Arthur came closer and knelt beside him, placing his hand on his shoulder.

“What’s the matter child?” Arthur asked with a frown.

“Bad dream…” That was his only explanation. “I’m sorry.” He seemed to add at the end and it didn’t make any sense to Arthur.

“Don’t be sorry…” Morgana said gently, hugging him, petting his hair to soothe him.

He was soon back asleep and Arthur looked at Merlin. “Any signs of Morgause?” He asked Morgana.

“She’s close.” She said.

oOoOoOo

Arthur went with Morgana, following her into the snow-covered forest. The full moon lit the night, reflected on the snow.

“Sister…” Morgause said, looking confused and surprised between Arthur and Morgana.

“It’s alright, Morgause… Arthur wants Uther gone as much as we do.” Morgana said.

“I _highly_ doubt he wants him gone just as much. Arthur is a noble prince, a noble knight. Treason is not in his language.” Morgause said, beginning to circle Arthur. “Why _are_ you here? Arthur?” Morgause asked.

“Merlin is trapped in the crystal of Neahtid’s vision. I need you to perform a hand-fasting ceremony to help us break him free of it.” Arthur said.

“Sister, congratulations, though I would have thought you’d choose a… different suitor.” Morgause said.

“Uh… no.” Morgana laughed faintly, with very little humour.

“Merlin... and _I_ need the hand-fasting ceremony.” Arthur said.

Morgause’s eyes widened slowly and the amusement was barely hidden in her expression. “Oh, this _is_ precious.” Morgause said. “What _would_ Uther Pendragon say to that, I wonder.” Morgause said and gave off a delighted laugh. “Do you even understand what a hand-fasting entails? You’d be bound in a union more sacred than marriage. You want to be this close to your… _manservant_?” She asked.

“Yes.” Arthur said simply. “I’ll do anything to keep Merlin safe.”

“Even bind yourself to him without his consent? If he’s in the crystal’s vision, he can’t consent.”

“It must be done.” Arthur said.

“Truly your father’s son.” Morgause said and Arthur flinched, looking away.

“Morgana and I both know now, what Uther did to your mother. Believe me that I am as disgusted as you knowing what he’s capable of.” Arthur said. Morgause’s amused smile was still on her face but her eyes turned steely.

“I’ll perform the hand-fasting ceremony. Show me the servant.” She said. She froze when she saw the dragon and turned to them. “ _Oh_. You want a _proper_ hand-fasting ceremony. Well… that truly is… surprising… I suppose being you, you’d need the dragon’s blessing.” Morgause eyed him up and down in a strange way before laughing and continuing into the refuge.

Arthur frowned in confusion, but the dragon offered no explanation, only a self-satisfied smirk and Arthur began to have a bad feeling about this whole thing.

oOoOoOo

They arrived to the circular stone formation Morgana walked with Morgause.

“You promised me you’d help me destroy Camelot, Morgana.” Morgause said softly.

“I will… I… We’ll end Uther and Arthur will be king. He’ll bring magic back to Camelot.” She said gently.

Morgause turned to her. “You can’t trust him, Morgana. He has murdered hundreds of us on his father’s orders.” She said looking over to where Arthur stood, adjusting Merlin’s cloak around his shoulders. “I don’t know what spell he’s trapped under, but soon he’ll awaken and continue his father’s ways.” Morgause said.

Morgana shook her head. “It’s not a spell. He cares for Merlin. He knows not all who practice magic are evil.” Morgana said.

oOoOoOo

_Merlin blinked. Everything blurred once more. Arthur was gone. But he could still feel him all around him. Up ahead was Morgana, talking to… Morgause?_

_He let his magic burn in his eyes as he listened in._

_Morgause shook her head. “Morgana… you are destined to be Arthur’s enemy. No man can escape his destiny.” She said._

_“Then it’s a good thing that I am not a man.” Morgana smiled and kissed Morgause’s cheek, coming toward them. “We’re ready.” Morgana said and took Mordred’s hand, leading him closer to the centre._

_Arthur took his hand and Merlin turned to look at him, seeing him for the first time since these strange dreams begun. The crystal rang loudly and Arthur disappeared, but he could still feel his warm hand holding onto his, like a cruel punishment from the gods._

_Merlin walked toward Morgause, pulled by his hand. To his right stood a sad Mordred, keeping his eyes on the ground while he held Morgana’s hand. To his left stood a bewildered Leon, a conflicted Gwen and one smug dragon._

_But there was something else. Merlin could feel it, in his core. Something all around them, coming closer as Morgause took out a dark red cloth and began wrapping it around his wrist._

_The surrounding presence crept closer and something pierced the air. He turned in its direction and let his eyes glow, raising both his hands and raising a shield. The binding sash fell loose on the snow, right on top of the crystal of Neahtid._

_The shield caught every arrow that flew their way._

_The blurriness of his vision began to fade away._

_Cenred’s men stormed from the trees with a war cry. Morgana turned to Morgause. “You called them! How could you sister?” Morgana yelled._

_“I will not allow the Pendragon line to continue to butcher us into extinction!” She yelled._

_Morgause glared beside Merlin. He turned to see Arthur. Morgause lunged with a knife. Merlin didn’t have time to react. He got in the way and she dug the blade deep into Merlin’s stomach._

_“MERLIN!” Merlin shuddered, falling back against the strong arms holding him as his senses all returned._

oOoOoOo

“AH! D-don’t move me… don’t.” Merlin begged as he was held. He grunted, looking up and having his breath taken away as he saw Arthur, alive and well. Like waking up from a nightmare, the raw emotions were still there, it all felt so real, but now his mind was clear to see the truth.

“Merlin… We need to escape.” Arthur said and scooped him up like one would a damsel in distress. It still sent excruciating pain through Merlin. There was a roar and Merlin saw the great dragon blast Cenred’s men with fire, buying them all enough time to climb back onto the dragon.

“Morgana!” Morgause yelled but Morgana didn’t return to her sister. Soon they were up in the air and Arthur cursed the sky, while Merlin tried to stay very, very still, every twitch sending a current of pain through him. Morgana handed something to Arthur and Arthur brought it over his soaking wound, pressing hard and making Merlin see stars.

“AHH!”

“What now? We need a healer!” Arthur yelled.

“There is someone else who could help… though I was hoping I wouldn’t have to see the man who betrayed me so soon.” The dragon said.

“Who’re we going to see?” Gwen asked.

“A man called Balinor.” The dragon said. The name meant nothing to Merlin, so he took his time to ask a more pressing question.

“Can someone, please, explain what on _Earth_ is going on?” Merlin yelled. He was ignored.

“Arthur, we must return to Camelot! What will the king say?” Merlin heard Leon exclaim.

“We cannot return to Camelot yet! We need a healer now! We’re going to see this Balinor.” Arthur said and pressed harder on Merlin’s wound, making him cry out once more. “I’m sorry, Merlin.”

Merlin grunted, breathing through clenched teeth. He held Arthur’s forearm crying the hot tears of relief mixed with pain. “I’m just glad you’re alive, you prat.” Merlin groaned and Arthur gave a very short chuckle as he held him tighter. 

Merlin closed his eyes, relishing in the reality of Arthur’s warmth as he tried to ignore the creeping fever from the poisoned blade.


	15. Chapter 15

The dragon landed within Essetir’s forest, in a clearing surrounded by trees and what looked like a frozen stream cutting through it.

“I am too large for the trees, you will have to go without me.” The dragon said as they climbed off of him.

“How do we know we’ll be going in the right direction?” Arthur asked and Merlin winced and grunted as Arthur jolted him by accident. He instantly looked down at him with concern and Merlin panted. He felt so hot, even with all the snow.

“It won’t be hard to find him. He resides in a cavern up ahead. I can feel his presence all the way from over here. No doubt he senses mine too and will be heading this way.” The great dragon turned to look down at him. “When you see him, tell him Kilgharrah has sent you.”

“Sire, considering how trustworthy the last sorcerer we approached was, can you not consider the possibility that this one could be a threat?” Leon asked.

“We have no choice. Unless you want Merlin to die, we should move faster.” Arthur said.

Leon stared at Merlin. Merlin looked at Leon uncertain. Had the other learnt of his magic by now? Did he think him evil? Merlin was about to look away, when he saw concern show in Leon’s face. Leon came to help Arthur by taking Merlin’s other arm and holding it over his shoulder. “Come on, Merlin.”

Merlin grunted. They supported him as they practically dragged him through the snow and through the trees. Despite the pain, he felt great comfort at the thought that Leon seemed to accept him.

oOoOoOo

“I feel something.” Mordred said finally. Arthur tensed as he held Merlin’s shivering body closer. Leon let go and took out his sword, ready to protect them if anything should happen.

A hooded figure approached, two hares over his shoulder. “You! Who are you?” The man called.

Arthur looked at Merlin quickly, seeing his pale face, the cold sweat on his forehead but still alive.

“Are you Balinor?” Arthur asked.

“That man’s passed on.” The man replied. “If you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.” Balinor said, heading straight through where they came from.

“Please, my friend needs help.” Arthur said. “He’s been wounded.” The man hesitated and turned to look at them.

“Then perhaps you should have not trespassed into Cenred’s kingdom, _Arthur Pendragon._ You were asking for trouble and found it.” The man hissed and Arthur began to realise what Arthur meant by not finding an alliance from many magic users out there.

“You’d let a man die?!” Arthur yelled.

“You have your own physicians, don’t you?” Balinor called back. Merlin fell slack in his arms and Arthur panicked and Balinor stopped.

“Merlin? Merlin! No! Open your eyes, come on Merlin.” Arthur yelled.

“Emrys!” Mordred cried out, panic in his child’s voice but it was enough to get Balinor’s full attention.

“Emrys?” Balinor whispered and came over. “Bring him, this way.” Balinor said, leading them further down the frozen stream, toward a well hidden cave. “Lie him there.”

Arthur carefully lay Merlin down on the cloth-covered slab of stone. His face had a death-like paleness to it. Arthur took a deep breath as he tried to control his emotions and concentrate on getting Merlin better.

Balinor opened up Merlin’s coat, the fur ruined from the blood. Arthur had seen plenty of battle wounds in the battlefield. The cut was clean but deep. The bleeding had mostly stopped but it was clear from Merlin’s paleness and rising fever that he was poisoned.

Arthur’s eyes kept flickering from Merlin’s wound, to his face, to Balinor’s face and back again. “Can you help him?” Arthur asked. Balinor turned and began grabbing things from the corner, coming to the fire and beginning to grind herbs to a paste with water and the ash by the fire.

“Do you know who it is you guard, boy?” Balinor asked. “Emrys is said to be the most powerful sorcerer to walk the Earth.” He said. “I would think every Camelot knight, including their prince, would only be too eager to strap him to the pyre.”

“His name is Merlin.” Arthur said simply, watching Balinor work, urging him in his mind to work faster. Balinor didn’t respond but began to treat the wound with the paste, whispering words of the old religion, passing his hands over Merlin, tracing strange symbols all over his body as he went. When he was done, Balinor glanced at Arthur defiantly before moving back and going to set his items down. “Will he be alright?” Arthur asked.

“He will be fine, by morning.” He said and stepped outside to clean his hands with the snow.

Arthur turned to look at Merlin, reaching to caress his face before taking a deep breath and letting go of him, going to sit by the fire. “Mordred, why did you call Merlin by that name?” Arthur asked. Mordred had been behaving strange and Arthur only just now realised the boy was avoiding looking at him. “Mordred? Come on, have I done something?” Arthur asked.

Mordred shook his head.

“Then what is it, I miss hearing you speak, you know?” Arthur teased and Mordred smiled faintly while Morgana caressed the boy’s hair.

“Merlin… said I killed you in his vision.” Mordred mumbled. Arthur glanced at Morgana with mild alarm.

“When did you speak to him?” Arthur asked, trying to stay calm.

“When we were waiting for Morgause.” He said softly, trying to make himself smaller where he sat.

“Mordred… don’t think about that… Merlin was grief stricken.” Morgana said. “We tend to say horrible things we don’t mean when that happens.”

“No, Morgana! The crystal shows the future… I… I don’t want to be bad!” Mordred exclaimed. “I don’t want to be like the knights! I don’t want to be like the king!” Mordred exclaimed, bursting into tears like children his age often do when they’re hurt.

Arthur remembered such a time when he would have cried like that, so freely. Like Merlin had done for him. But Arthur never had a comforting hand to soothe him.

When his father would praise Morgana and shout at him, he would cry in his room, alone, smothering his face into the pillows of a bed much too big for him so no one would hear him cry.

Arthur stared at the child. It struck him that the boy saw the knights of Camelot and the king as absolute evil. Of course he would. He was a child with magic. Beside that, could he tell him what he’d been told again and again until he’d stopped shedding tears? _“Men don’t cry. Strong men, even less so.”_

Merlin was the strongest man he knew. Maybe not physically, but in every other sense. And yet he’d wept miserably for the past three days for Arthur alone. Did Arthur feel he was lesser because of it? No.

“Mordred. Listen to me, Kilgharrah said that the vision only shows the seer’s greatest fears. It might not happen. Who knows what path of our lives would have let us down that route, but I wholly believe that the path Merlin saw will never come to pass.” Arthur said.

“How do you know?” Mordred asked softly. “M-maybe… maybe magic _is_ evil… Maybe… Maybe I was born to hurt others.” He mumbled. Merlin had said something similar to him when he opened up about his magic.

“No. No child is born to hurt others.” Leon added, surprising Arthur by speaking up.

Morgana nodded.

“Magical or not. You are a good boy with a kind heart.” Gwen said.

“As long as you stay true to that, I know there’s no wrong you can do. We all have faith in that.” Morgana finished. The boy smiled and hugged Morgana.

“Merlin…” Mordred started. “The druids call him Emrys, it’s just what we called him in legend… he’s supposed to return magic to all of Albion. He’s supposed to keep us safe.” Mordred said gently.

“And you believe the legend?” Leon asked.

Mordred nodded. “My mother… she’d always tell me when I was scared or when bad things happened… ‘Never fear, Mordred. Emrys will one day come and save us.’” He smiled sadly. “When I saw him for the first time… I knew.” Mordred said, leaning into Morgana’s embrace once more.

“Arthur…” Merlin mumbled and Arthur was at his side in an instant. But Merlin was fast asleep. Arthur took a wet cloth and cleaned his face. “Nnh… Arthur…” Merlin mumbled and Arthur couldn’t resist, leaning forward, kissing him softly, longing to see Merlin healthy and well once more.

A sound made him look up to see Balinor standing there, staring at them, mild surprise seen in his face but then he looked disinterested. “I need answers, Pendragon.”

“Ask.” Arthur said.

“You knew my name. Have you come in your father’s name?” Balinor asked coldly.

Arthur scoffed as he stood and came closer to Balinor. “What business would my father have with you?” He asked.

“I am the last dragon lord. He has been hunting me down since he tricked me into summoning the great dragon to him. Uther betrayed me and imprisoned the great dragon. He _butchered_ all of my kind.”

“We too have known Uther’s cruelty.” Morgana said. Gwen looked down, no doubt remembering her father. Leon, rather, looked away, pretending to clean a smudge on the hilt of his sword as he didn’t include himself to their group. After all, Leon had no qualms with their father. Uther was their king and the knight’s code indicated that he must remain loyal to the king.

“Even you? His precious son?” Balinor demanded. Arthur took a deep breath.

“He’s caused enough suffering.” Arthur said.

“And what ingenious plan did you have? There’s two knights, two women, an injured sorcerer and a child.”

“We also have a dragon.” Arthur said. “It was Kilgharrah that led us to you.” Arthur said. Balinor stared at him.

“Kilgharrah brought you six to me? Why?” He asked with narrowed eyes. Arthur took a deep breath.

“Merlin and I have been… magically married. His powers have been losing control since then. We need a hand fasting ceremony, or Merlin could be exposed in Camelot and father would try to execute him before we’re ready to get him to step down.” Arthur said.

“Magically married. Accidentally. To Emrys.” Balinor said and crossed his arms over his chest. “You took him by force?” He asked.

“No!” Arthur yelled and then felt panic in his chest, because… well… wasn’t it? Merlin had given himself to him to ensure he stayed by his side and kept him safe. Even if he said he consented… was he truly willing?

“Accidental bindings don’t just happen. They’re tied to emotional imbalance in a poorly trained warlock.” Balinor said.

“Merlin has always been quite emotional…” Morgana tried to reason.

“I want the truth! What did you do to this warlock, Arthur Pendragon. Did you think it would be an amusing humiliation for him?” He asked.

“No! I… Merlin was my friend, my manservant. He’s saved me countless times with his magic without me knowing. He’s the most loyal friend I’ve ever known!”

“And I take it that changed when you learned of his magic.” Balinor said.

“No! I… I want Merlin to be safe.” Arthur said. Balinor didn’t seem satisfied. “I was enchanted and was found in bed with a visiting noble lady.”

Balinor scoffed and laughed humourlessly. “Enchanted, yes, I’ve heard plenty young nobles use that excuse before.” He said.

“I was! Nothing happened between us but it was enough to humiliate my father. So he demanded I _use_ my manservant to…” Arthur glanced at Mordred and didn’t continue. The words spoke for themselves for those who knew what he was talking about.

“And the noble prince Arthur did as his father told him.” Balinor said. Shame ate Arthur up and he looked away.

“Merlin was trapped in the crystal of Neahtid’s vision. Kilgharrah said his power needed to be grounded. We needed to complete a binding ritual. But the sorceress we went to betrayed us to Cenred’s men.” Arthur said. “Kilgharrah said you could help.”

“I’ll speak to Kilgharrah myself. I make no promise to help you or your manservant any further.” He said and left. Arthur sat down, shame still eating away at him.

“He’s right. If we weren’t trapped in this situation, we wouldn’t be getting bound.” Arthur said.

“We can’t go back to Camelot with Merlin’s magic out of control.” Morgana said.

“Can’t we? There must be another way to settle his magic. He’s the most powerful warlock to ever walk the Earth.” Arthur said softly looking at Merlin.

“But you love each other.” Gwen said and Arthur flinched. “If we all forget that you’re two men, I think we can all very well see it from long before Lady Vivian visited.” She said.

Arthur turned to look at Merlin’s pale face and reached to hold his hand.

oOoOoOo

Uther was not paying attention to the council meeting. He was far too distracted. It had been three days since his son and _daughter_ left together for a hunting trip. He knew very well Morgana hated hunting. Why would she ever join Arthur for a hunt unless… they were eloping.

That must be why they took so many witnesses. Leon, Arthur’s manservant, his younger brother and the blacksmith’s daughter.

“Enough, we’ll continue discussions tomorrow. You’re dismissed.” Uther said and sighed as the council stood, bowed and left. “Stay behind, Gaius. I must speak with you.” Uther said.

Gaius nodded. “Yes, your majesty?” He asked.

“Three days hunting?” Uther asked. “Hardly appropriate for a lady to sleep on the forest floor for three days.” He said. “Not to mention the covering of snow out there.”

“I’m sure they took refuge in one of the village inns. Perhaps they simply went too far.” Gaius said.

“I want a search party out for them. I’ll also be inviting Lord Godwin and Princess Elena as soon as the snows melt. Arthur will marry.” Uther said. He couldn’t delay their meeting any longer.

“Sire… if I may… why so suddenly?” Gaius asked. Uther took a long drink of his wine. 

“I was wed a year before Arthur’s current age. It is time he married and strengthened the kingdom through this marriage.” He said simply. “I’ll write to them straight away.”


	16. Chapter 16

Balinor took a deep breath at being in the presence of Kilgharrah once more. Kilgharrah too seemed to have missed the presence of a dragon lord, for he inclined his head ever so slightly, despite glaring at him with betrayal in his eyes.

“Kilgharrah. It is good to see you free, old friend.” Balinor said.

“And it is good to see you alive, Balinor.” And Balinor knew, that despite the anger, Kilgharrah meant that, for the both of them understood what it was like to be the last of their kind. “So you’ve met Merlin and Arthur?” Kilgharrah asked.

“Emrys and the son of Uther. Yes.” Balinor said. “Though why you bring them to me I do not know.”

“Emrys and the once and future king, Arthur.” Kilgharrah clarified and Balinor took a deep breath.

“The prophecy is coming true?” He asked.

“The prophecy has proven very strange indeed. I never expected their bond to mean that they would join as one.” Kilgharrah said. “But… this could prove advantageous to you and I, Balinor.” The dragon said.

“In what way?”

“We must bind them with dragon fire. Finish their union. You know what that means, yes?” Kilgharrah said and Balinor looked back in the general direction of Emrys and Arthur.

“The revival of the dragon lords.” Balinor said softly. “But no new branches of dragon lords have been born for thousands of years.”

“What better time to renew the tradition?” Kilgharrah said. “Emrys and the once and future king, fathers to the new branch of dragon lords. Each born with the gift by their own right.”

“How will they agree to it? Emrys has already been forced into this half-union. What makes you think he’ll agree to fathering the next branches of dragon lords?” Balinor asked.

“There’s no use in telling him now, until we get what is needed to create such life. We must bind them together to secure Emrys’ magic. When the time is right, we’ll present them with the chance for an heir. By then they won’t resist the offer.” Kilgharrah said.

Balinor felt uncertain. He was uncertain about lying, or hiding the full truth. “It doesn’t seem right.”

“They can always refuse later on. _Think_ Balinor. With each new dragon lord, a new dragon.” It still seemed too underhanded but if it gave them the chance to revive the dragon lords and with them the dragons, then he would do it. Like Kilgharrah said, Arthur and Emrys could always refuse the offer later on. “It is your _duty_ as a dragon lord to protect and preserve dragon-kind.”

He was right. This was his duty. “Then we shall wed them.” Balinor said.

oOoOoOo

Merlin woke up to the sound of robins outside the cave. The fresh snow made everything bright though everyone else was still sleeping. Merlin did the first thing he always did whenever they were sleeping close to each other. He turned to see if Arthur was alright.

Arthur looked tired but well. Merlin stood quietly and made his way out to take in the morning. He closed his eyes, breathing in the fresh air, the life of the earth, the strength of the air, the heat of the sun, the chill of the ice in the stream. It all flowed with an undercurrent of life that Merlin could always feel but now it was even more intense.

His magic was raging inside him. Merlin felt for his wound to see it completely healed, but his magic still raged. Instead of containing it, Merlin decided to let it loose to see what would happen.

Instantly, a thick heaviness filled the space making Merlin’s ears ring. His eyes burned with magic and he gasped, as if he were breathing for the first time in years.

“Merlin!” He heard in the distance. He turned to see Arthur standing beside Balinor and the heaviness slammed down on the earth hard knocking them both to their knees.  
The snows melted and lush green grass grew in its place.  
The trees brightened with green buds that burst into lush green leaves.  
The stream melted and began to run.  
Flowers bloomed all around them and the wintery world around them became a warm and lush patch of vibrant life.

Merlin looked all around in awe, closing his eyes as his magic began to calm down. Once it was back to normal he felt the will to move return to him and he rushed to Arthur and Balinor’s side.

“Are you alright?” Merlin asked, helping Arthur up. Arthur checked on him, cupping his cheek and looking him all over before turning to look all around once he knew Merlin was well.

“What did you do?” Balinor asked, staring at the warm and humid forest, all around them, finally looking at him in awe.

“Sorry, I just wanted to see what would happen if I let it loose.” Merlin said.

“You’ve been repressing your powers for far too long, Emrys. Your magic was born with you to be used, not hidden away.” Balinor said. “Perhaps when this one’s king, you won’t have such problems.” Balinor added and looked at them both. “Kilgharrah says you need me to help with a handfasting ceremony for you two.”

Merlin’s eyes widened and looked at Arthur. “ _What?_ ” He snapped. “That dream I had with Morgause tying our hands? That was real?” Merlin exclaimed.

“Perhaps I should let you two discuss this.” Balinor said stepping back inside.

Arthur looked at him. “Kilgharrah, the dragon, said it would be the only way to get your magic to settle once more.” Arthur said.

“You… wait. Wait, wait, wait.” Merlin said looking away, trying to recall all that had happened. He himself had planned to complete their union without Arthur noticing. Did this mean the only way to have done that was to get a handfasting ceremony? With the dragon?!

Merlin laughed at his own stupidity. “Merlin?” Arthur asked worried.

“I planned to complete the union without you realising. So you could be free to be with who you loved without thinking of our union.” Merlin said and laughed. “And now it turns out I had to do this whole spectacle?”

Arthur smiled and chuckled. “Well, you should have known that magic isn’t as straight forward as you’d like it to be.” Arthur reached to hold his hand, playing with his mother’s ring, which still rested on Merlin’s index finger. “I still love you, you know.” He said.

Merlin smiled at him, heart racing at the sight of that tender gaze aimed at him. There was no denying it for Merlin. Merlin would waste away into misery without Arthur. The vision had proved that to him. “We’ll finish the union.” Merlin said softly.

“Yes. For your sake. To protect you and your magic.” Arthur said. “But I won’t hold you to any of the demands of a prince’s wife… or husband.” Arthur said.

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked.

“Nothing will change between us. To my father you’ll still be my servant. And… if in the future you find someone to love… I won’t hold it against you.” Arthur said.

“Seriously, that’s what I should be telling you.” Merlin said. “So… we bind but nothing changes, yes?” Merlin asked.

“I already forced you into things once. We’ll do this merely for your safety. Nothing more.” Arthur said, though he couldn’t look at Merlin’s eyes.

“What if I want more?” Merlin braved to ask, being selfish for once.

“Let’s give ourselves time to slow down. Everything is confusing with emotions running high. If we still feel the same in the future… I’ll only be too glad to indulge in more.” Arthur said softly, leaning against him, pressing their foreheads together.

Merlin shuddered, closing his eyes as their lips slowly found each other and they kissed deeply. “Arthur… please… you know I agreed to this, to all of this.” Merlin whispered.

“You did because you thought you had to, to stay by my side.” Arthur said gently.

“It doesn’t change how I feel now.” Merlin said, holding onto him.

“It doesn’t change how it started.” Arthur said. Arthur looked so… guilty, and lonely and Merlin sighed, leaning in, to rest his head on Arthur’s shoulder, hugging him tightly.

“No matter what happens, I won’t stop loving you. So you best be ready for me when the next winter arrives.” Merlin said. Arthur smiled and hugged him back, keeping him close. “You’re my best friend, Arthur. Despite what a cabbage head you are.”

“And you’re mine, Merlin.” Arthur said softly. “Despite what a clumsy servant you are.” They both smiled and pulled back, looking at each other with much more than just friendship.

“Come on then. Let’s get married.” Merlin said.

They walked to Balinor, who was busy admiring some strange flowers by the entrance to the cave while Gwen, Morgana, Leon and Mordred came out, woken by the sudden warmth of the area.

“We’re ready.” Arthur said.

“Excellent.” Balinor said.

“We’re performing the handfasting now.” Merlin explained to the others.

“Great. The king will surely have my head now.” Leon said, rubbing his temples.

Arthur gave Merlin a peck on the cheek and went to speak to Leon. The kiss had sent a warm feeling through Merlin that had nothing to do with the magic he’d released and he struggled to stop himself from smiling.

oOoOoOo

They walked toward Kilgharrah in silence. The contrast between the warm cave and the rest of the forest was telling. After a while, the temperatures cooled and snow met their path.

“I know this is unconventional, sir Leon, but it’s for Merlin’s sake.” Arthur said.

“I don’t doubt your judgement, sire… but you have to understand the king will not take to this kindly if he ever finds out.” He said. “And what about the council?”

“We’re not going to tell him so that means the council too won’t know. There’s no reason for them to find out. And then when I’m king, it won’t be a problem.” Arthur said.

“You keep saying that, sire, but how exactly do you plan to become king? Uther is strong and still very capable. If you plan to kill him, I _have_ to stand against you.” Leon said.

“I won’t do anything dishonourable to obtain the crown. You can have my word on that.” Arthur said.

Leon stared at him and sighed. “Are you sure this is what you want, Arthur? You are not one to often break with tradition.”

“These people are innocent, Leon. I can’t stand aside any longer while my father commits genocide on innocents.” Arthur said. “Can you?”

Leon shook his head, not having to think about it. “Though both treason and genocide goes against the knights code… you are right, Arthur.” He said softly. “But… does that _mean_ you have to _marry_ Merlin?” Leon asked, unable to comprehend it at all.

Arthur gave a determined look that Leon had only seen him do whenever Uther was forbidding him from putting his life at risk for the sake of those lesser than him.

“Yes.”

oOoOoOo

Balinor stood before Kilgharrah.

“We will use red for your binding, do you have such a sash?” Balinor asked.

“Why don’t we cut a strip off your cape, Arthur?” Morgana asked. “Or Leon’s.” She smirked at Leon who frowned at having to ruin his precious uniform.

“Will this do?” Merlin asked, reaching for his neck and taking off his red scarf.

“That will work just fine.” Balinor said, taking the scarf, opening it out to its full length. Merlin looked at Arthur as Arthur stared at what would be their handfasting cord. Not the gold threaded braid from the vaults of Camelot that Uther’s father would have chosen for Arthur. “I ask you now to hold hands.” Balinor said.

Merlin felt his heart race and took a deep breath. Arthur was faster than Merlin in reacting, and caught his hands in his own, caressing the back of Merlin’s hand with his thumb and Merlin felt his heart skip a beat.

“We have joined here, brothers, sisters, to bear witness of this union. We call our mother, the triple goddess, who watches over us all, to give her blessing to the joining of Arthur Pendragon, once and future king and Merlin, made Emrys by her hand.” Balinor spoke strong and deep and his voice soothed Merlin for some unexplained reason. As if he’d somehow heard it before.

“Merlin,” Balinor continued. “Do you consent to be united by dragon fire? Do you consent to receiving the blessing of the dragon kind so that their magic may flow through your veins?” Balinor asked.

Merlin nodded. “I do.”

“And do you, Arthur Pendragon, consent to be united by dragon fire? Do you consent to receiving the blessing of the dragon kind so that their magic may flow through your veins?”

Arthur gave Merlin’s hands a faint squeeze. “I do.”

“Merlin, repeat after me.” Balinor said.

Merlin listened attentively to every word, hoping against all hope, that he wouldn’t get anything wrong. “I, Merlin, take you, Arthur, to be my partner for life and eternity forever more.” Merlin said.

Balinor continued but Arthur was only looking at him. “I, Arthur, take you, Merlin, to be my partner for life and eternity for ever more.” Arthur said. A heaviness fell over all of them. The heavy weight of strong magic that lingered and hovered all around them.

Merlin gave a little gasp and Arthur held his hands tighter. Balinor continued and Merlin repeated as Balinor said. “I do swear, Arthur, to honour, respect and protect you, and seek to never break that honour.”

Arthur took a deep breath and for a second, Merlin could see that Arthur was nervous too. “I do swear, Merlin, to honour, respect and protect you, and seek to never break that honour.”

Balinor draped the scarf round their hands once. “And so, the first binding is made.”

“I will, Arthur, share in your pain and seek to ease it.” Merlin said, the coolness of the binding making everything all the more real. He was marrying Arthur. Maybe not in the ideal sense. It was for Merlin’s safety but… was it? Could Arthur really swear to all this and not want everything that comes with their union?

“I will, Merlin, share in your pain and seek to ease it.” Arthur said and Balinor wrapped the scarf a second time.

“And so, the second binding is made.” Balinor continued this time. “Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?”

“I will.” Merlin and Arthur said together.

“And so, the binding is made.” Another knot. “Will you share each other’s laughter, and look for the brightness in life and all that is good in each other?”

Arthur offered a smile and Merlin laughed softly, which Arthur returned. “We will.” They said.

Balinor tied the final knot. “And so, the final binding is made.” Balinor stepped back and Merlin took comfort from the warmth of Arthur’s hands holding his.  
“Arthur and Merlin, as your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.” Balinor paused and the heaviness in the air began to lift. Merlin began to feel his magic receding, less erratic and calming down inside him.  
“Above are the stars and below you is the earth. Like the stars, your love should be a constant source of light, and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow. May the dragon’s flame bind you now and bless you with its power.” Balinor said.

Kilgharrah leaned in and his mouth glowed red. Arthur looked visibly nervous. Merlin tensed. Kilgharrah released a stream of fire that wrapped around their hands where Merlin’s scarf sat. It didn’t burn as it touched their joined hands. The fire simply passed over their skin, hot but never burning. Merlin’s scarf turned to something akin to molten gold.

Balinor began to incant words of the old religion that washed over them both. Runes became marked over the bindings and Merlin felt strange. Something in his blood roared and awakened before its time.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked with worry. Merlin simply held Arthur’s hands tighter, head low as he breathed fast.

“Something’s wrong!” Morgana exclaimed.

“Stop, what’s happening?” Balinor demanded of the dragon. Kilgharrah finished and the bindings vanished.

Merlin’s knees gave way underneath him and Arthur caught him. “Merlin!”

Merlin felt dizzy but didn’t pass out. “Kilgharrah! What did you do?” Merlin growled, his voice coming out as a full out roar that made the dragon look sheepish and incline his head for a second.

“That feeling will go away soon. Welcome to the world… dragon lord.” Kilgharrah said.

“ _What?!”_ Balinor yelled.

“Merlin is your son, Balinor.” Kilgharrah said. Silence fell over all of them.


	17. Chapter 17

“You lied to me!” Balinor exclaimed.

“I did what had to be done to preserve our kind.” Kilgharrah said. “Since _no one_ was doing it.”

“Wait, what is going on?” Arthur asked.

“I don’t have a son.” Balinor said. “Tell him boy.” Merlin said.

Merlin looked at Balinor and Kilgharrah. “I never met my father. My mother never talks about him. She did say that he left… to keep us safe.” Merlin said.

“Your mother’s name, boy!” Balinor yelled.

“Hunith… I grew up in-”

“Ealdor.” Balinor finished and looked at him for a long time, taking him in. Merlin felt a wave of emotion. His father was the last dragon lord? Then Balinor looked away from Merlin, eyes widening with realisation as he set his eyes on Arthur. “You! You defiled my son!” Balinor exclaimed and blasted Arthur back with magic.

“Stop it! Balinor!” Merlin exclaimed. Arthur took out his sword. “Arthur! Don’t!”

“What is happening now?” Leon asked, taking his sword out nonetheless, standing with Arthur. What ensued was a battle of magic and brute force.

Merlin placed his face in his hands as his father battled his husband alongside Leon.

“Why me?” Merlin whined wincing with concern when both parties landed blows. Morgana and Gwen came to hold Merlin in reassurance.

“Is this what happens at all handfastings?” Mordred asked, looking excited.

Gwen looked at the men fighting with a thoughtful expression. “Well… sometimes.”

“Brilliant!” Mordred said and Morgana smiled with pity as she petted Mordred’s hair.

Arthur brought down a potentially harmful blow. Merlin allowed his eyes to glow and Arthur’s sword drooped with the new added weight. Balinor took his chance and raised his hand to blast Arthur, but Merlin raised his hand and stopped the other’s magic from blasting out. It was a struggle and Merlin felt his hold slipping.

“This is ridiculous!” Merlin exclaimed and stormed forward. “Enough! Stop it!” Merlin yelled, hand still up, eyes still burning.

“I will _not_ stop! This marriage is annulled! I’m cancelling it!” Balinor yelled.

“You cannot. They’ve been bound by dragon fire.” Kilgharrah added.

“You shut up! This is all your fault for lying to me!” Balinor yelled at the dragon.

Merlin released the hold as both men stumbled away from each other slightly. “You really didn’t know about me?” Merlin asked softly. Balinor paused and lowered his hands, which led Arthur and Leon to lower their own swords with hesitation.

“No… I… Uther hunted me down to Ealdor, even though it was beyond his borders. I had no choice but to leave to keep your mother safe.” Balinor said. Merlin nodded, looking at him intently, taking a deep breath. He had a father. “Tell me… did she ever marry?” Balinor asked.

“No.” Merlin said softly. “It was just us until I moved to Camelot.” Merlin said.

“Why Camelot, boy? Uther and his son…” He sent a glare Arthur’s way. “… would have sent you straight to the pyre.”

“I kept my magic secret! And… my powers were getting harder to hide in Ealdor. Mother said Gaius could help me.” Merlin said.

“Gaius? He’s still in Camelot?” Balinor asked and Merlin nodded. “He’s a good man.” He said.

“He is…” Merlin said softly and looked up at Kilgharrah. “Will you two tell me, what on earth happened? Why am I a dragon lord?”

“The magic of dragons already ran through your veins. When Kilgharrah’s magic bound both of you as one, it brought your powers forth early. Usually, a dragon lord’s power passes from father to son when the father dies.” Balinor explained.

“But there’s still something you’re not telling me.” Merlin said. He could sense it. They were being careful what to say, to avoid saying too much, which meant there was more to be said.

“Binding you with dragon fire blesses your children to be all born as dragon lords by their own right. Every time a new dragon lord is born, a new dragon egg is hatched.” Kilgharrah added.

“Children? I can’t have children!” Merlin yelled.

“There are ways for you both to have children of your own together.” Balinor added. “Dragon magic means that there will be no request on lives for sacrifices.”

Merlin didn’t know how to process all of this. How could they possibly have children together? It was the main reason for Merlin to be worried about his and Arthur’s relationship. After all, Arthur needed to have children to inherit the kingdom after him.

“I thought we agreed this would be mentioned at a later date.” Kilgharrah rumbled softly at Balinor who glared at the dragon.

“How could you allow me to do this? My _son_ married to a _Pendragon_!”

“Hang on!” Arthur exclaimed offended.

“Everyone just… shut up.” Merlin said. “Lets all take a breath. My magic is under control and the binding worked perfectly. We will soon be returning to Camelot after this stretched out _hunting_ trip and Uther will be none the wiser.” Merlin said.

“Merlin…” Arthur said.

“Since things are _finally_ going according to plan, can we all just… relax.” Merlin said.

Arthur put the sword away and nodded. “Merlin’s right. We should make peace.” Arthur said, stretching his arm out to Arthur. Balinor didn’t even give him a second glance as he turned away and made his way back to the cavern.

Morgana, Gwen and Mordred began to head back. Leon glanced at both of them and chuckled.

“I guess you both got lucky with the in-laws. _My_ _Lords._ ” He added with a slight bow and following the others back.

“At least someone’s having fun.” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him and reached for his hand.

“Are you sure you feel better?” Arthur asked. Merlin nodded, feeling warm at the concern in Arthur’s voice.

“I am, _husband._ ” Merlin said and watched in wonder as colour rose to Arthur’s cheeks. He laughed. “You’re blushing.”

Arthur looked affronted. “No I’m not.” He said, walking ahead, probably to hide the blush from Merlin.

“Oh yes, you’re definitely blushing.” Merlin said.

“Merlin…”

“Shut up?”

Arthur sent him a fake smile. “Precisely.”

Merlin looked back to see Kilgharrah looking mighty pleased with himself and rolled his eyes at the dragon.

Merlin hid his smile poorly on purpose as he followed Arthur closely. When they made it back to the cave, Balinor was busy glaring daggers at Arthur while he carved on a block of wood that had no shape currently.

Arthur took the hint and soon enough he moved to sit as far away from Balinor as possible.

But Merlin… Merlin didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say to his father now that he’d met him. He came closer hesitantly and sat down in front of him, by the fire.

“What are you making?” Merlin asked softly, trying to sound casual.

Balinor looked at him for a long time before continuing with the block. “It is an amulet I’d never thought I’d carve.” He said.

“I can’t believe I’ve finally met you.” Merlin said softly. Balinor looked at him for a long time.

“I don’t know what it’s like to have a son.”

“Nor I a father.” Merlin said, smiling at the man, who was hesitant to return one. He did offer a faint twitch of the lips before returning to his carving.

Merlin glanced at the others and found them all chatting as Gwen gave out a breakfast. It reminded Merlin that none of them had even taken the time to eat before the handfasting ceremony. As if sensing his gaze, Arthur glanced up and their eyes met. Merlin gathered bravery from the nod Arthur sent his way and turned to look at Balinor.

“I’m sorry… if I’ve disappointed you.” Merlin said.

Balinor released a small chuckle, looking up at him. “Disappointed me? No boy… to know that Emrys himself is my son… is a great honour indeed.” Balinor returned to the carving. “An honour I am undeserving of.”

“I’m not just Emrys…” Merlin said softly. “I for one feel very honoured to be son of the last dragon lord. You saved my life.”

“That poison wouldn’t have killed you.” Balinor said. “There’s no poison in this world that can.”

Merlin frowned, confused. “What do you… mean?”

Balinor looked at him with pity, almost, before looking over to Arthur. “Do you truly love that boy?” He asked.

Merlin’s face flared up at having his _father_ ask that directly. “I was born to serve him.”

“Is that what you think? Perhaps it should be he that kneels to you.” Balinor said. Merlin shook his head, the thought sounding preposterous.

“Arthur will be the greatest king to rule these lands. He’ll bring Albion to a new age.” Merlin said. “This is the way things ought to be.” He looked at Arthur and smiled warmly as he laughed along with Morgana. “And I do love him. I think I always have, in one way or another.” Merlin said looking back to Balinor. “He makes me whole.”

“You have your mother’s smile.” Balinor said. Merlin felt a wave of emotion strike him.

“Do you… still think of her?” He asked.

“Every single day.” Balinor said gently.

“Why didn’t you ever come back?” Merlin asked.

“I didn’t want to put her in any danger. Having me around would only have put her at risk. I thought… if I never returned… at least she would be free to find a life with someone else.” He said.

“Would you come back now?” Merlin asked softly.

“…I think it’s only right.” Balinor said and smiled at him with something akin to pride and Merlin felt warm. He was happy.

But their meeting could not last. By evening they were ready to return to Camelot. They all mounted on Kilgharrah, much to the dragon’s annoyance, and flew to Camelot. They were returned to a clearing nearby under the night sky.

“There are scouts looking for you, Arthur Pendragon. You should be wise to have a good explanation prepared when you return to your father.” Kilgharrah said, looking to the east where he’d spotted a group of knights while they’d been in the air.

“I will, thank you.” Arthur said.

“No, thank you, Arthur, for freeing me.” Kilgharrah said.

Merlin came to Balinor, who remained by Kilgharrah. “Where will you go now?” He asked.

“I’ll visit Ealdor. I think… Hunith and I must speak.” Balinor said and handed him the figurine he’d been carving. A small dragon. Merlin looked at it in wonder, considering the man had only had a few hours to do it.

He came closer and made some motions with his hands, coming to trace his thumb over Merlin’s forehead, speaking a blessing of the old religion. “ _I grant a father’s blessing on you. Child of mine. My son of name Merlin. Keep safe, keep strong.”_

Merlin’s eyes brightened with tears. “Is that…?”

“The amulet, is a gift for the new-born child. A father’s blessing to name him and claim him as his. It’s a little late… but the power is still there in the words. Believe me Merlin, I would have claimed you as my own the instant I’d known about you.” He said.

Merlin couldn’t hold back anymore and hugged Balinor tightly, trying to blink the tears away but they came all the same. Balinor didn’t disappoint with his hug and wrapped him tight in his arms, a comforting hand on his head.

“I’m so proud to call you my son, Merlin. You’re a strong, kind and resilient young man. Be careful around Uther.”

“I will… Thank you, father.” Merlin said. Merlin wished he could have had more time with his father, but they had to part ways. Even if it was night, they were in Camelot. They couldn’t risk anyone seeing the dragon flying free.

Balinor and Kilgharrah flew off into the night and Merlin watched them go. Arthur came and took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Are you alright?” Arthur asked gently.

“I’m… happy.” Merlin said, looking at Arthur. Arthur reached up and wiped away the cold tears form Merlin’s face and leaned in to kiss him. “Hey… how did you free the dragon?” Merlin asked.

“…I used magic.”

Merlin’s eyes widened, opening his mouth and shutting it up again. There was no way that was true. Arthur _Pendragon_ used magic?

“No you didn’t.” Merlin chuckled.

“Uh, I’ll have you know, I was quite good at it too.” Arthur said.

“Arthur… did you really?” Merlin whispered, unable to contain the shock.

“In all honesty, it seems you… _passed_ some of your magic to me… it was enough to break the chains.” Arthur said.

Merlin still stared at him. “…how was it?”

“…Surprisingly… average. Nothing evil about it.” Arthur said and Merlin smiled at that. He was about to lean in and kiss him, but the sound of approaching horses made Merlin pull back.

The group of knights arrived promptly once they realised they’d finally found the prince and lady.

“Prince Arthur, Lady Morgana. His majesty the king was concerned about your hunting trip.” One said.

“Indeed we have some troubling news for my father. We must return as soon as we can.” Arthur said, acting as normal as always. There were no spare horses, so three of the knights dismounted to surrender the horses to them. They went in pairs. Morgana with Gwen, Mordred with Leon and Merlin with Arthur. They were escorted by the remaining knights and arrived at the castle deep in the night.


	18. Chapter 18

Merlin walked slightly behind Arthur as they entered the palace once more. Morgana walked beside Arthur, arms entwined as they approached Uther’s chambers. He seemed to be wide awake despite the late hour.

“Finally, you’re all here.” Uther said, standing, looking as stern as always. “Well, where is it?” Uther asked with a smile.

“Where’s what, your majesty?” Morgana asked confused. Uther chuckled and approached slowly, making Merlin nervous.

“Where’s the catch of this magnificent hunting trip?” Uther asked. “Sir Leon? Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

Leon tensed but his mouth remained shut.

“We were ambushed father. Cenred’s men attacked us.” Arthur said and the humour vanished from Uther’s face.

“They came into our border?”

“We were hunting far too close to the border. We heard there was a large herd of deer in the vicinity. I thought it would have been a good place to start for Morgana, since she’d never shown interest in hunting before.” Arthur said.

“We managed to escape, thankfully.” Morgana said with a deep sigh of relief and she smiled coming forward to take Uther’s hands. “Oh sire, you have no idea how pleased I am to finally be back.”

Uther stared at all of them, as if looking for the truth. Merlin looked down when the king looked at him, and kept his hand behind his back, where Ygrain’s ring still glimmered with the candle light of the room. Uther finally sighed and smiled at Morgana.

“I’m glad you’re both safe. I’ll inform the council immediately. The peace treaty with Essetir is over.” Uther said nodded. “You should all get some rest.” They all turned to leave. Everyone let out a sigh of relief once they were out the door.

Mordred yawned and Merlin looked at him. _“You ok?”_ Merlin asked.

 _“I’m tired.”_ Mordred answered back, neither of their mouths moved. Merlin reached up and ruffled his hair.

“Go get some sleep.” Merlin said. Mordred looked up at him with a smile filled with hope and Merlin frowned, wondering why.

“Goodnight.” Mordred said, led away by Morgana.

“Arthur,” Morgana called and Arthur turned to meet her eyes.

“Goodnight, sis—uh… Morgana.” Arthur said and she smiled.

“Goodnight, Arthur.”

“And goodnight to everyone too.” Leon said suddenly, crossing their line of sight, marching straight away. Gwen smiled and gave them a small curtsy before following Leon into the depths of the night.

Merlin watched them go and followed Arthur to his rooms in silence. Once there, Arthur placed his sword and belt on the table and looked at some parchment with a pensive look on his face.

Merlin approached slowly, reaching to start undoing his armour. Arthur went still as Merlin did the normal task of undoing the clasps, placing the items on the table, taking the load off from his prince’s shoulders. Like a normal servant. Except this was anything but normal. Merlin was slow but purposeful, being more careful with the armour than usual.

Arthur turned to look at him and Merlin kept his eyes locked onto his for as long as possible while still removing the armour. Soon all parts were assembled on the table and Merlin turned to Arthur.

“Shall I prepare a bath for you, _my lord_?” Merlin spoke Arthur’s title in a way he’d never before and Arthur finally seemed to snap, storming over, pulling him into a hungry kiss.

Merlin shuddered and moaned against Arthur’s mouth, wrapping his arms around him to hold him closer as they savoured each other. When they broke apart for air, they pressed their foreheads together.

“I don’t want to rush us.” Arthur whispered.

“You’re not.” Merlin said. “I love you.” Arthur sighed as if hearing those words eased some kind of pain and leaned in to kiss him again. This time they were slow and took their time. When they pulled back once more, Merlin smiled at him and Arthur smiled back.

oOoOoOo

They spent a good hour relaxing in the bath water. It helped that Merlin could just reheat it when it got too cool. After that they both looked completely drained. Dressed in their sleeping clothes, they curled up in bed together and tried to calm their minds to let sleep reach them.

“Maybe things will calm down now.” Merlin said softly, eyes half closed with sleep.

“I very much hope so.” Arthur said and gave him a deep kiss on the mouth. “Goodnight, Merlin.”

“Goodnight, husband.” Merlin said once more and smiled, amused at Arthur’s rose-tinted cheeks.

oOoOoOo

The following days indeed were met with calm. Arthur could enjoy the days of rest from training while the snows remained high, which meant that Merlin and Arthur could get used to the fact that they couldn’t stand to be apart from each other for more than a minute. They would if they had to, but they never strayed too far if they could help it.

No one else noticed it, except for those that already knew they’d married.

Leon joked to Merlin about it. “Still enjoying the honeymoon, I see.” He said one particular day that Merlin had just been staring at Arthur with admiration as he gave a speech in court on order of his father. Something about encouraging the nobles through the harsh winter.

“I am _not_.” Merlin laughed quiet enough not to disturb the speech.

“Oh, Merlin. You most certainly are. Both of you. Still high in that blissful cloud of the first weeks of marriage. I admit I was sceptical at first when you both got married, but now I can see why.” Leon said.

“I bet you don’t have the courage to say the same to Arthur.” Merlin teased.

“Absolutely not.” Leon chuckled and Merlin smiled. He was pleased he still had Leon as a friend because everyone else had resorted to the old ways of ignoring him. Serving him like any other Lord but not talking to him. Somehow, with every day that passed, it mattered less and less to Merlin.

When Arthur was done and everyone was done clapping, Uther stood. “I would like to make an announcement.” He said, drawing everyone’s attention. “Lord Godwyn, our long standing ally will be visiting as soon as the snows melt. I’m sure everyone understands how his arrival is cause for celebration. We will have a great banquet in his honour when he arrives!” Uther said and everyone cheered.

Merlin smiled as Arthur politely clapped, while Morgana, ever the better actress, somehow managed to convey genuine joy as she clapped her hands together and smiled at Uther’s declaration. Nonetheless he caught the brief glance they shared, showing nothing but contempt toward Uther for a second far too short for anyone to catch.

oOoOoOo

Merlin stood at the front row, looking uncomfortable. “Merlin, stop fidgeting. Lord Godwyn will be here any moment.” Gwen whispered next to him.

“I can’t help it, Gwen. People are looking at me strangely. Just look at what Arthur has me wearing!” Merlin whispered.

“I think you look rather nice.” Gwen said.

“Not for a servant.” Merlin replied.

“I think you’re a little underdressed as the prince’s wife.” Morgana whispered as she walked past.

“Shht!” Merlin and Gwen hissed. Leon, who’d been guarding her, stared at her with wide eyes, glancing around to see if anyone had heard. Luckily, no one did.

Merlin looked at his fine new trousers, his bright blue shirt that felt softer than anything Merlin had ever worn, the fine leather jacket lined with a short fur for inside the palace walls and a new bright red neckerchief to replace his old one.

With the knowledge of being Arthur’s manservant in and out of bed already spread through the entire palace and court, the extravagant gifts Arthur gave him simply did not help Merlin’s case. Not that he had the heart to refuse whenever Arthur searched his face to see if he liked the gifts. Or when Arthur would stare at him like that. Merlin shook his head, motioning for the prince to pay attention to the moment at hand.

oOoOoOo

Arthur chuckled as he looked away from Merlin. But how could he resist? He couldn’t stop staring at him as he dressed so nicely. Not as nice as Arthur would like to dress him, but all in due course.

He glanced at his father, who seemed very excited at the arrival of Lord Godwyn. Arthur hadn’t seen him smile like that for a long time.

“You seem happy, father.” Arthur pointed out.

“Well, it is an exciting day, Arthur.”

“Well, like you said, the arrival of Lord Godwyn is always a cause for celebration.” He said, facing the door. He knew they were already in the palace, it was only a matter of seconds before they arrived at court.

“ _And_ Princess Elena.” Uther added. Arthur was a little surprised since his father hadn’t mentioned her until now.

“…Yes.”

“I hear she’s something of a beauty.” He said. At that, Arthur’s eyes settled on the one person that currently fit that description in his mind.

“Really.” Arthur added, while Merlin again looked at little annoyed at catching Arthur making eyes at him. If only Merlin knew how much joy and laughter the warlock brought to his heart.

“Oh yes.” Arthur looked at his father, sensing how he was desperate to say something. “Beautiful, charming, witty… strategic.”

Arthur frowned in confusion. “ _Strategic?_ ”

“I have always thought so… that is, we have always thought so… Lord Godwyn and myself.” His father was stammering. That made Arthur’s stomach twist very unpleasantly. “That is _he_ finds _you_ strategic… not… Princess Elena.”

Arthur turned to face him fully now. “He finds me… strategic?”

“Oh yes.” Uther nodded.

“And beautiful?” Uther opened his mouth to that but had no response. Luckily for him, the doors opened and Lord Godwyn entered the court, followed closely by a pretty if… messy looking young woman. “Father, what are you trying to say?” Arthur insisted.

“Lord Godwyn is a serious ally. The strength of such a match cannot be underestimated.” He whispered.

Arthur almost knew what he was trying to say, but didn’t want to say it out loud, lest he give his father ideas. “Please tell me you mean a jousting match.”

“I mean a love match.”

Arthur’s eyes widened slightly. “ _Love_?!” He hissed under his breath.

“Not _love_ , love has nothing to do with it. I mean the other bit.” Arthur still didn’t understand. “You know… a permanent union.” Then it clicked.

“ _Marriage?!_ ”

Uther smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “I knew you’d understand—Godwyn!” He called, stepping down from the stairs to go and hug his friend and ally. Arthur looked at Elena and then at Merlin who looked at him confused and back at his father.

Arthur was speechless as he stepped closer, which meant he was standing beside Merlin. One small comfort in this very uncomfortable situation for him. As the two royals hugged and greeted each other, Arthur felt Merlin’s knuckles brush against his intentionally and Arthur responded by placing his hand in Merlin’s, threading their fingers together, their hands hidden from anyone’s sight by their position and clothes.

“Princess Elena,” Uther said fondly. “You are _most_ welcome.”

Arthur watched the young woman smile and step closer to greet the king, when she stumbled and crashed flat on the ground. Arthur watched in fascination at someone being even clumsier than Merlin.

oOoOoOo

That night, as they prepared for bed, Merlin kept glancing over at Arthur, who kept staring at the distance with a frown on his face. As Merlin climbed on top of the covers, stomach down and using his arm to support his head, he nudged the quiet prince.

“Go on, out with it.” Merlin said.

Arthur scoffed and shook his head. “My um… father, had some very interesting news for me.” Merlin waited for Arthur to find his words. “He expects me to _marry_ Princess Elena.”

Merlin’s eyes widened, his heart clenching with a sour sensation. Was that jealousy? “ _Marry_?” So that’s what Gaius had been tiptoeing around for weeks! Merlin knew he was hiding something. Ever since they came back.

“Well don’t look so worried. Of course I’m not going to marry her.” Arthur said.

Merlin looked at him. “You’re going to have to… at some point.” Merlin said. “Marry a princess, that is.”

“I’ve got something better already.” Arthur said, kissing the back of Merlin’s free hand. Merlin smiled and leaned in to kiss him, savouring the feel of his lips. Arthur made a pleasant sound and pushed Merlin back on the bed, moving so he was on top as they continued to kiss.

The door slammed open and both of them turned to see Uther pause his grand entrance as he saw them both in bed. “Ah! Practicing I see. Excellent.” Uther clapped his hands and rubbed them together. Merlin felt his face burn with embarrassment as both of them moved to stand by the side of the bed. “A word Arthur.” Merlin made to leave but Uther stopped him. “No, no. You may stay.”

Arthur waited for his father to speak, though by the hesitant steps he took, it was clear what he wanted to talk about. “I need to talk to you about Elena.” Arthur rolled his eyes and moved to sit himself down on the trunk by the end of the bed. “I realise that this is a delicate situation.” He continued.

Merlin remembered to keep his ringed hand behind his back. Uther had _no_ idea. Merlin looked between Arthur and his father and almost wondered why the king had wanted him to stay.

Arthur scoffed. “There’s nothing delicate about it.”

“Lord Godwyn, as you know, is not only a very good friend of mine, but also a long standing ally of Camelot.”

“I have nothing against Lord Godwyn, father. Or against Elena. But I will _not_ marry her.” He said simply.

“Arthur, when we talk about your future, we are not just talking about your happiness, but about the strength and safety of the entire kingdom. You may one day be a husband, but more importantly, you _will_ one day be King.” Uther looked at him sternly. “Unless there’s any other reason why you wont marry her?” He asked slowly.

Merlin’s breath caught at the back of his throat, his heart racing wildly. That sounded too much like an accusation.

“No.” Arthur said.

“Then it’s settled. You will marry Elena.”

“But father, I have _no_ feelings for her. Whatsoever.”

“Then I would encourage you to find some.” He then turned to Merlin, pointing at him. “I expect you to make sure he’s ready for when he takes his new bride.”

Uh Oh.

“Don’t speak to him like that! He’s saved my life more times than you know!” Arthur yelled.

“I am king! I will speak to a useless servant like him in whatever way I see fit!” Uther sneered at Merlin. “At least we managed to find _something_ he was useful at. Perhaps you’ve finally found your true calling, boy.”

Merlin looked down, that familiar humiliation returning when he’d thought it long gone. Merlin felt bile at the back of his throat hearing Uther say that, when all he could do was incline his head in acceptance.

“Merlin is _not_ useless! He’s the most loyal servant in all of Camelot! I won’t have you mocking him like that!” There was no holding Arthur back in this state.

“Enjoy him while you can.” Uther said as he started to make his way out.

“What on earth is that supposed to mean?” Arthur demanded.

“Hah! You don’t expect him to remain after you’re married, do you?” Uther said, turning to face him. Merlin felt a chill go down his spine. Be separated from Arthur? He remembered what those horrid kitchen maids had said to him. There was only one place for a servant like him after getting fired.

Arthur’s eyes widened with realisation and a fury he couldn’t contain seemed to shine on his face. “You are _not_ sending him there. He’s _mine_! You gave him to _me_!”

“Honestly, Arthur. You’re behaving ridiculous. He’s just a servant.”

“Not to _me_.” Arthur practically roared and everything went very still.

There it was, the secret was out. Uther would probably have him executed by morning, thinking he’d somehow enchanted Arthur into falling in love with him.

“No more discussion. Take Elena to a nice picnic tomorrow and find yourself some feelings toward her because you _will_ propose to her the following day or you relinquish your claim to the throne.” Uther said. Well, it seemed like that wasn’t enough of a clue for Uther.

“But father, I’m your sole heir.” The way Arthur said it was clearly hinting at Uther that he was not.

Uther looked at him confused for a second and then he cleared his throat. “You _will_ propose!”

“Your father’s right, Arthur.” Merlin finally said. Arthur turned to glare at him. “You should at least give princess Elena a chance.” He said, not looking at Arthur in the eye.

“There, at least someone still remembers their place.” Uther said and stormed out of the room, not even giving them a second glance.

“Why would you agree with him?” Arthur hissed.

“Because you were _this_ close to revealing everything to him before you even have a plan on how to take over.” Merlin hissed right back.

“I am _not_ marrying Elena. I am already married, in case you forgot.” Arthur hissed.

“In case _you_ forgot, we only got married to contain my magic!” Merlin yelled.

“What does it matter?!” Arthur yelled.

“You said you wouldn’t hold me to any marriage requirements. That we’d take things slow.” Merlin said.

“We won’t be taking things anywhere if father has his way!” Arthur yelled and Merlin held himself, looking away. He couldn’t get Uther’s humiliating words out of his head.

“I don’t think you should marry Elena if you don’t have feelings for her, but you have to at least try to find some.”

Arthur scoffed. “Fine. Because you say so.” He said and stepped very close to him. “Let’s see how long you can stand watching me flirt with another person… smiling at them, kissing them, holding them.” Arthur pulled his hips close up against his. “Think you’ll be able to handle that?” Arthur whispered.

Merlin felt warm all over at Arthur’s anger and lust mingled into one. “I can handle it.” Merlin said.

“Look me in the eyes and say that again.” Arthur whispered and Merlin looked up, opening his mouth and loosing his voice.

“Arthur…” He whispered and pulled him close, kissing him like a desperate man that didn’t want to lose what he held at the end of his fingers.


	19. Chapter 19

Merlin woke up groggy the next morning. He felt pleasantly sore in places only Arthur could reach and he smiled dreamily remembering the night before. He turned to look at Arthur and leaned in, kissing his shoulder.

“Up you get, you lazy prat.” Merlin said.

Arthur frowned. “Mmh… No…”

Merlin smiled faintly, and kissed the back of his head. “I’ll go get us breakfast.” He said and got dressed, making his way to the door.

“Get me sausages this time.” Arthur called after him.

“What?” He teased.

“I said-!” Merlin shut the door and chuckled to himself as he went to the kitchens.

oOoOoOo

“Come on boys, hurry up, we have the hours counted until the banquet.” The cook barked orders while the men worked diligently in their different stations.

“Morning cook! Morning everyone.” Merlin said. The cook barely sent him a glance before having to go off to grab something from the stores.

“Hmm… well you look… properly _handled._ ” One of them said. Merlin felt his smile faltering. “Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean it in a bad way.” He smiled and patted Merlin’s arm.

“Ugh… it’s wrong, Ben.” Another said.

“Don’t listen to Damien. He got his heart broken and won’t open it up for nobody else.” Ben said. “Prince Arthur truly loves you.”

“I-I…” Merlin didn’t know what to say to the kitchen servants.

“It’s alright, we’re loyal to him, not Uther. He saved our lives, you know.” Ben said. “Here, I want to give you a little tip.” He leaned in to whisper in Merlin’s ear. Merlin listened with curiosity, which then turned to wild embarrassment.

“Leave him be, Ben, you’ve turned him into a blushing mess.” Another servant said.

Ben winked at Merlin and returned to his chores while Merlin quickly grabbed Arthur’s breakfast tray and rushed off. He tried to burn what Ben had told him out of his mind. No one would enjoy that! W-would they?

oOoOoOo

Arthur groaned as Merlin returned and his stomach rumbled pleasantly as it smelt the breakfast. He, with much dismay, got out of the warm bed and stretched, releasing a big yawn. After all of that, he realised that Merlin was looking at him nervously and far too quiet.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked, instantly alert. Merlin came closer, hands behind his back and looking somewhat… embarrassed?

“The kitchen servants… one of them said something to me.” Arthur was instantly alert but confused. Why would the kitchen servants insult Merlin? After all they’d been in a worse situation than Merlin for a long time.

“What did they say?” Arthur asked.

Merlin hesitated. “Well… it was more a… friendly suggestion.” Merlin said. “We could try it, if you’d like.” Merlin said and now Arthur was really confused. What could they possibly have told him that they could try together?

Seeing his confusion, Merlin leaned in to whisper, despite there being no one around to hear them. “ _Would you like it if I took you into my mouth?_ ” Came the whisper and Arthur instantly felt the heat rush to his face. Turning to look at Merlin, he could see the same expression of utter embarrassment, though Merlin was keeping eye contact, as if curious about the whole idea.

Arthur choked on a combination of a scoff and a laugh and shook his head. “No, Merlin you don’t need to do that.”

“But you might like it.” Merlin said.

“Well then… would you let me do it to you?” Arthur answered back and again, Merlin’s face went hot. They never talked about this kind of thing. Their time together almost always went on instinct at first since they’d barely had a clue about being with someone before this whole mess began.

“Maybe?” Merlin said. “Never mind, forget I said anything.” Merlin said and pulled him over to breakfast.

“No, Merlin. We need to talk about these things… since no one else will.” He grumbled the last part under his breath, remembering that abhorrent experience trying to get answers at the brothel. “Hey,” Merlin looked up, still somewhat embarrassed, which was a wonderful expression that Arthur had rarely seen on his face before. “I love you.” He said softly.

“I love you too.” Merlin said and reached to cup his cheek. Arthur’s heart warmed hearing those words. He never would admit it to anyone that he’d never been told those words genuinely before.

He’d never been touched or cared for with such adoration and the fact that he finally had it, from Merlin, made his heart soar. He never thought he needed it before. To be loved.

He could count on one hand the times Uther had hugged him growing up and Morgana had been raised too strictly by her nurse maids to ever even hug him back then. Of course that’s what made her all the more rebellious as she grew, but by then it was too late for their bond.

But Merlin, from the very start, he’d cared for Arthur much more than Arthur remembered anyone doing. He risked his life for him again and again, as if he were someone precious. Arthur couldn’t imagine himself ever being with anyone that wasn’t Merlin.

He leaned closer and kissed Merlin deeply. “Don’t ever leave me.” Arthur whispered as he held Merlin close.

“Never.” Merlin replied. They stayed like that for a few seconds, just holding each other, until Merlin pulled back and smiled. “Come on then, or you’ll blame me for the food getting cold.” He said and led them to the table, where Arthur was pleased to see three sausages on his plate.

They could revisit Merlin’s suggestion at another time, when they didn’t have anywhere to be. Unfortunately, for now, they had a picnic to prepare.

oOoOoOo

Arthur watched as Merlin secured the horse seat for him when he saw Princess Elena coming down the steps.

“Please, allow me to help.” He offered, stretching his hand to her.

“It’s fine, this is something I can _actually_ do.” She hopped on the horse faster than even Arthur and rode off on her own. The visiting princess was leaving the citadel. Alone. Unguarded. He glanced at Merlin who was staring at her in surprise.

Arthur ran to his horse and jumped on, following the unguarded princess before she went completely out of sight. He was actually very skilled as she trotted ahead of him.

“Slow down!” Arthur yelled.

“No chance!” She laughed. So much for a slow trot to the picnic spot. And yet, Arthur found himself smiling.

She finally stopped by a stream. She patted the horse’s neck gently, smiling at it with fondness.

“That was very impressive.” Arthur said honestly. “I’m not easily impressed.

“Well, neither am I.” She said. “And I wasn’t!” She gave a little snort as she laughed and patted his arm like one of the knights would. Arthur felt a twinge of offense but tried not to show it and wondered where Merlin was. What was the point in flirting with Elena if he wasn’t around to see it?

It didn’t seem that Elena took the silence well because she looked desperate to fill it when she continued.

“I’ve been riding since I was a child.” She explained. “I don’t get to do it as much as I’d like, princesses don’t.” She rolled her eyes at that and Arthur chuckled.

“Royal life can be restrictive, unnecessarily, sometimes.” Arthur said and she smiled at that.

“Yes! That’s what I always tell father. Not that it makes much of a difference. Fathers always think they know what’s best for you.” She said.

Arthur felt his stomach churn. “Don’t I know it.” He came to check on her horse, patting its neck. “They expect us to marry. What say you to this?” Arthur said, looking at her.

“Well… I don’t know you very well yet. But I trust father’s judgement. People say you’re noble and a fierce warrior.” She said.

“I try to be noble.” Arthur said softly, looking at her kind smile, but she didn’t love him, obviously. Nor was she completely infatuated with the thought of marrying the crown prince of Camelot from what he could tell, so that was a good sign.

Merlin arrived then and Arthur went toward him. “What took you so long?” He demanded.

“You were riding _so_ fast, I thought you were desperate for some _time alone_.” Merlin whispered and Arthur leaned closer.

“Maybe you’re right, Merlin. Good thinking.” Arthur said and patted him on the arm, not missing the small glare Merlin sent his way as Arthur turned to face Elena once more. “So, Princess Elena, the real reason you beat me here was because I stopped to smell the roses.” Arthur said and tried to hide the grin that wanted to form as he heard Merlin scoff somewhere behind him.

Elena looked at the flower in surprise. “Oh! Thank you!” She snatched it from his hand, looking it over. It’s… beautiful.” She smiled and glanced over his shoulder. “Oh! Food, I’m so hungry.” She said, taking his hand and pulling him along before freezing and remembering herself, smiling as she let go of his hand. “And I can offer you a re-match any day, my lord. But I can’t promise the result would be any different.” She teased as she sat down on the perfectly laid out picnic blanket.

Merlin had moved to sit up against a tree, looking away from their picnic. It sat wrong with Arthur. But Merlin insisted so Arthur would deliver.

“Oh really? We’d have to see some other time.” Arthur said as he sat down beside her. “So tell me more about yourself, my lady. What made you so interested in horse-riding?”

She had a mouthful of grapes as she spoke. “Well, my mother was an excellent horsewoman.” She swallowed and smiled wistfully. “I guess, I wanted to feel closer to her at first, since she died before I could meet her, but I truly grew to love it.”

Arthur smiled. He understood that feeling. “I never knew my mother either. Sometimes I wonder if I’m anything like her. I hope I don’t take after my father entirely.” He said.

“Oh, you don’t!” She laughed with great relief, which sounded almost like an insult to his father, if he’d been present. Arthur looked at her trying to conceal a laugh. “I didn’t… mean that… in a bad way.” She said, frown on her face and biting on a grape nervously. Finally Arthur did laugh.

“No, not at all.” He laughed a little more and looked at her. He was surprised that he was getting along with her so well. “You’re a wonderful person, Elena. Not many people can make me laugh.”

She smiled. “Well, you’re not too bad yourself. Now, I propose you start eating, otherwise I’m going to feel like a pig for eating by myself.” She said rather bluntly and while Arthur reached into the picnic basket for some food she seemed to frown at her own wording, clearly remembering too late who she’s speaking too and it only made Arthur more amused. She was so much like Merlin when he was overly clumsy.

Arthur glanced at Merlin and his heart throbbed as he saw him still looking away from them, jaw set firm, showing he was definitely not pleased with all of this.

Once back she stood a little straighter though still looking uncertain about all of this. “Thank you, I had a lovely time.” She said.

“Likewise, my lady.” Arthur said and she smiled, uncertain, before reaching over to hug him. Arthur was a bit surprised by it… but specially because of the strange way she chose to hug. He simply patted her on the shoulder since he had no clue how to respond.

She still smiled faintly as she pulled away and made to go up the steps. Arthur felt something strange go through him. The way Merlin’s magic passed through him when he freed the dragon. Everything around him slowed down and he saw the moment Elena’s foot caught on her skirt. He reacted.

He reached up and caught her by her waist before she could fall. Everything seemed to return to normal speed as he helped her regain her balance. “Are you alright?” Arthur asked with a frown. She looked at him surprised before laughing nervously.

“Sorry. I’m just clumsy all the time.” She said.

“Here, let me help you.” Arthur said and offered her his arm. She looked uncertain but then smiled, using his arm to make a safe way up the steps.

“Thank you, Arthur.” She said gently, and continued on her way, almost tripping a couple of times as she walked.

Merlin slammed hard onto his shoulder from behind as he walked past. Arthur watched him go and sighed. The idiot probably injured himself more than Arthur.

Things didn’t get better as Merlin dressed him for the banquet. He hadn’t said a word since the picnic. “You were the one that insisted I go along with father’s decision.” Arthur finally said.

“…”

“I love you.” Arthur said, smiling fondly at him, specially as Merlin looked up to glare in return.

“You seemed to enjoy her company far more than I expected.” Merlin said, adjusting his straps and straightening every crease on his cloak, before bringing over his circlet and slipping it gently down onto his forehead.

Arthur stared intensely into his eyes and leaned in to kiss him but Merlin moved away.

“Ready, my lord.” Merlin said.

Arthur sighed. “Very well. To the banquet it is.”

oOoOoOo

Elena sat herself down beside Morgana, completely missing Arthur’s attempt to pull the other chair out for her. Pretending that nothing had happened, Arthur casually sat himself down and smiled at Morgana who looked as bright as always, while Elena’s hair looked a little wild and untamed.

“May I introduce my sister Morgana?” Arthur said motioning over to Morgana who almost dropped her fork as she stared at Arthur with shock. Elena too turned her face in shock to Arthur. “I meant _like_ a sister, Morgana, is father’s ward, she’s like a sister to me.” Arthur said and glanced at his father nervously who was busy talking to Elena’s father and hadn’t heard a thing.

“Oh, yes, we met briefly before.” Elena smiled at Morgana. “You mentioned studying Camelot’s laws?” She said.

“She did?” Arthur asked glancing at Morgana.

“I did.” Morgana smirked.

“It must be fascinating to delve into a subject so deeply. I’m never allowed to explore topics as much as I want.” Elena said with some dismay.

“Well, you’re welcome to explore Camelot’s library to your heart’s content. I’m sure Geoffrey could help you find a book on any topic you might be curious about.” Arthur said.

Elena looked at him surprised. “That… would be wonderful, Arthur, thank you so much.”

“It’s my pleasure, I do want you to enjoy your stay.” Arthur said. Morgana sent Arthur a look and Arthur instinctively knew to look back at Merlin, who was staring at him coldly. Arthur sat back on his chair. He somehow felt like he was in trouble.


	20. Chapter 20

“Well what did you want me to say?” Arthur asked as he followed Merlin into their room.

“It’s not what you said, it’s _how_ you said it! You’re making her think you actually want to marry her. Maybe you do!” Merlin yelled.

“Of course I don’t. I love _you_. I’m married to _you_.” Arthur said plainly.

“Yes, through a rite of magic, of the old religion, which to your father, and everyone else in the kingdom, means nothing.” Merlin said.

Arthur had to admit he’d missed Merlin being angry at him. Only long gone were the days where he’d refrain from completely being honest with Arthur for fear of being sacked.

“You’re not even listening to me!” Merlin yelled, probably catching his far off look.

“I’m trying to think. It’s not like I can just poison my father to get the kingdom. It wouldn’t be right.” Arthur said.

“I don’t want you to do that.” Merlin insisted and sat down on the edge of the bed. “This whole mess should never have even started! I should have worked harder to get rid of lady Vivian’s love spell.” Merlin said.

“We can keep complaining on what ifs until we get old, or we can try and find the solution to our problem.” Arthur said and came to sit beside Merlin. “Merlin, talk to me.”

“I have nothing else to say, Arthur.” Merlin whispered.

Arthur looked down. “I’m going to talk to Morgana.” Arthur leaned in like he usually did to kiss Merlin, but Merlin moved away. Arthur sighed and instead kissed the top of his head. “I love you.” He said and stood, leaving the room.

oOoOoOo

Merlin watched Arthur go and took a deep breath. He shouldn’t be acting like this. It was Merlin that insisted that Arthur go along with it. But he didn’t mean to _actually_ go along with it!

But was it really so terrible if Arthur did fall in love with that princess? It was as things should be, after all. It would hurt Merlin beyond what he could imagine, but he would still withstand it and stay beside Arthur and protect him at all cost.

He would remain distant until this issue is resolved.

oOoOoOo

Arthur stared at Morgana wondering if she had lost her mind. “That’s your plan?”

“Yes.”

“And what makes you think father simply won’t just put us both in separate cells until we confess the truth?” Arthur demanded.

“Because there is no reason for him to refuse other than the truth.” Morgana said.

Arthur stared at her and finally chuckled, shaking his head. “You better be right about this Morgana.”

“I certainly hope so.” She replied and Arthur wasn’t entirely sure that this would work. “On a separate note, how’s Merlin?” She teased.

“Not pleased.” Arthur replied.

“I wonder why.”

“ _He_ insisted I go along with this!”

“You don’t have to be so defensive, little brother.” Morgana scoffed and Arthur rolled his eyes.

Arthur looked away. “It’s mad, isn’t it, loving a man?” Arthur said.

“So most would say.” Morgana said and looked at him intently. “But I’ve seen the two of you. I can only hope that one day someone will look at me the way you both look at each other.” She smiled and Arthur smiled back. “Don’t worry brother. Soon, all of this will be over.”

oOoOoOo

In Camelot’s surrounding forest, a figure made its way through the foliage to gaze at the majestic castle with narrowed eyes. She would exact her revenge. Of that they could be certain. Morgause pulled the hood of her cape over her golden hair and blended into the shadows.

oOoOoOo

Merlin woke up early to collect herbs. Normally it would be a peaceful activity, one he could use to clear his head and suppress his annoyance at whatever Arthur had made him do the previous day. However, this time…

“What about this one?” Arthur pointed at a plant growing by the base of one of the trees.

“That’s just a weed.” Merlin rolled his eyes. The crown prince of Camelot had insisted on coming with him.

_“You are my husband, now, Merlin. I can’t possibly let you go off alone and unguarded.”_

Merlin rolled his eyes at the memory. What Arthur was really doing was trying to prove to Merlin that he wanted to be with him and not with princess Elena, who’d gone riding with her father and Uther instead. Still, Merlin couldn’t help but rub his ring gently.

“Everything looks the same to me.” Arthur grumbled behind him. Merlin heard a branch snap and grabbed Arthur, pulling him over behind a large tree.

“Shh!” Merlin silenced him before Arthur had a chance to protest.

“What is it?” Arthur poked his head out and Merlin pointed to where he heard the sound. Grunhilda was kneeling by the stream. Arthur stood up straight. “Honestly Merlin, you’re so-”

The sound of something snapping through the air was heard and Arthur quieted down. Merlin let his eyes glow gold and everything slowed down. He glanced at Arthur, his eyes also glowing as he looked around confused.

“It’s happening again.” Arthur said.

“Again?” Merlin asked confused. When had Arthur seen time slow down before? The snapping sound was heard again and they both turned their heads to see Grunhilda snapping up flies the way a frog would catch its dinner.

“Eugh…” Arthur shuddered and Merlin smirked.

“Weren’t you saying something? I’m so… what was it?” Merlin mocked. Arthur glared at him before hiding himself better.

“What is she?” Arthur asked grossed out. “Is she a sorcerer? You’re not able to do that… are you?” Arthur asked with a grimace and Merlin smacked his arm.

“Of course not! Come on… we have to go talk to Gaius.” Merlin whispered and slowly made his way back with Arthur, as time slowly sped up until it was back to normal.

oOoOoOo

Gaius eyed them both with curiosity. “There are some ailments out there that could render a tongue strange-looking.”

“No, Gaius, you don’t understand… this was…” Merlin shook his head, trying to find words.

“It was certainly not normal, Gaius.” Arthur said. “It was _purple_.”

“And _long_!” Merlin cut in. Arthur contributed by holding his arms apart in a close approximation of what he saw.

“How strange… she must be a creature of magic.” Gaius said.

“It’s clear that a magical creature has infiltrated Lord Godwin’s household but the question is what kind and why?” Merlin said. The door opened and young Mordred trotted in, holding a basket of empty potion vials.

“I collected your orders Gaius.” The boy said proudly and Gaius smiled, ruffling the boy’s hair.

“Well done my boy. Thank you for your help.”

“You’re keeping my room neat?” Merlin asked and Mordred smiled.

“Always, _big brother_.” Arthur watched as Merlin resisted the urge to smile at the boy. “Prince Arthur, the king says your presence is needed at supper.” Mordred said and Arthur felt dread fill the pit of his stomach.

“Thank you, Mordred.” He turned to Merlin and Gaius and sighed. “Let me know what you find.” Gaius nodded.

Arthur leaned in to kiss Merlin and again, Merlin turned his head away. It hurt. Arthur felt his heart tightening painfully. He missed him. He missed being closer to Merlin. It was as if he’d forgotten what it was like being apart and now he couldn’t bear to go back to how things were.

“Merlin, please.” Arthur tried but Merlin didn’t say anything. He clenched his jaw tight and turned his back to him, storming away and slamming the door behind him.

oOoOoOo

Merlin flinched as Arthur stormed out and took a deep breath.

“Everything alright between you two?” Gaius asked.

“I don’t know.” Merlin said softly. “You should have seen him _flirting_ with princess Elena. Who knows, he might actually truly like her.” He said, trying to pretend that he didn’t care but Gaius’ raised eyebrows told him that his mentor knew otherwise.

Mordred sat beside him, swinging his legs from the chair as he read up a book that Gaius had propped open on herbs.

“If I recall correctly, you said that it had been your idea that he pursue her.” Gaius said.

“Well I didn’t mean for him to get so into it!” Merlin snapped and huffed as he glared at the fire.

“Ah, well, jealousy does have a cruel sting.” Gaius said. “I suppose I better go and try to figure out what sort of creature Grunhilda is.”

Merlin huffed at the little interest Gaius showed for his predicament. But he _was_ right. It _was_ Merlin’s fault. He groaned rubbing his temples.

“Merlin, could you help me with this?” Mordred asked, showing him a scroll of questions. It seemed that Gaius was testing Mordred’s knowledge too. He sighed. At least it would serve as a distraction.

“Very well, show me.”

oOoOoOo

Arthur entered the room and walked right up to Morgana before Uther arrived. “Tell me you have a plan.” Arthur said.

“I do.” She smiled.

“Great, what is it?” Arthur asked.

“You’ll see.” She winked and Arthur opened his mouth to argue but she didn’t offer anything else as Uther entered the room.

“Whispering? Are you two planning something?” Uther asked suspiciously and a nervous laugh escaped Arthur’s lips.

“Planning something? Like what, father?” Arthur asked. Uther looked at them both before shaking his head.

“Let’s sit and eat. We must discuss your proposal, Arthur.” Uther got straight to the point and Arthur sat himself down.

“What proposal, father? I already said I wouldn’t marry Elena.” Arthur said.

“And why not? You seem to get along well enough.” Uther said.

“I… yes, I get along with her, but I have no feelings for her. I can’t marry someone I do not love.” Arthur said.

Uther’s jaw was clenched tight as he glared at him. Arthur couldn’t understand when his father grew to hate him so, but here he was, looking at Arthur as if he was the greatest disappointment in his life.

“You _can_ and you _will_. Tomorrow morn, you will get on one knee and propose marriage to princess Elena. Tomorrow evening, you two will wed. Will you disobey your king, Arthur?”

Arthur clenched his hands into fists as he looked down. “I’ll do as you say, father.” He said softly.

“Then it is settled.” Uther clapped his hands together and proceeded to eat his meal. Arthur glanced at Morgana who smiled at him faintly while Arthur struggled to control the burning from his eyes. He certainly hoped Morgana’s plan could take action before he had to get married. Again.

oOoOoOo

“A changeling?” Arthur said as he sat on the bed.

“Yup! That’s why she’s always so clumsy.” Merlin said as he sat by the fireplace, a book on his lap as he read a book on Sidhe magic ferociously, passing page by page by the second. Arthur wasn’t entirely sure how much Merlin was actually reading but from the stacks of books beside him it was clear that he had a long way to go.

“So the Sidhe want a Sidhe queen… but why? What good would that do them?” Arthur asked.

“Who knows what plans they have for Camelot.” Merlin sighed as he put the large book down.

“Anything I can help you with?” Arthur asked.

“No, I’ve got this. You wouldn’t understand anyway.” Merlin said. Arthur stared at him for a long time.

“Have I always been this useless to you?” Arthur finally asked. Merlin looked up at him at that.

“You are not useless.”

“Then let me help you.”

“You don’t know the first thing about magic. I’ve been studying everyday since I came here.” Merlin argued.

“You won’t let me help, you’ll just have me flirting with someone else, pretending I want to marry her, all in the while you roll your eyes at my incompetence when it comes to magic and get angry when I do what you wanted me to do in the first place!” Arthur exclaimed.

“So this whole mess is all my fault?!” Merlin yelled. “Mine? For not letting you go against your father?! As if you’d ever go against him! If you were remotely capable of saying no to him you would never have started using me the way you did!” Merlin yelled.

Silence fell over them and Arthur felt like he couldn’t breathe. Merlin’s eyes widened with realisation at his words and shook his head.

“I didn’t mean that, Arthur.” He whispered.

“You should go.” Arthur said softly. Merlin looked at him and shook his head.

“Arthur, I-”

“I’ll be proposing to princess Elena in the morning. In the eve we’ll be wedded.” He said.

“Arthur, I didn’t mean-”

“I’m sorry for ever hurting you, Merlin.” Arthur said and left the room, hoping that when he returned, Merlin would be gone.

How could he be so stupid? How could he let himself get pulled along with these emotions when all along Merlin evidently resented him from the start. He cared for him. Arthur didn’t doubt that. But he resented him nonetheless and the truth of what Arthur had done hit him hard.

When he returned to his room, Merlin was gone. Arthur got into bed and instinctively reached out for Merlin’s warmth, which wasn’t there anymore. He felt burning in his eyes and clenched his eyes tight. 

“A prince doesn’t cry… a prince doesn’t cry…” He whispered to himself and took a deep breath as he successfully supressed his emotions.

 


	21. Chapter 21

Arthur didn’t look at Merlin as he proposed to Elena. He didn’t look at his father either, nor at Morgana. He focused on delivering his message loud and clear. He knelt on one knee and said the words mechanically. When it was done, Elena smiled gently, with a hint of pity in her face as she gave his hand a squeeze.

Arthur never felt more trapped in his entire life. He stood side by side with her, looking out at the court. He couldn’t help it when his eyes found Merlin. Merlin kept his gaze stony and locked on the ground as Arthur held his fiancée’s hand.

He didn’t see her again after that. Not with the wedding preparations taking place.

oOoOoOo

Gwen made her way to Gaius’ chambers. Gaius sent her a look and turned to look at Merlin who was busy grinding some herbs while giving Mordred a lesson on herbology.

“Merlin.” She tried.

“I’m busy Gwen.” Merlin said.

“We’ve been here for _hours_!” Mordred whined at Gwen with hope in his eyes that she would end his torture.

“Merlin… your _husband_ is getting married at sundown.” She said.

“I am aware. I was there at the engagement.” Merlin said, grinding the herbs harder.

“Mordred, lady Morgana wanted to see you.” Gwen said and Mordred cheered as he jumped off the stool and ran off.

“Thank you, Merlin!” He remembered to call back as he disappeared and Merlin sighed sitting himself down instead of calling him back.

“Maybe this is the way things should be, Gwen. Arthur, marrying a princess.” Merlin said.

“Perhaps, but unfortunately, things will never be the way they should be because you are both _already_ married.” Gwen said.

Merlin kept quiet and looked up at her. “I was angry, I just wanted to… spite him. I said something cruel to him. He told me to leave.”

“Congratulations, you got into one of many arguments that happen in marriage. Merlin, Morgana has a plan, you have to trust her.” Gwen said. Merlin frowned as he thought about it.

“Arthur likes her, maybe we shouldn’t separate them.”

Gwen smacked him upside the head and Merlin winced, rubbing the sore spot. “Listen to me. I didn’t lose Arthur to you just so you can give up when things get serious.” She growled. “Now, you’re going to make your way over to him and apologise if you must.”

Merlin watched Gwen leave and looked at the ground paste of herbs he’d been grinding down.

“Merlin, she’s right. What you have with prince Arthur… it’s sacred.”

“I blamed him for how this all started. How could I have said something so cruel?” He whispered. “This is all Uther’s fault.”

“I should have done just as much to stop you. I’m sorry, Merlin.” Gaius placed his hand on Merlin’s shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze. Merlin looked at Gaius and shook his head. Gaius handed him the potion.

“Come on… lets free Elena of the Sidhe.” Merlin said.

oOoOoOo

Arthur paced in his room as he thought of his wedding. This felt wrong. It all felt wrong. He took a deep breath. He couldn’t do this. The door opened and he looked up to see Morgana followed closely by Mordred.

She laughed softly. “You look like you’re going to a funeral.”

“Aren’t I?” Arthur half joked.

“I told you I had a plan.” Morgana said.

“Great, what is it?” Arthur said and clenched his jaw tight when she didn’t answer. “I have to stop this.” He made for the door and went straight to Elena’s chambers.

“Arthur! You stubborn fool just be patient!” Morgana yelled after him but he didn’t stop.

oOoOoOo

Merlin rose his staff against Grunhilda. She grunted as she was thrown back but still managed to lash out a blast of magic that sent Merlin back against the wall.

Merlin rushed to get to his feet when Sidhe magic blasted him. “AGH!” Pain burst from his side that made him fall to his knees. He looked to where the power came from. A blue speck of light moved quickly and Merlin let his eyes glow to slow everything down.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this day, boy?” The Sidhe creature said, growling at him with pure range.

“I won’t let you succeed.” Merlin hissed and raised his staff, only to get it yanked away by Grunhilda. The Sidhe shocked him once more and Merlin cried out.

He could hear the sound of approaching feet and turned his head to see Arthur drawing his sword as he came closer.

“Arthur stay back!” Merlin yelled.

“Not likely!” Arthur yelled and swung at the Sidhe who flew back. Arthur reached down and yanked Merlin to his feet. Merlin groaned as he felt a large bruise against his ribs.

“Arthur?!” Grunhilda gasped horrified.

“Eugh… _what_ is _that_?!” Arthur demanded. Grunhilda looked offended.

“That’s Grunhilda.” Merlin grunted.

“Enough! Kill the boy, Grunhilda! I will erase Arthur Pendragon’s memory!”

Terror coursed through Merlin’s veins at those words.

Grunhilda raised the staff. Elena smashed a vase on Grunhilda’s head and the pixie dropped to the ground.

“No!” Cried the Sidhe. Gaius rushed past her and grabbed the staff, throwing it at Merlin.

Another fluttery light came from Elena’s room, which began to chase her. Merlin allowed time to slow and reached up with a shaky arm to blast her away but missed. He could barely keep his arm up.

Arthur reached out beside him and held the staff, supporting him. “Come on, Merlin!”

Merlin gripped the staff hard. Blue lightning shot forth, striking and turning the three creatures to dust, sighing as time returned to normal.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin asked, frowning at him.

“What kind of question is that? First tell me where you’re hurt.” Arthur said feeling at him and frowning as he found the bruises.

“Your highness… there you are, come the wedding is almost upon us.” Sir Leon came in and began to pull Arthur away.

“No, wait, I-”

Merlin sighed as Arthur disappeared around the corner and looked at Elena who was studying him with curiosity.

“I hope you’re feeling better, princess.” Merlin said. She smiled.

“Much better, thanks to you.” She looked at the pile of ashes and sighed. “Grunhilda’s always been there… I guess I now know why.” She said. “I should get ready for the wedding, shouldn’t I?” She said, looking at Merlin for an answer.

Merlin hesitated before finally nodding. “Yes, my lady.”

“…Very… well then.” She turned round hesitantly and returned to her room.

Merlin avoided Gaius’ gaze and took a deep breath. “Well, I better get dressed to see my husband married off to someone else.” He said.

oOoOoOo

Merlin came up slowly behind Arthur. “I have your ceremonial sword, Arthur.”

“Is it for me to fall on?” Arthur asked and Merlin forced a smile, gripping the sword a little tighter.

“I certainly hope not.” He said and came closer. Arthur turned to look at him and Merlin longed to reach for him and kiss him. “I’m sorry.” Merlin said softly.

“Me too.” Arthur said softly, taking the sword and putting it in place. “How do I look?” He asked. Merlin reached up and straightened out his cape and adjusted his circlet slightly just so he could touch him a second longer.

“Regal. Your highness.”

Arthur looked at him with what Merlin could only describe as longing. Merlin’s heart squeezed painfully and he leaned in. Arthur kissed him tenderly, as if wanting to engrain the memory of Merlin’s lips into his mind.

“Please don’t… Arthur…” Merlin whispered between kisses.

“I’m sorry, Merlin.” Arthur said, pulling away as the doors began to open. Merlin reached for him, grabbing onto his cape.

“Please, Arthur. I didn’t mean it.”

Arthur didn’t answer and Merlin let go, taking a deep breath as he stepped back. Arthur walked ahead into his wedding ceremony. Merlin couldn’t bear the thought of following him into the hall, but he did. He made his way through the guests to stand beside Gwen who smiled at him sadly. Morgana was the only one that seemed joyous about the whole event.

As Elena entered the room, people admired her with awe, whispering about her beauty. Merlin looked at the ideal match for Arthur. Merlin looked at Uther, who smirked with satisfaction and glanced at him. Merlin’s heart stopped. Did Uther know? No. He wasn’t looking at Merlin. He was looking at Morgana.

“My lords and ladies and free folk of Camelot,” Geoffrey began to speak, his voice booming through the hall. Merlin gathered what courage he could to look up. “We are gathered here today to celebrate, with the ancient rite of handfasting, the union of Arthur Pendragon and princess Elena of Gawant.”

The words struck a painful pang in Merlin’s chest. A pain that gradually got worse as Arthur turned to glance at him. Merlin felt his vision blur with tears and had to glance down to stop himself from crying in front of the entire court. When he looked up again, Arthur was no longer looking at him, but Elena was. Merlin avoided her gaze but couldn’t help but feel that she knew.

“Is it your wish, Arthur, to become one with this woman?” Geoffrey continued.

“…It is.” Arthur said, his voice devoid of emotion.

“Is it your wish, Elena, to become one with this man?”

Elena’s gaze flickered between Arthur and Merlin. “…It is.”

“Will any say nay?” Merlin took a deep breath but said nothing.

“I do!” Morgana said suddenly and Merlin looked at her in shock. “Arthur can’t marry Elena! He can’t!” She cried out.

“Morgana! What are you doing?” Uther demanded.

“Arthur can’t marry Elena because…” Morgana looked back at Merlin and finally back at Uther. “Because I love him and he loves me!” Morgana said and everyone in court began to whisper.

“Morgana! What are you doing?” Arthur demanded, coming down to her. “Is now the time?! Are you out of your mind?!” He hissed.

“Play along.” She hissed for only him to hear. She grabbed onto his arm hard and turned them to face Uther.

“Step away from each other this instant!” Uther yelled.

“No! I had to speak the truth. We love each other!” Morgana exclaimed. “I know princess Elena is a better match but… with matters of the heart you can’t think like that!” Morgana said.

“It is… true, father.” Arthur said, looking at Uther as he held Morgana’s hands. Uther looked at them with utter disgust.

“I told you to step away from each other!” Uther yelled.

“Why, my lord? Surely being of highborn birth I’m eligible for Arthur’s hand too!” Morgana exclaimed. “We wish to marry!”

“Absolutely not!” Uther yelled.

“But why? Why do you hate me so?” Morgana said with mock tears.

“I-I do not hate you! Morgana, you two cannot marry!” Uther exclaimed.

“But why? Father?” Arthur insisted.

“He doesn’t believe us! Oh, Arthur…” Morgana turned to him and reached up to cup his cheeks. She began to pull him down and Merlin felt his magic fighting viciously just under his skin.

“M-Morgana?” Arthur said.

“Stop!” Uther yelled. Morgana kept pulling Arthur closer. “You’re brother and sister for heaven’s sake!” Uther finally yelled and everyone gasped. Morgana smirked faintly before pulling back with as much shock as everyone else.

“ _What?_ ” She said horrified. “But I am Gorlois’ daughter.” She said.

“No, Morgana, you are not. You are mine.” Uther said. “And as such you two _cannot_ wed.”

“Uther… it is illegal to lie with another lord’s wife.” Morgana said and Uther seemed taken back by those words. “Furthermore, now your lack of re-enforcements to Gorlois in the battle field raises more questions.”

“That wasn’t-”

“How can we know? You’ve been lying this long! To your people! To your court! My mother was executed on the grounds that she defended magic. Or was it to cover up your secret?” Morgana demanded.

“That is not-!”

“How many innocents have died to cover up your lies, Uther?” Morgana yelled passionately. “You have broken Camelot’s laws. Now I ask the court for a motion of abdication. The king must either surrender his right to rule to his heir as is mandated by the law, or be tried for his crimes in front of the whole kingdom and risk execution! It’s your choice, _father_.”

Uther was left speechless as was the rest of the court. It almost seemed like hours before anyone dared to speak, but clearly no one in the court wanted to risk having their king executed. They all knew the laws. Even Uther.

“I second the motion.” One of the lords said, raising his hand.

“And I.”

“And I.”

“And I.”

Merlin looked around as most of the lords rose their hands with great hesitation. He couldn’t believe it. It worked? Morgana’s plan worked?

oOoOoOo

Arthur smiled as he walked Elena to her horse. “It’s a shame you have to leave so soon. I really was looking forward to another race.”

“I can beat you another time.” She smiled and looked up at Merlin, who was helping to pack with the other servants. “As for your… _true_ love… I hope for an invitation for the wedding.”

Arthur smiled. “That would be against the law, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes… but while your father never changed his laws… you can.” She said and smiled, giving his hand a squeeze and moving to catch up with Lord Godwin’s horse.

They left in the morning. The abdication was signed by Uther at noon. Arthur’s coronation would take place in a few days time but it was already as good as done. Arthur was king of Camelot.

oOoOoOo

Uther paced his room like a caged bear. How dare they, how dare they force his hand like this? Arthur was still just a stupid boy, he had no idea how to be king! He would bring ruin to Camelot!

“Oh dear. Looks like you’re having a difficult time, Uther Pendragon.” Uther swung round, his sword in his hand as he aimed it at the apparition. No, not an apparition.

“Morgause.” He whispered, eyes narrowed. “You think I won’t burn you to the stake just because I’ve been usurped?” He hissed. “My laws still stand.”

“The same laws that forced you to step down, I hear.” She smirked, not looking at all concerned with the sharpened blade held by Uther. “I can’t say I’m not enjoying it, but I believe there is something I can help you with, if you help me too.” She said, standing tall and proud and looking just like her mother did all those years ago.

“Why would I join forces with a filthy sorceress like yourself?” He hissed.

“Because if you don’t, Arthur will bring magic back to Camelot and undo twenty one years of your hard work.” Morgause said. Uther shook his head.

“Never.”

“Go see him for yourself. I’ll wait right here.” She smirked, sitting herself on his chair this time, leaning back, grabbing a grape from the fruit bowl and sighing as if enjoying a relaxing picnic in the forest.

Uther stepped away from her, shaking his head. He could just call the guards. But if what she said was true… Arthur would set her free. He put his sword away and slammed the door to his room as he stormed out.

Uther marched a straight route to the throne room. The boy wasn’t ready to be king! Morgana probably found out about Vivienne from Morgause. Combined with everything else he knew it looked bad but…

Damn it! This was such a mess! He would talk to Arthur. He would make sure the boy listened to him. If he didn’t, Uther would make him regret it. His reign on Camelot could not end like this! He would _not_ end like this!

 


	22. Chapter 22

Uther stopped behind the servant’s entrance to the throne room as he heard Arthur speak.

“I cannot believe you did it.”

He hid around the corner, the narrowly open door looking onto the empty throne room. Uther carefully turned his head to see Arthur’s arms on his sister’s shoulders. Uther made sure he was out of sight as he watched Morgana and Arthur hug each other close.

The dethroned king felt a shudder of disgust run down his spine. Even though they knew the truth… how can they possible hold each other so close after only recently declaring their love for each other?

“You should have had more faith in me, brother.” She chuckled. “Now you can finally be… who you were born to be.” She said.

“You’re the first born… the throne should be yours.” Arthur added.

“No, Uther declared _you_ his heir. I don’t need such a thing. I want to learn my magic and learn to control it, that’s what I want to focus on.” Morgana said. “Now, I’ll leave you two alone, I think you have a lot to talk about.”

Uther felt a horrible unpleasant feeling twisting in his gut as he heard Morgana say those words. Magic? Morgana had magic? Was this all planned? If so… since when had they known?

“So… it looks like I’m a single man once more.” Arthur said. Uther frowned. Who was Arthur speaking to now?

The serving boy, Merlin, stepped closer. “That’s not funny.” The boy replied, frowning at Arthur. Arthur looked at him in a way that made Uther very confused. The fondness in his expression made the reality before him so hard to believe that his mind could not process it.

Arthur took the serving boy’s hands and stood close to him, pressing his forehead to Merlin’s.

“I’m sorry, Merlin.” Arthur said.

“I’m sorry too.” They stood in silence for a few seconds. “Did we do the right thing?” Merlin asked.

“I don’t want to rule a kingdom without you by my side.” Arthur said. Merlin looked up.

“Arthur…” He held onto Arthur’s shirt. The look they were sharing was enough to make Uther sick to his stomach. “Kiss me.”

“As you wish, my love.” They leaned in and kissed each other with an adoration that made Uther’s stomach twist with rage.

 _This_ was what really was happening? He had been stripped of his crown for _this_?!

Despite the urge to storm out and run the serving boy through, he calmed himself and made his way back to his rooms.

“Did you see the truth?” Morgause spoke from where she sat, a smirk on her face as she watched him come in.

“I will not let this end like this.” Uther said.

“I can help you with that.” Morgause said.

“Why would you help me? After what I did to your family?” Uther demanded.

“Emrys and Arthur made my sister turn her back on me. I don’t want them to get what they want.” She said simply.

“And what do you propose?” Uther asked, glaring at her with distaste and distrust.

“I will give you a ring for Arthur. It will render him under your control. That way you may manage Camelot until you feel that he is ready to become king.” She said simply. She took out a cloth that she began to open. An elaborate golden ring grasping onto a red stone.

Uther took the item, staring at the glistening gem, glistening with an eerie glow if he held it against the candlelight just right. “I place this on Arthur and Arthur will obey everything I command?” Uther asked.

Morgause smirked and nodded. “He will do all you ask of him.”

“If I ask him to execute every resident in Camelot, he will do it?” He asked.

“Anything.”

“If I ask him to execute that serving boy, Merlin, he’ll do it?” Uther continued, looking at the gem closer.

“And relish every moment.” She replied.

“And what do you want in exchange?” Uther demanded.

Morgause looked at him with all seriousness in her eyes. “I want _my_ father’s lands returned to me. I want all his wealth returned to me. I want a shrine to be built in my mother’s name with Camelot funds. I may not be able to bury her body properly, as those who practice magic are thrown in unmarked graves,” She said with hate dripping from every syllable. “but I _will_ have you honouring her memory that way. You will grant me pardon for practicing magic, as well as pardon Morgana. That will be all I ask and nothing more.” She said.

Uther stared at her for a long time. “You have my word.” Not that he owed any loyalty to this filthy magic user. Uther would take her magic and use to his benefit, starting by having her executed the very day he gained control back.

oOoOoOo

Merlin shifted uncomfortable where he was forced to sit, right next to Arthur, on the spot where Arthur himself used to sit. Arthur was now sat on the king’s throne and Uther had not shown himself at all since Arthur had been crowned king a few days ago.

“Stop fidgeting.” Morgana whispered as she reached over for a slice of bread.

“This feels wrong.” Merlin insisted, keeping his eyes locked on the plate of food he’d barely touched, knowing that if he looked up, he’d see the courtiers giving him curious looks from time to time and whispering to each other. He knew whatever they were saying couldn’t be good, but he didn’t dare use his magic to listen.

Arthur reached for his hand then, holding it gently. Merlin froze, looking up at Arthur, knowing that their joined hands could be clearly visible to all those watching. “It’s getting late, let’s retire.” He said.

Merlin deflated with relief and smiled, nodding, getting to his feet as quickly as he could. When the king stood, everyone rose to their feet.

“Friends, I bid you all a good night, please enjoy the rest of the feast.” Arthur said. Merlin followed Arthur, like he’d always done and sighed with relief once everyone was out of hearing range.

“I’ll never get used to that.” Merlin said.

“You’re my husband, Merlin. You’ll have to get used to it.” Arthur said, slowing down until Merlin was walking beside him. “I want you by my side, always.” He said, taking his hand.

Merlin felt his heart race, looking up at Arthur’s gentle smile and looked away, shocked at just how much he seemed to love the prat.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, hand in hand until they reached Arthur’s room.

“How’s your magic feeling?” Arthur asked, removing his cloak.

Merlin tested it out, creating a simple orb and moving it around at will. “Fairly in control.” He smiled, coming to help Arthur with the rest of his clothes. “Looks like eloping worked.” He said.

“Hmm…” Was all that Arthur said and Merlin gulped as he reached to pull up Arthur’s shirt off of him. The intense way Arthur was looking at him made Merlin feel hot and nervous all at the same time. The energy shifted from the usual servant duties to something deeper as Arthur reached to undo the finer garbs that Merlin had been made to wear since Arthur became king.

It was torturous, the way his fingers seemed to ignite a flame wherever they caressed Merlin’s skin and Merlin had to wonder, if Arthur felt the same whenever Merlin was dressing or undressing him.

“A-arthur…” Merlin whispered, leaning closer to him as Arthur let his hand rest on Merlin’s hip, pulling him closer by the neck into a loving kiss that left him breathless.

“Merlin… I want to ask you something.” Arthur said. Merlin looked at him and saw a flicker of vulnerability in the king of Camelot’s eyes.

“What is it?” Merlin asked.

“I want you to…” Arthur’s gaze flickered down before coming back to meet his eyes. “I want you to be the one to embrace me…”

Merlin stared at him for a long time, a shudder running down his spine but he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He said with a frown.

“Is that all you feel when I hold you?” Arthur asked. Merlin quickly shook his head.

“No! But… it… I…” Merlin felt the heat rush to his face. “I’ve never… done it… I might not do it right and I don’t…” Merlin wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole, but Arthur didn’t mock him or laugh at him. He simply kissed him deeply once more.

“I won’t force you to do anything every again.” Arthur said, pulling Merlin over to the bed. Merlin felt the soft sheets against his back and shuddered as Arthur climbed on top of him, kissing him deeply, each kiss becoming feverish.

Merlin wondered… what _would_ it feel like? To dominate Arthur. He loved the feeling of having Arthur’s strong body over his, taking full control. Would Arthur enjoy it too if Merlin did the same?

“Merlin…” Arthur whispered against his lips and Merlin felt something snap inside him, turning them around so he was on top.

“I want to try it.” Merlin said.

“Really?” Arthur asked, hopeful and sitting up, but Merlin placed his hand on Arthur’s chest, shoving him back down, making the king look up at him in surprise and annoyance.

“Yes.” Merlin said, leaning down to kiss Arthur deeply, muffling whatever complaint the king was going to give at Merlin’s shove. Arthur reached up to grab onto him, holding him closer and Merlin relished every minute. He reached up and took Arthur’s hands, threading their fingers before pressing his hands down on either side of Arthur’s head.

Merlin leaned back, panting already as he looked at Arthur’s flushed expression, looking a little bit scared at him and Merlin _smirked._

“Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“Shh…” Merlin whispered, leaning down to caress Arthur’s lips. “You’re not allowed to move.” Merlin declared and Arthur surprisingly complied.

Merlin caressed Arthur’s cheek and Arthur’s eyes almost seem to glisten at whatever he must have seen in Merlin’s expression.

“Tonight… you’ll do everything I say.” Merlin whispered and Arthur nodded slowly. Merlin leaned down and kissed him, trailing kisses down the side of Arthur’s jaw, down his neck, savouring each delightful sound coming from his king as he went lower.

Merlin coated his fingers to prepare Arthur, taking his time in distracting him with kisses and nibbles and soft bites as he took his time with him.

Merlin shuddered as he watched Arthur squirm underneath him, panting, tensing, relaxing and going back and forth until eventually he relaxed, trusting himself to Merlin entirely.

“Merlin… please…” Arthur _begged_ and Merlin had to resist every instinct that was demanding he take Arthur now.

“Arthur… are you sure? It might be a bit uncomfortable.” Merlin insisted.

“I don’t care. I want you to embrace me. _Now,_ Merlin. That’s an order from your king.” Arthur hissed, pulling him down to a hungry kiss. Merlin didn’t follow his command.

“Tut, tut. I’m the one in control tonight, _Arthur._ ” Merlin said and smiled once more at Arthur’s frustrated and flushed expression. Merlin didn’t have the heart to keep him waiting long. After a few feverish kisses, Merlin held Arthur close as he pressed against him. Arthur tensed up again and Merlin kissed his neck. “Relax, Arthur.” He whispered against his ear.

It took them a few minutes, but they had nothing but time. Merlin shuddered once they were finally joined and leaned in to kiss Arthur softly. “I love you.” Merlin whispered.

“Merlin… I love you too.”

Gone was the thought of them waiting for the next winter. Their words felt true and raw and unchanging, despite their promise to keep things normal, until they had time to decide.

It seemed that their hearts had long since made their decisions irrespective of their doubts and fears.

Merlin had never, in his wildest dreams, ever thought he and Arthur would be lying together like this. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever picture himself being the one embracing his prince and now king. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine loving it so much.

Holding Arthur, kissing him and whispering soft nothings against his ear, showing him that he too was strong, that he too would do anything to protect Arthur from all harm and would keep him safe till the day he died.

“Nnh… Arthur…” Merlin gasped, feeling it all building too fast as Arthur’s moans increased in volume.

“Merlin!”

“Ah!”

The threads of destiny became stronger. Magic descended like a wave, crashing on both of them, making even Arthur feel its strong current coursing through them.

And somehow… despite their binding ceremony, despite the dragon fire, despite their bond, Merlin felt that finally, the goddess was satisfied.

The candles went out as the magic settled. Merlin and Arthur lay side by side, trying to catch their breath as they held hands.

Arthur was the first to speak as they kept staring at the ceiling.

“Did you just give me an order?” He asked.

“Yes, sire.” Merlin said.

“Several, actually.”

“Indeed, your majesty.”

“I bet it felt good.”

Merlin turned to look at him and grinned. “It wasn’t unpleasant.”

Arthur grinned back and they both laughed softly. In the midst of laughing, Arthur cupped Merlin’s face and they leaned toward each other, kissing each other between chuckles and sweet words and all out joy at having each other in their arms.

oOoOoOo

Arthur felt very sore the next day, but he didn’t regret it at all. He glanced over at Merlin, watching him sleep so peacefully. But it hadn’t been pleasant for Merlin at all. Back then it wasn’t love. It was an order. Merlin had been sent away to carry on with his duties and expected to work as normal the very next day. Arthur was pretty sure he didn’t take as much time preparing Merlin as Merlin had done for him.

Guilt once more filled him as he reached forward to caress Merlin’s cheek. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. He wondered if he’d ever forgive himself and sighed. He would never, but he could spend the rest of the time making up for his original mistakes.

He quietly got out of bed and slipped his trousers on. He made his way to his desk, where he’d left his father’s package unopened.

Curiosity finally got the better of him and he reached for it, opening the letter that came with it.

_Arthur,_

_Although I believe that you are not ready to be king, my crimes are my crimes and I stepped down for the sake of being able to guide you should you ever need advice from someone who understands the struggles of the throne._

_Enclosed is the ring I wore during my first five years as king, until I wed your mother. I hope it will bring you strength in your first years as monarch._

_Despite my mistakes, remember that I will always be your father._

_Although my duties have always been to the kingdom, you were always my son, my heir and my pride._

_Your father,_

_Uther._

Arthur had to read the letter a couple of times to process what he’d read. His father had never been the kind to express such emotions verbally, let alone on paper. He smiled fondly and reached to open the box, where an elaborately engraved ring sat, a bright red stone glistening at its centre.

Arthur took it out, holding the cool metal in his hands.

His eyes glazed over as the magic swam up his fingers, spreading through him. It took control over him.

Morgause’s whispered spells could be heard all around him. Arthur did not feel the urge to put it on. Arthur did not try. The spell was very specific.

_Bind Emrys._

Arthur walked dazed toward the bed.

Emrys? Bind him? Merlin!

Arthur stopped before he got to the bed, his entire being shaking as he fought against the magic.

 _‘Father… I swear to god if you hurt him, I will kill you.’_ Arthur screamed in his mind, fighting the force of the magic, forcing him to take another step. He was losing the fight.

_‘Wake up! Merlin! Stop me!’_

Merlin kept sleeping peacefully and Arthur advanced another step.


End file.
